People who won’t tell you what they want and expect you to guess

My mother was like this she would find something wrong with every gift and wasn't shy about telling you either, which I think is really rude. I managed only one time to buy her a gift which she seemed genuinely happy with. She'd suddenly started to like and collect garden animal ornaments. I found and bought her a lovely smiley pig one and wrapped it in new tea towels because she was always short of them. As I handed it over I thought she might complain about the tea towels being a gift for the house and not a gift for ~her~ but she actually loved them! Nearly fainted with the shock .

To paraphrases Meatloaf, anythings fine but not 'that' - we'll never know in his case but the sort of person who genuinely thinks you should know exactly what they want and will be very upset if you don't guess it right, now that really pisses me off. If they say they don't mind, anything is OK, I take them at their word these days.

I write a list for Xmas for family of things I would really like
Last years list was
Chocolates
Flowers
Long sleeve t shirt
Slippers mules
Tickets to theater
Trip to London
Karcher window vac
Electric toothbrush
Cookery book by gino
Leather Gloves
Socks
Something for every budget for my 3 ADC to buy that I really wanted
OH wanted a new tablet so it was a joint present between the 3 of them
I always give money to AC with a bottle of alcohol and tin of chocolates, unless they specifically tell me of an item they want.
Sisters get baskets of fruit and flowers or chocolates which is always welcome
OH and I don't buy for each other but usually book a holiday together

DH and I no longer buy presents for each other , we simply have a holiday fund , not used since the pandemic so hopefully this year a mega break !!

No, it’s a male thing

I generally buy what I want throughout the year and often don't know what I would like for Christmas or birthday. Neither does my husband - so we don't give each other anything. It works well for us

My MIL was the worst for this. She would say, 'I don't need any new slippers / a new cardigan / new coat etc.'

This was rightly taken to mean that she wanted exactly what she had said she didn't want.

I could never get round the pointlessness of it. Why couldn't she just tell us what she wanted?

I know exactly what my family want and like,so no need to ask.

My Mum asked for a pale pink jumper for Christmas and I bought her exactly that. 3 years later she regifted it to me as my unasked-for Christmas present, having seemingly forgotten it had come from me in the first place. I was too polite to say anything.

One thing I have learned is to choose my own jewellery, give it back to my husband who can then give it to me for a present. Otherwise the stuff remains unworn and unloved , ghastly stuff. With friends, however, I would never do that !

Good idea Granny23. Wish we'd thought if that. They just went to a charity shop.

Aveline My MiL was exactly the same. I bundled all the presents up (did not want her then student DGDs to see that their carefully chosen and paid from their meagre money) gifts had been treated this way. I donated them all to the local pensioners group for raffle/Bingo prizes. They were delighted to have such lovely things.

I remember clearing my MiL's flat after she died and finding all our carefully chosen presents at the back of a cupboard. Oh well. It was the thought that counted I suppose.

I love it Glorianny
Since DH died I have found decision making, about anything, really hard so to be asked what I want for a present or for dinner is plain cruel. So I am afraid I am one of those people Nanamar

I was washing up at DM's years ago and asked for an apron. There's one in the drawer said she. I pulled out one which I had made for her. She had obviously forgotten and told me I should take it as she never wore it - someone had given it to her apparently and she didn't remember who!!!

I am like this as I genuinely don’t want anything for birthday etc, don’t mind what I watch on to etc. However, I don’t act disappointed.
My DH always has a list and the tv remote - fine by me!
I do decide what we eat though!

I don’t really see why if someone is going to buy me a gift for my birthday that I should choose. It should be a pleasant surprise or don’t bother a card will do thanks.

I am afraid anyone who tried that on me would get short shrift. I would tell them, nicely, that they had had an opportunity to choose, chose not to do so, so they have no right to complain if what some one else chooses is not to their liking.

I dont really like organising my own presents, it just feels like another job. I quite like the people who are buying me a present to do that job.

Well my mother was an expert at this. She would tell you that she wasn't bothered and didn't mind so you would guess and do something and then she would tell you exactly what was wrong with what you decided. Fortunately she was delightful in other ways and so we just treated it as a bit of a joke and even as we decided something would guess what she would find wrong with it.

I think it is sometimes a test to find out a) how well do you know me? B) how much am I worth? C) how much effort have you put in.
My mother in law was an expert in this. She’d always say in a pitiful voice that she didn’t expect anything, but woe betide you if you didn’t come up to her expectations. I think she enjoyed bitching about each of her five daughter in laws to the others. She got more enjoyment out of the slagging off than any present she got.

When asked I tell my husband there is nothing I want. Disappointingly that is what I get.

I like your style grumppa

Sometimes I just don't know what I want! I don't need anything in particular for birthday or Christmas. DD is very good at coming up with good presents that I'd never even have thought of.

The only possible answer is You look marvellous in everything, darling.

Was it Victoria Wood who said that husbands always answer Yes to 'Do I look OK in this?', if answering No risks being made to look at 4 alternatives.