Needing a stencil

love it

Thank you for these. A friend said that she had told her family that gifts for her should be combustible.

The only one I can think of is rather naughty, I had an elderly lady in my previous role, ask me for a cranberry and brie punani (panini) ?

I only knew what it meant from my sons watching Ali G religiously.

An old friend of ours insisted on wearing his straw Panorama!

Howling with laughter, thank you for all of these!

I worked in a grocery shop in my youth. A customer once came in and asked for dedicated coconut.

Elderly lady in a large DIY shop asked the young male assistant if he could direct her to the Durex paint.

My mother-in-law has a painful thumb due to arthritis. She told my DH that the Doctor had told her to wear a splinter.

It would certainly stop his teeth hurting! ?

A long time ago a neighbour told me how much they enjoyed the landscapes by Serendipity Jones. Possibly Capability Brown?

Years ago while doing an older lady’s hair, she informed me that her uncle had been a big shot in MFI ( she of course meant MI5.)
Another lady while watching the ladies tennis on tv said “that girl Stella Artois must be good, they’re putting her name all round the court” ?

Well, I suppose that would provide the ultimate solution.

When I worked in a chemist shop a customer told me her Dh had sensitive teeth and the dentist had recommend he use cyanide toothpaste.

My friend was chatting to someone she had not long met about food, takeaways, and things they loved to eat.
Her new friend informed her that her absolute favourite thing was a nice chicken tigger.

A friend told me last week that they had changed their energy supplier to Octopussy. No their name isn't Bond!

Keep them coming - love this thread ?

I used to work in IT support for international calls. One customer had a problem, he told me he kept hitting his bottom but nothing was happening. Others had helped by hitting his bottom too, still no luck.
Yes, he meant button. ?

My neighbour had panasonic views from her hotel room.

My neighbour told me that she'd just come back from a humourist funeral ! What a lovely idea !

The birds around here 'twit'.

??

Someone once told me how they loved to watch the birds in the bush outside her window pruning themselves ?