Retirement wishes and reality

My husband had a stroke at 50 …finished his job or any job. I went to work full time as he wouldn’t cla benefits and looked after house /garden and every other damn thing. 26 years on …with him deteriorated to the enth degree…I’m still doing it. I was basically widowed at 46…. I’m now 72…. my work load is astronomical and I’m never free from responsibility. We can only afford a carer coming in three times a week for 1/2 hour at a time…so I can go somewhere to be ‘free’. My husband retired at 50….I will never retire!! Plans?!? I don’t do them.

Alioop

I worked in retail so I was always in the company of people and now I hardly see anyone . All the promises from friends of lunches, coffee, getaways, etc have dwindled down to practically zero. My closest friend and I had lunches or went shopping weekly and despite her promises that when her husband retired we would still do it, last time was nearly 3 months ago, I never see her, she always busy. Thank goodness for my dog to get out and about or I think I'd go nuts.

Sadly this is a very common but understandable problem. Most people you used to saw day in, day out at work, rarely see you when you're retired. They're busy. Did we follow up retirees when we were in our 40s and 50s? We were busy.
We have to make a massive effort on retirement to make new social circles.

I took early retirement when Covid hit the college where I lectured. I had been considering it for some time and that just gave me the impetus to actually do it. My DH, like everyone else, began to work from home and is still doing so today, so he is here with me at home, albeit working. He talks about retiring, but he is very well paid for just exercising his grey matter and so I suspect he will work for a while longer yet. It is very much his choice, which is a great position to be in.

We know we are very, very, fortunate to have our health, and each other. Our lovely sons are all grown up and self-sufficient but they call in or ring very frequently, and we have a grandchild on the way.

We decided during the long, chatty days of summer lockdown that we should consider moving. Our house is wonderful, but it is up a lot of steps and we need to drive to a shop, and to any local bars or restaurants. We wanted easy, non-driving, access to all of those as we get older.

We put our much-cherished family home on the market and sold it very quickly. We knew exactly where we wanted to go (a mile or so away, but almost in the centre of the village) by luck a house came up in the location we wanted and we bought it.

We haven't really downsized and it will need a lot of changes to make it what we want, but we have the money and so we will do it. We move in a month, and I am already very excited to be planning the changes.

We also intend to holiday more abroad and see more of the UK. If the fates allow.

The war in Europe is a horrible backdrop to all our lives though and I feel so very sorry for those poor people having to endure the unimaginable. I really do feel very fortunate, and I am also acutely aware that in a split second life could change very dramatically for any one of us.

I started planning financially to retire at 50 in my 20s and I was 3 months behind schedule when I retired. Since then I've had a busy time and I'm now winding down somewhat at 75 but I do think it was important to enjoy the life I had before retirement as one does not know ones age of death or one partner's. I didn't really have fantasy about retirement.

I retired years ago and moved house more or less at the same time, its so quiet here, nobody to talk to during the day and people too busy to speak to when they come home.I feel I am going mad sometimes, but we do have a haven to go to in the UK its a small town in the Lakes, and I LOVE it, people are so friendly, they say hello as they are passing, we dont know them, this place has everything, and last week while visiting I realised I spoke to more people during that week than I had spoken to this year. Dont retire to a place which in ones mind would be ideal, it probably isnt, unless you want to hibernate!

MawtheMerrier So sorry x
My own circumstance: I am working 5 days a week and helping care for elderly parents (80’s) Mum has Alzheimer’s, Dad a heart complaint…but it won’t be forever and I’m so lucky to still have my Parents - my Partner (won’t marry me) threatens to retire in 18months, we are both 62 later this year, but he never wants to go anywhere, do anything and although I dream we will move to our own home (live in his martial home) I won’t hold my breath. I would dearly love to be near the grandchildren but ours our a good 4 hours drive apart and I don’t know that he would really move anyway - I’m abit worried about retiring as it will be just us - sad really!

I knew I was going to face a pretty solitary retirement when I married my second husband who is 7 years younger than me. I retired and was able to claim my state pension at 62 (8 years ago) but he isn't eligible for his for another 4 years. I'm perfectly willing to pursue my own activities and for a while after retirement I did voluntary work but I'm no longer able to drive (failing sight) and, post Covid I have yet to feel confident about using public transport again. We have endless debates about whether DH should just stop work now so that we can visit family more (they live nearly 4 hours away) and do things together before I have even more health problems. But it would be very difficult to live just on my pension, especially now with living costs rising so hugely, and we'd have no spare money to do anything anyway. I'd be interested to hear what others have done whilst waiting for younger (or still working) husbands to retire. I sometimes feel like I'm just wishing time away, which is stupid.

I worked in retail so I was always in the company of people and now I hardly see anyone . All the promises from friends of lunches, coffee, getaways, etc have dwindled down to practically zero. My closest friend and I had lunches or went shopping weekly and despite her promises that when her husband retired we would still do it, last time was nearly 3 months ago, I never see her, she always busy. Thank goodness for my dog to get out and about or I think I'd go nuts.

I moved away from where I always lived in 1992...My dream was to go back to my old town before hubby & I retired and kids were married......Got my dream 7 years ago...Managed to buy a smaller house outright...Retired 3 years ago and I am so happy.....Home is defo where the heart is....

After I lost my mum at 71, I decided I wasn’t waiting until I was of retirement age. I now have 3 very part time jobs that I really enjoy, and I get time off whenever I want it.

