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Is this silly of me?

(30 Posts)
Grammaretto Mon 28-Feb-22 19:47:48

I am still in the big old house with the huge garden.
DH died a year ago but I am not ready to leave yet.
I spoke to another widow recently who said she waited 5 years before selling and she has just moved into a bungalow on a bus route
She's in her 80s but still fit.

I would miss the garden too. It is mainly the prospect of increasing costs which frighten me and may drive me out eventually.

Dempie55 Mon 28-Feb-22 17:21:45

You sound in a similar situation to me, a couple of years ago. We had lived in the same house for 33 years, huge garden. At 65, we started to talk about downsizing, as the spare bedrooms were only being used a couple of times a year when adult offspring came to visit. Then my husband died suddenly, and I was forced to sell up, as I became nervous in the house on my own and couldn't deal with the garden by myself. When it came to moving, yes, I was sad, it was very difficult to dismantle 33 years of what had been a very happy family home. But, when prospective buyers came to view, and I saw the excitement on their younger faces as they realised the potential of the property, I was happy to hand over the keys to someone who would get full use of the house, with every room being filled with love and laughter.

Josieann Mon 28-Feb-22 17:18:49

It's hard to leave a home with emotional ties attached after so many years. If you can see it as life's chapters it makes things easier. I grew up in a large house in London which my mother then gifted us as a wedding present, our young children grew up there. So many memories when I finally closed the door and drove away to pastures new. But things move on and it was the right decision. Since then I have moved at least 10 times!
I'm sure you will work it through.

Kate54 Mon 28-Feb-22 17:12:25

It isn’t childish at all. You love your home. I expect you would love a new one just as much especially as the garden worry would disappear.
There are two types of people - those who find this sort of thing difficult and those who live change and take the ‘it’s only bricks and mortar’ line.
It’s usually the memories a home represents rather than the building itself. And you always take those with you!

mrsgreenfingers56 Mon 28-Feb-22 17:05:47

I moved to this house 42 years ago. The garden is huge and the house didn't sell due to the size of the garden as house 3 bed semi. The garden was the appeal to me and it is lovely but a huge amount of work and I am now 65 and although can still manage it when I look to the future know I shall have to move. The garden is hedged and a real massive job each year to cut the hedges, I am so relieved when in the autumn it is finished.

But it really bothers me to think of someone else living in MY house if I sell up. I can't seem to let go and hate to think of somebody else living in my home.

Did anyone else feel like this when they sold a family home, how did you let go?

Is this childish of me not to be more mature to know people have to move on with another property at some stage?

Comments most welcome please.