Managing household finances

I pay all the bills and DDs apart from council tax....DP sorts his own car out...separate bank accounts ....DP would just ask DC to help him out if he was left on his own....but I'm sure he would be fine

I sort out the finances always have done. We both know our outgoings and incomings! It would really bother me if I wasn’t aware of things.

Husband did all the money things as I didnt earn much.Son helps me now but I really need to sort out a couple of things where I am paying far to much.Keep putting it off as I hate going into the bank and I can't do this online.

Granny23, I also was a bank clerk when we were first together, so it just made more sense for me to do finances. I also grew up in a house where Dad handed over his pay packet every week, and Mum took care of the finances. But I also remember a woman who came in after her husband died without a clue about banking, and was a teary eyed mess (I mean that kindly, poor thing). Nobody should be left in that situation.

So I have always done the the finances, but we make joint decisions about the bigger decisions, and I let him know if something has increased or changed. he does have logins and passwords, and actually logs in a few times a year to 'practice'.

Interesting that just as in this thread we are hearing of some wives and (fewer) husbands who leave finance to others and know nothing about it, there is also a thread on people who get scammed out of money because they have always left managing family finances to their partner and some times even take a perverse pride in being financially ignorant. Once on their own a fool and their money are soon parted.

I knew a couple where he'd left all the household finances to her for years.
When they got divorced, he was amazed to find out she had four bank accounts he knew nothing about... ?

As a child, my parents, especially my father brought me up to be financially aware.

When I was married I sorted out everything financial so when he walked out I did not have a problem and will continue without help until I am totally gaga.

I'm the Director of Finance and himself is the CEO. All our money is shared but we both have a separate ISA. Never spend a large amount without discussion.

My husband, with advice from our son who’s an accountant, manages our business account, but I’m always kept fully informed. He has a personal account and before making big purchases he and I will have a discussion that usually consists of him saying he’d like to buy “a bike/windsurfer/kayak” for “£***” and what do I think. I inevitably think he works jolly hard so whatever it is he should “go for it”. ? I know he would only ever buy something he could afford and he’s very pragmatic so will happily buy second-hand if that’s better value.

I have my own personal account and I don’t make expensive purchases (dental bills excepted) and he has no idea whether I have sixpence or £6k in the bank.

Through times of want or plenty we have never had a single argument about money in all the years we’ve been married. We can both manage fine with paying household bills etc.

I had a very rude awakening to the financial side of life when married at the age of 18. (Ex) husband was a complete duffer at managing money. After going overdrawn for about the 20th time, I realised I couldn't trust him to manage, and took over myself. No more joint accounts either.

Has stood me in very good stead in the long run.

We have always (40+ years) had joint money. Initially I was wary but it has worked well. Neither of us leaves an area solely the responsibility of the other, though DH is a better 'rate tart' than I am.
If we don't feel the same way about big ticket stuff the matter is instantly forgotten and we move on. We have never argued about money - household chores, yes, but not £!

I do find it tedious - dh does most of it now, but before retirement he was often away for weeks or months at a time, so it was down to me so I certainly wouldn’t be clueless if I had to do it again.
Fair division of labour! He doesn’t cook and does virtually nothing in the garden beyond mowing the lawn.

I used to have savings in my own name for tax reasons but we have never had separate bank accounts - all money from whatever source has always been ‘ours’.

My mother was always very clued up about money but a friend of hers - same age - had never even written a cheque before her husband died - she’d been given weekly housekeeping money and that was it.

This was maybe 20 years ago now but even then I found it astonishing.

I’m lucky enough not to get involved in household finances much OH pays for all that unless I buy extra stuff that I fancy. I have my own separate income which I spend as I want, mostly it adds to my investments

Katie59 that is fine, as long as, should your DH die or become incapacitated, you would be completely capable of taking over and understanding how everything financial works and of running everything as nearly efficiently as he does.

I have always done my own finances ?

M0nica

Katie59 that is fine, as long as, should your DH die or become incapacitated, you would be completely capable of taking over and understanding how everything financial works and of running everything as nearly efficiently as he does.

Thats why he pays, so that my money goes into my savings

But havubg savings is not the same as knowing what bank accounts there are, how to manage utility bills, which account they are in, how to check bills and all the other minutae of running household business.

M0nica

But havubg savings is not the same as knowing what bank accounts there are, how to manage utility bills, which account they are in, how to check bills and all the other minutae of running household business.

You’re right of course, I did run the household budget until 4yrs ago, now all the routine stuff is done and I don’t miss it, if I want anything extra I buy it.

I’m not dim just lazy. If Himself is happy to take the reins I’m more than happy to let him. If he predeceases me I dare say I shall manage. Anyway we might win the lottery in the meantime (if I buy a ticket).
?

Like you Charleygirl I was brought up to be financially aware.We lived with Mum's parents and Crandpa was a bank manager. Dad was also in a financial job,
But for some reason Mum hadn't a clue. So when Dad died he had made me ??? forgot the name - so I looked after her finances.
But it was another matter living in France. There were 2 tax returns to be made PA - one for uk in Jan. and one in May for France. Transfer sterling to euros for both.UK financial year is 1 Jan to 31 Dec. France 1 Avril to 31 Mars.
I used to dread both dates . Husband's french isn't good.
Since coming back here husband has taken over the UK
tax return Thank God ! Really.
I don't care so much now. except we still both live on the principle "If you can't afford it you learn to manage without"

ps - from my ???
.PA - power of Attorney

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Reported

My gran was in charge of finances in the days when the working man came home with an unopened wage packet
on Friday, slapped it down on the chenille clothed table, say, “there you are love, there’s your wages.”
She had a looooong tin with slits, marked,
gas, coalman, insurance man, tally man, milkman,
had a proper old fashioned purse, knew exactly how
many shillings she had to last the week.

My mum used to say regularly, “if your father goes first I wouldn ‘t know where to start”
Bills would come in and dad would write a cheque, ask mum
to post it! or self importantly march down to the Gas /Electricity Board shop on the High Street (remember those?) and pay it there.
Mum had ‘housekeeping money’ with double at Christmas so Dad did not have to do anything extra.
He had a desk/bureau in which he presumably kept bills, receipts whatever and LOCKED it, mum never knew where the key was.
I don’t know if this was usual in their generation, born mid 1920’s housewives as mushrooms.
When she died my sister found 800£ stashed in a boot at the bottom of her wardrobe,
her running away fund I suppose, taken years to accrue.

I didn’t realise this was an aged thread, it’s a nuisance when bots revive them,
well done Greenfinch