To my fellow Gransnetters on Mothering Sunday

Thank you, GrannyLaine: how compassionate, and how true. I am very firm on it being Mothering Sunday not Mother's Day, as mothering can take many forms including painful ones for some women. Sending all of these love on this wonderful/ difficult day.

I feel for those mothers who had to give up their babies. At
the end of my Nana's street was the 'unmarried mothers 'home.
When we walked past my mother would say 'don't look at them
they are bad women' and she was only in her early 20's herself
with 3 under 5's. Such a hard world then. (early 60's)

Beautiful, beautiful thread. Can't read anymore just noe, too many tears

Beautiful, beautiful thread. Can't read anymore just now, too many tears

Chestnut

I feel most for those whose child either died or was lost to them for some reason. They must feel such sadness on Mother's Day. It's not a happy day for so many women. ?

This is true. I feel the same Chestnut

Lovely words GrannyLaine so many people with different experiences.
Thinking of everyone who is sad on this Mothering Sunday

Happy Mother's Day ? Thinking of all for whom this day brings some sadness ?

Wishing all mothers a special day.

I feel most for those whose child either died or was lost to them for some reason. They must feel such sadness on Mother's Day. It's not a happy day for so many women. ?

What a lovely and true read,thank you.
Happy mothers day to those who celebrate it today.

Happy Mothers Day to all my friends on GN. Yes, I wish my mother was here too. My Mother gave so much but never expected anything in return. Happy Mothers Day in Heaven ❤️

Ixion Beautifully written. I find that it is always a poignant time of year when there are so many things I'd love to be able to tell my Mum. I'd love to be able to choose her the best card and find just the right present. It leaves such a big void. And yet...... I am so grateful for all the wonderful memories

Thank you GrannyLaine.
Happy Mothers’ Day to all mothers and to those with mothers who are still with you and those without.

Oh Kandinsky so many mothers in that situation! That's why this particular piece of writing appealed so much: so many of us are touched by the pain of loss which is often poorly understood by others. Or worse, marginalised by a comment that starts with 'At least....'

Lovely poem GrannyLaine - Motherhood really does come in many forms.
Not to put a dampener on this lovely thread, but I often wonder how my older sister feels on Mother’s Day. She was forced to give up her 5 day old son by my parents back in the early 70’s ( to avoid embarrassment on the family ) she never went on to have anymore children.
She’s now in her 70’s & I know she never got over it.
So to my sister, & to all women who have been through what she has.
Thinking of you today xx

Apologies for the length, but I thought this article sent to me was somewhat poignant on this special day.
I just felt I wanted to share it

On Mothering Sunday -
by the gentle author

Valerie, my mother

What are you to do on Mothering Sunday if you have no mother? My mother died in 2005 and each year I confront this troubling question when the annual celebration comes around.

If I was religious I might light a candle or lay flowers on a grave, yet neither of these is an acceptable option for me. Contemplating advertisements for Mothering Sunday gifts, I deliberate privately over the tender question as my sense of loss deepens in the approach to this particular day, only for it to dissipate afterwards. This uneasy resolution brings no peace, serving to remind me how much I miss her. It is a feeling which grows with each Mothering Sunday that passes, as the distance in time that separates us increases and the memories fade. I do not expect or wish to ‘get over it,’ I seek to live in peace with my sadness.

I wish she could see where I live now and I could share the joys of my life with her. I have a frustrated instinct to communicate delights, still identifying sights and experiences that I know she would enjoy.

My picture of her has changed. The painful experience of her final years when she was reduced to helpless paralysis by the onset of dementia has been supplanted by a string of fragmentary images from my childhood – especially of returning from school on summer afternoons and discovering her at work in her garden.

I think of how she raised her head when she smiled, tossing her hair in assertion of a frail optimism. ‘Not too bad, thank you!’ she is admitting, lifting her head to the light and assuming a confident smile with a flash of her eyes. This was her default answer to any enquiry into her wellbeing – whether it was a routine or genuine question – and she maintained it through the years, irrespective of actual circumstances. When life was smooth, it was a modest understatement and when troubles beset her, it was a discreet expression of personal resilience. For her, it was a phrase capable of infinite nuance and I do not believe she ever said it in the same way. Yet although I could always appreciate the emotional reality that lay behind her words, I think for everyone but me and my father it was an opaque statement which efficiently closed the line of enquiry, shielding her private self from any probing conversation. From her I learnt the value of maintaining equanimity and keeping a sense of proportion, whatever life brings.

I realise that I was lucky to have a mother who taught me to read before I started school at four years old. Denied the possibility of a university education herself, she encouraged me to fulfil her own thwarted ambitions and – perhaps more than I appreciate – I owe my life as a writer to her. Yet there is so much I could say about my mother that it is almost impossible to write anything. I recognise that the truth of what she means to me is in a region of emotion that is beyond language, but I do know that what she was is part of who I am today.

Increasingly, I am aware that many of those around me also share this situation of no longer having mothers. Perhaps I should buy them all flowers this Mothering Sunday? Certainly if anyone enquires, I shall reply ‘Not too bad, thank you!’ with a smile and raise my head. In that moment, I shall conjure her robust spirit from deep inside me and she will be present, in my demeanour and in my words, this Mothering Sunday.

GrannyLaine Thankyou. What a compassionate and all encompassing piece that is. Deeply thoughtful. Happy Mothers Day to all as we remember lost loved ones and appreciate those that are with us. ?

Thank you GrannyLaine

Thinking of all mothers today, particularly my own and DH's mother and also of someone dear to us who lost her child last year at far too young an age.

What I'd give to have just a few hours today with my late Mum and Mum in Law who shaped my pathway to motherhood. But pretty much all of my adult life has been centred around the construct of motherhood: learning to be one and later, supporting families in their transition to parenthood. My greatest joy (and often pain) has come from watching my own children embark on that journey. My greatest learning has come from a much wider friendship group who followed a very different pathway as parents. Think I must be feeling a bit sentimental today: I shall sally forthwith and put my big girl pants on!

Happy Mothering Sunday one and all.

Ixion, so true. Thank you ?

Wishing folk a good day....remembering our own mother's, being thought about by our children etc.

Ours isn’t until May.May 14th.

Happy Mother’s Day?

Thank you .

Happy Mothering Sunday to all