Retirement wishes and reality

We had not really thought about it... but as both DDs moved to the same town, to afford a home to raise their children, we followed them. We don't live in each others pockets but are close enough to help each other as & when needed. It has been a joy to be close to DGC as they grew up and to be able to see them regularly so they consider our home an extension of theirs. i.e. helping themselves to food & drink, dropping cushion & throws on the floor but they are also good company! As both DH & I still do bits of freelance work ..he has just left for work.. not sure if ,even in our 70s consider ourselves retired!

Welcome AussieGran,
I agree about the tree change situation, unbelievable situation. We recently went down to Inverloch in Victoria with our a probus group and looked at the property prices. Oh my, same as Melbourne and worse. I feel sorry for our young grandchildren coming up because rental properties are scarce and super expensive,too.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I always said I'd live very remotely, somewhere that it not only snowed, but where I would regularly be snowed in. I would still love to do this, but with an older husband I doubt I ever will.

When I was younger I wanted a house in the middle of nowhere,but never got it.
Now we have just downsized from a house with a large garden to a tiny bungalow in town.It’s wonderful! I can walk to the drs, chemists,shops.We are close to a beautiful park where we can watch the seasons change and all the beauty and we don’t have to do the work!
I love it!

We thought we had it covered downsizing to somewhere more accessible and near to our DSs and families to help with childcare.I had 2yrs before retirement,DH 5yrs.Then I received notice I was a WASPI case so had to work extra 4.5yrs. during these extra yrs I suffered cancer so no holidays for 2yrs then unfortunately developed further illness requiring numerous investigations and meds,holidays again off limits.All stress and worry causing DH fall into depression.I was finished at work on ill health 2months before official retirement age.In Sept pre covid we had a fantastic holiday making bucket lists for when my DH join retirement.Family holiday booked May 2000 in celebration of our retirements and my controlled health issues.Then COVID ---- Boots travel insurance withdrew and refunded our policy, We managed a long weekend at the coast at a huge cost due to Covid demand and to be honest bit of a nightmare keeping family safe and entertained.Now 2yrs further on cannot get insurance to travel,haven't seen Dr for over 2yrs fully vax 3 plus extra booster.DH would not want to drive any long distance now.Our retirement plans such a big disappointment.The area we moved too has cut back on transport ,shops and facilitys closed due to COVID so all in all a total let down.Saving grace we are still alive, ageing together awaiting the inevitable.

DH and I planned to travel round Australia on retirement. To be fair we always put aside chunks of long service leave to have extended holidays abroad, so not putting things off. He died at 61, nearly six years ago.

I planned some aspects of my retirement, going part-time in increasing time before stopping work last year which was a great idea. Of course Covid punched a hole in travel here, even within my own state and country.

Now I'm on hold, waiting for results of a medical investigation which might affect travel. I really want to go back and see friends and reactions in the UK.

Health permitting, and I feel perfectly healthy in myself, I'll get the travel, and meanwhile do museum guiding (not on the original plan), taming my garden and getting out to galleries/shows, etc with DD.

I'm fortunate in that I own my house and am financially comfortable. It's by the sea, so get the sandy walks with the dog. A cottage in the middle of nowhere never appealed as we both of us always kept a beady eye on infrastructure.

So. The big plan can't happen, but lots of the smaller stuff has. What I miss is having an adult to talk to on a daily basis.

At 21 all I ever wanted was enough money not to have to work, a nice place to live and a dog. Retirement is brilliant!

Before I left the school that I worked st for 19 years, 7 months and 10 days ( but hey, who’s counting !?) I just wanted to retire to ANYWHERE but went on supply which was okay by and large. Then I was sent to a school for one day and stayed for 5 years and worked past retirement because I loved it . Happy days !

My husband had the dream of moving to Spain when we retired. We did this and lived there for 14 years. Even though I hadn't particularly wanted to go I loved it and made a lot of friends. It wasn't a bed of roses as we had a lot of problems with our property but I loved the country and our lifestyle.
After 14 years he got itchy feet and we moved back to the UK. Happily settled in a small rural village where people are very friendly.
We now have a holiday home in Spain and are off next week/
I think we have been very fortunate but wonder (approaching 80) how long we will be able to do the long drive to Spain. We need to travel by car so we can take our little rescue dog with us.

We had great plans to see parts of the world we only dreamed of. Sadly 11 years ago DH had a stroke and is now practically housebound. Although I am no longer working, I find I am exhausted all the time as I have to do everything in house and gardens. Like you Saggi, DH refuses to register disabled and won't hear of me claiming carer's allowance even though he cannot cater for himself if I am not there.
My only break is when I walk our lively dog (though that's tiring too), or when my son asks if I can sit with 18month old grandaughter on an odd occasion.
So not at all what I wished for my senior years.

Saggi
Ginpin, yes, looking after little one’s is hard work. I did that 20 years ago with my daughter’s children. My sons, having married much later, have got young children, but I informed them that I wouldn’t be doing as much for them as I did for my daughter’s children. I was 20 years younger. They have understood. I do the odd couple of hours babysitting , but no school runs etc. Ginpin, have you tried talking to them and explaining that you are getting tired? I’m sure they will understand. Good luck!

