Not good at organizing parties...

It’s my 60th in January and I’ve been asked what I’d like. I would hate a large surprise party or a fancy dress party. I just love more intimate gatherings with my closest loved ones and best friends. I think she should be asked what she would like. I’d hate for people to feel stressed organising something for me.

My DH has always said he didn't want a fuss. We went ahead and organised an afternoon tea with his oldest friends and family from all over the country (pre-covid of course). He was delighted and genuinely moved that people could be bothered to do something especially for him.

Some good ideas from other people above, but I would try to help her OH organise something if you could.

I would hate for someone to organise a 'surprise' party for me. I hate being the centre of attention.

Personally, I would rather go away for a nice weekend to celebrate with my DH and keep it low key.

I would ask her what she would like rather than assuming. If she has family, she may prefer to have a small get together with them.

As Urmstongran said, maybe smaller get togethers with her other groups of friends at later dates. If that is what she wants.

If they have a garden and it is June then a drop in barbeque might be a bit less formal.

You need to settle on a budget and decide who is paying for what, as at least two families are now involved, to prevent any grudges building up later.

Why not have an " Noon to Nine At Home" day? You can stagger invites for different groups? I have done this this. Invites can state x will be 'At home' celebrating her birthday & would love to see you anytime between x & y o'clock for drinks & nibbles! '. If each group of pals is invited for a couple of hours then there is time to talk. My family turned up whenever & helped out! Offer glasses of bubbly or non alcoholic alternative and simple canapés, crispy / nut type nibbles to keep it simple. Of course there may be overlap but that doesn't matter. A friend who also did similar ordered in pizza for the evening guests!

I would be wary or organising a party, unless you know she would enjoy it.

If smeone wanted me to organise a party for them. I would want to know a lot more information than you have. As you say, you only know some of her friends, so I would expect her DH to draw up the invite list, names, addresses - and send the invitations out. Let him decide what the event will be - tea party, cocktail party or whatever. Then guide him to choosing a venue and getting caterers in to provide the food. Lots of pubs have function rooms and will do the catering and all the hard work - oh, and order a nice cake.

If he is expecting you to organise the invites and do the catering, just say NO.

When my friend reached 70y she decided against ‘one big party’. Like your friend CanadianGran she is part of a few groups - book club, ramblers, art appreciation group etc. - so she decided to have a lunch with each group once a month. It gave her something to look forward to throughout the year. Her actual birthday was spent with her large family group.

Does she have children? If so, they might be doing something for her.

Personally, I would hate anyone organising a party for me. If her DH is keen, he ought to be the main man doing it.

You all need to consider very carefully whether she would actually want a party, and if you decide to go ahead then maybe keep it simple. Don't invite all these groups, just keep it small with just her close friends. You only need four couples, some tea, sandwiches and a cake. It will qualify as a party but not be overwhelming.

Does she even like parties?
I would be very unhappy if any of my friends organised one for me!

How about an afternoon tea party? Less formal than a dinner party. As it’s in June you might even be able to hold it outside,