Managing household finances

M0nica

Katie59 that is fine, as long as, should your DH die or become incapacitated, you would be completely capable of taking over and understanding how everything financial works and of running everything as nearly efficiently as he does.

Thats why he pays, so that my money goes into my savings

I have always done my own finances ?

Katie59 that is fine, as long as, should your DH die or become incapacitated, you would be completely capable of taking over and understanding how everything financial works and of running everything as nearly efficiently as he does.

I’m lucky enough not to get involved in household finances much OH pays for all that unless I buy extra stuff that I fancy. I have my own separate income which I spend as I want, mostly it adds to my investments

I do find it tedious - dh does most of it now, but before retirement he was often away for weeks or months at a time, so it was down to me so I certainly wouldn’t be clueless if I had to do it again.
Fair division of labour! He doesn’t cook and does virtually nothing in the garden beyond mowing the lawn.

I used to have savings in my own name for tax reasons but we have never had separate bank accounts - all money from whatever source has always been ‘ours’.

My mother was always very clued up about money but a friend of hers - same age - had never even written a cheque before her husband died - she’d been given weekly housekeeping money and that was it.

This was maybe 20 years ago now but even then I found it astonishing.

We have always (40+ years) had joint money. Initially I was wary but it has worked well. Neither of us leaves an area solely the responsibility of the other, though DH is a better 'rate tart' than I am.
If we don't feel the same way about big ticket stuff the matter is instantly forgotten and we move on. We have never argued about money - household chores, yes, but not £!

I had a very rude awakening to the financial side of life when married at the age of 18. (Ex) husband was a complete duffer at managing money. After going overdrawn for about the 20th time, I realised I couldn't trust him to manage, and took over myself. No more joint accounts either.

Has stood me in very good stead in the long run.

My husband, with advice from our son who’s an accountant, manages our business account, but I’m always kept fully informed. He has a personal account and before making big purchases he and I will have a discussion that usually consists of him saying he’d like to buy “a bike/windsurfer/kayak” for “£***” and what do I think. I inevitably think he works jolly hard so whatever it is he should “go for it”. ? I know he would only ever buy something he could afford and he’s very pragmatic so will happily buy second-hand if that’s better value.

I have my own personal account and I don’t make expensive purchases (dental bills excepted) and he has no idea whether I have sixpence or £6k in the bank.

Through times of want or plenty we have never had a single argument about money in all the years we’ve been married. We can both manage fine with paying household bills etc.

I'm the Director of Finance and himself is the CEO. All our money is shared but we both have a separate ISA. Never spend a large amount without discussion.

As a child, my parents, especially my father brought me up to be financially aware.

When I was married I sorted out everything financial so when he walked out I did not have a problem and will continue without help until I am totally gaga.

I knew a couple where he'd left all the household finances to her for years.
When they got divorced, he was amazed to find out she had four bank accounts he knew nothing about... ?

Interesting that just as in this thread we are hearing of some wives and (fewer) husbands who leave finance to others and know nothing about it, there is also a thread on people who get scammed out of money because they have always left managing family finances to their partner and some times even take a perverse pride in being financially ignorant. Once on their own a fool and their money are soon parted.

Granny23, I also was a bank clerk when we were first together, so it just made more sense for me to do finances. I also grew up in a house where Dad handed over his pay packet every week, and Mum took care of the finances. But I also remember a woman who came in after her husband died without a clue about banking, and was a teary eyed mess (I mean that kindly, poor thing). Nobody should be left in that situation.

So I have always done the the finances, but we make joint decisions about the bigger decisions, and I let him know if something has increased or changed. he does have logins and passwords, and actually logs in a few times a year to 'practice'.

Husband did all the money things as I didnt earn much.Son helps me now but I really need to sort out a couple of things where I am paying far to much.Keep putting it off as I hate going into the bank and I can't do this online.

I sort out the finances always have done. We both know our outgoings and incomings! It would really bother me if I wasn’t aware of things.

I pay all the bills and DDs apart from council tax....DP sorts his own car out...separate bank accounts ....DP would just ask DC to help him out if he was left on his own....but I'm sure he would be fine

I’m the one who does it all and have done since 1983. DH simply isn’t interested though I keep telling him that now we’re older he really needs to get involved! He just gives me that ‘pained’ look!

We have always had a joint account but DH worked very long hours for most of his working life so he was happy for me to manage the day-to-day finances but we make decisions about major purchases, loans etc together. We now use Internet banking, both of us have access to the joint account from which all day-to-day expenditure is deducted, we both have debit cards. We both have individual savings accounts which are linked to the joint account via Internet banking. As we go into our eighties we will probably combine the individual savings accounts into a joint account to make life easier. Any money left at the end of the month is shared and goes into our savings accounts and personal expenditure comes from our savings accounts.

I’m the one that deals with our household finances. I have always been the main earner.

All our accounts are joint, but each of us have a joint account that is treated as a personal account. On mine there is only one debit card and cheque book and I possess both.

We did this very early in our marriage because with DH travelling to remote parts of the world for indefinite periods, I had to pay all his bills and, when I did not work transfer money across to myself at the end of each month. Plus, having transferred a large some of money from his account to mine, if I then was killed or seriously injured and was not functioning in anyway, he would need to recover that money.

Granny23

My DH insisted that he specially selected me as his wife because I, a bank clerkess, would be able to do all the finance and mathematical stuff at which he was hopeless. It transpired that his hopelessness was selective, because as a Carpenter/Joiner running his own business he daily managed to do all the complicated stuff such as calculating stresses on roof timbers, correctly estimating time, wastage, materials for tricky jobs - though he did claim to be unable to calculate the VAT due on the final bill.
Consequentially, I did all his business's invoicing, accounts and Tax/VAT returns UNPAID, while also managing all the household finances. working full time and bringing up 2 DDs I think he got a bargain.

Since you were employed there was no point in him paying you. He would have put it through his books and you would have had to declare it. He would have got tax relief and you would have had to pay tax on it.

Of course he should have given you a present and not claimed tax relief.

I suppose I ‘don’t have a clue’ about say, our utility bills. They get paid by direct debit. We Bank on line. Joint account. I know the access codes. could have a peek if I were interested. It’s just that I’m not. Sometimes my friends ask me how much is our electric or council tax? I always say I’ll ask my PA.

My late husband always managed the finances, and paid money into my account for the kids things/food/petrol etc. It was a steep learning curve for me when he died.

I was visiting a friend a few years younger than me last week and I was talking about energy costs, she said she 'didn't have a clue' about it as her 'husband dealt with all the finances'.

We have a joint account for the main household bills and food shopping, which I manage, but we discuss regularly, especially now the bills are going up. We each pay for certain other things eg TV licence, gardening costs, house insurance, holidays, so this is a grey area which will need sorting out.
Other than that, we each have our own accounts and never talk about what is in them.

DH looks after all the dds and household running accounts, but I know what is spent. We have joint accounts and personal ones, we trust each other to spend wisely, but spend our money as we wish. We always discuss big purchases such as cars or holidays.
Fortunately DH is a generous man and we’ve never argued over money.