I did the opposite ...lived in the EU (Spain, and then twice in France, very rural, peaceful ..pretty village and very quiet !) I now live on a busy Metro line 15 minutes from a busy city centre, university teaching hospitals, doctors surgeries (45 min drive away when I lived in France) ,,,ok as everyone HAD to drive to get even the bread ! now can walk to the sea and the beach, one minute...bus stops outside, an international airport, beautiful countryside to walk in, a ferry terminal, dentists, doctors all on hand ......we all get older and rural France had no transport whatsoever, with a taxi to the nearest town (10 km) costing in excess of 30 euros each way.....what;s not to like ! People tend to forget age WILL eventually (if we live that long !) and then living in a rural place may not be so tempting !

We hadn’t even thought about retirement. We bother worked for the NHS , me as a nurse and him in logistics . At 57 he was having trouble breathing and after some tests he was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis. He died just 6 weeks later. I was 54 and two years later I had to take early retirement myself due to a very dodgy knee . I had to live on my NHS pension and half of my husbands NHS pension as I was born in the waspi years and didn’t get the rest of my pension till 63 and a half .
I’m fine though. I sold my house ten years or so ago and moved in with my daughter and family.
We go on holidays most years and all get along well.

I thought about moving to a coastal resort, but wasn't able to due to health problems and lack of cash. But I'm very happy living in my city based home and am now so glad that I didn't move. I have nice neighbors, live within walking distance of town, local parks and gardens and close to the bus and train stations.

I retired at 62 to help look after my newborn GS. 10 years later I’ve never looked back, had no expectations just being away from the stress of work, seeing family, having the freedom to do what I want. My partner has only just retired and though my life is a bit different with him being around it’s working well so far and he is so so happy to be away from work. He had no grand plan either except not to have to get up early every day and to have some time to himself.

I first wanted to go to Macchu Picchu and Ulan Bator when I was about 5. A woman came to our house and had some business with my mother. She leaned over and said in a patronising tone . Are you reading about the seaside ? would you like to go with a teddy. I looked at her and said clearly no I want to go Peru and outer mongolia!! she got quite a shock and my mother thought it was very funny and it became a family story that I grew up wanting to actually do. didnt manage that but lived in Syria, Portugal and travelled all over europe and scandanvia and to thailand and iceland and other places. Sailed my elderly yacht so had lots of different experiences but not much money, we went camping in france and britian as a family and many other things. Started to go back to YHA , but then I had cancer and my husband had many problems and eventually I am now a widow and never made either of my original places. with cancer and mobiity problems I think Macchu Piccu is not a reailistic possibility now with the covid situation and the cost too. But I aint done yet!! I still intend to keep wandering about and as an act of defiance to my health situation have just bought the yellow garden book for this year and my good friend has reached the milestone of 80 and we are going to share a lodge for a week in the lakes and go and see gardens , wander at our speed, she taught german and I taught english as a foreign language and we have lots to remember from the college. We both like gardens and so our treat now is going to be looking round gardens, getting chinese or make a casserole and go back to the lodge where we have pushed the boat out and have got one with a hot tub. Used to love them in iceland , so this was a birthday treat and we see ourselves sat there in the evening glass in hand and a lot of laughs. Not quite Peru, but great to be happy with a friend and have some time together to do just what we want and get up at 6am or 11am with no one to tell us what to do. Looking forward to it!!

I planned to move to rural Spain alone! I even took Spanish lessons. God knows what was in my mind at the time. I'm 70 and have my 4 children and 7 grandchildren in close proximity and wouldn't want to be away from them now.

I had no big plans for retirement and fortunately both travelled extensively during work. There’s nowhere on my bucket list and now health is a priority, without that nothing can be enjoyable. I’m happy doing nothing and now find airports dire!

My advice to a friend about moving was “if either of you were left on your own would you be able to cope with the house?” Their children and families had moved to the west country years ago - they went to join them. So far so good.

Him indoors and me have moved away from our children and their families, and would loathe to go back to the midlands. We miss them so much but realistically there will come a time when we are no longer as important to the GC.
Plus, we are by the coast and they are welcome anytime for a break.

Covid retired me after my last working day on 20-03-20 as I was a Supply Teacher att.
Always thought I would have plenty of time for all my interests once I stopped teachng.
No way - because we still live near the daughters and grandchildren, ( 4 months up to 11 years ) , and are at their beck and call !!!
The only way to get our own time would be to move away but we would never do that.
My husband and I had to move away from our familes 44 years ago to get teaching jobs and brought our family up on our own. Now, those 3 girls seem to need us to help them with so much to do with their children. !!!
For instance, our youngest who has a 2y 4m old and a 4 month old needed me to help her with swimming this morning. I used to take all 3 of mine swimming, 2 yrs apart, all under 5, on my own.
Now this evening, she needs us to go out to her house to hold the baby whilst she puts the 2 yr old to bed, because her husband will be late home. !!!!
My husband used to be at school very late every night ( even back in the 80s ) And I always got all three of ours to bed on my own !
I am not really moaning because I do like to help. But just feeling very tired and have to remind our daughters that I am 26, 28 and 30 yrs older than them!
Would love to have more time for my hobbies though.

Oh Saggi, I’m so sorry. You must be knackered. Does your husband still refuse to claim any benefits he might be entitled to? His pride comes at such a huge cost to you. Have you investigated whether you might be entitled to claim anything if he won’t? ?

I’m sorry that so many of you have had retired plans thwarted. We didn’t ever really plan much, we’re both quite impulsive and have done things spontaneously, not always a good thing! But we’ve ended up in a detached bungalow with a garden just the right size, and everything and everybody we care about nearby. Who knows what the future will bring, but we’re very content at the moment.