We’re moving, as soon as we can to somewhere as remote as we can manage, within cycling distance of shops. I’m getting an ebike and will use the car as little as possible. I already walk about 8 miles a day, and I will continue to do so. Arthritis will not get me- I don’t care what joints need replacing (I’m already one new joint in)- I’ll have the lot done!

I retired at near 69 after losing my elder brother and sister within four weeks of each other. I started to question why I was still working full time. I had plans for things I would do, how I would spend all this free time. Within a month of retiring covid hit and I was confined to my narrow boat home not being able to see any friends or family as they were all way out of the distance we were allowed to travel. The swans, geese and ducks visited knowing snacks were available... Mr Swan would sit next to me on my jetty while I sewed. He would nudge me occasionally for a snack. He was wonderful company. So it went on. This was my retirement. Now two years on, still with covid in the background, it is difficult getting motivated again to start those plans of so long ago. Mr and Mrs Swan still visit and Mrs Duck lets me stroke her. The ducklings from a few years ago bring their babies to visit the strange lady on the blue boat. Maybe I will win the lottery and buy a little cottage by a river somewhere....one is allowed to dream. I would miss my riverbird friends though....

I retired at 67, now 73. Had trouble with a teenage gs so had to move house. I was looking forward to retirement but am now disabled, though live in a nice house. Live the best you can while you can (and enjoy any money you may have)

jaylucy

Escape to the Country makes me smile - many of the couples are retirees and what do they show them ? Houses either in the middle of nowhere (they have the usual dreams of having chickens and goats or running a camping site) or small villages where the only facilities are a pub and a church!
What happens when they can no longer drive and there is no bus service ?
Many town dwellers also have the fantasy of moving to a village and "becoming part of a community" when for years they have barely spoken to their next door neighbour !

When they can't drive they move again! Land is always valuable because they aren't making any more of it. I don't want goats or chickens but I would "escape to the country" in a heartbeat if I could.

Sorry that should say before we retired.

We downsided before we moved, have a lovely flat with gardens which are communal surrounded woods parks and for SE London is pretty good. But and there is a but I always wanted to move to suffolk but unfortunately things didn’t go our way.
We love where we live though.

jaylucy

Escape to the Country makes me smile - many of the couples are retirees and what do they show them ? Houses either in the middle of nowhere (they have the usual dreams of having chickens and goats or running a camping site) or small villages where the only facilities are a pub and a church!
What happens when they can no longer drive and there is no bus service ?
Many town dwellers also have the fantasy of moving to a village and "becoming part of a community" when for years they have barely spoken to their next door neighbour !

Ha haaaa! ! Hilarious ideas of what they THINK they want, why do the presenters always bang on about the pub being "the hub of the village"?!? Do they think retirement can be filled with boozy lunch dinner and supper and paying crippling prices for very limited stock in a dingey village store?!? And where the bejeezus do those budgets come from?!?!? "Young couple aged 22&24 budget of 649000-1million" ??I honestly think some couples are actors/stooges as there aren't enough takers to fill the contracted series? I keep telling him indoors we should apply! All that nosey snooping over an all expenses paid weekend wherever wefancy visiting??

I had plans to travel and visit places in UK with my husband that we hadn't been to before. Even though he had mobility problems we were going to get a bigger car and a folding mobility scooter. U fortunately he retired in December 2019 and his health deteriorated due to various things happening to him from June 2020 to being admitted to hospital once in October 2020 and again in January 2021 where he contracted the dreaded 19 and never came home. So am having to rethink my retirement plans now.

My retirement dream was a 4 bed villa with pool and fruit trees. Well in 2016 we did get the dream. It was wonderful for the 1st year. The tranquility drove me mad and it wasn’t at all what I expected. It was cold in December to March and I was bored to the extreme. We came back in 2019 but I did fulfill my dream and won’t be forever be wondering ‘what if’.

I feel I have what I love most now: caring husband, amazing AC and GC, beautiful home in a peaceful village, good friends... I can't think of anything I'd change. I love my life.

#UN PLAYED WITH!!

My mother and stepfather moved to a bungalow in a small seaside village. A lot of their friends were also there, and they had a very active social life. But as the years have gone on my mother is now in her 80s and all her friends have either died or moved to be closer to relatives. My mother is now housebound, unless someone takes her out in her wheelchair. The only person she sees on a regular basis is her very kind next door neighbour who is also in her 80s.
I am trying to get her to move near me but she is refusing to move.

All my retirement plans have gone out of the window - any money I had set aside for this event is now being spent on my son's custody battle to gain access to his children.

Never thought about it but it happened by default.
OH retired at 55, I was 58 and still working.
He booked a surprise holiday. While there we saw a property with a view of the sea/coast to die for.
Bought the property.
Back in the uk, put our property on the market.
We viewed the property in October. By the following April we were living there.

I'm retiring later this year, all I wished was that I was fit and healthy enough to enjoy it, touch wood at present I am. My husband died suddenly 15 years ago aged 55. I don't forsee having the childcare that some do in retirement as my grandchildren range in age from age 18 -10. I will be

Maybe being a grandma to clutch of little one from our 4ds........reality? Only one has children and he's estranged, not seen them for 5years now.....others either don't or can't have any kids. Live in large detached with 3 king rooms we thought mY be well used but now we have a room each (snoring et Al!) And third houses a now in played with model railwe spent 2-3 years building (for GK again , they've never seen it) my advice? Don't plan........