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(27 Posts)
0rangeKT Mon 30-May-22 08:46:26

So this is what’s keeping me awake just now. My DH and I are on second marriages and have grown up children who think we are richer than we are e.g. DH’s son needed £700 towards car repairs and DHD &250 last mont. My DD lives in a house that I paid for and put in DD and my name (joint tenants) and she pays me back £400 per month. Yesterday my DD announced that she plans to give up her job and go travelling with her BF for a year. Obviously I don’t want to stand in the way of her dreams and equally I can’t afford to be without the payment she makes. DH and I are both still working and wld love to retire and can’t afford to yet … although if I had not bought house DD lives in we cld stop work tomorrow!

Oreo Wed 04-Oct-23 17:12:10

MerylStreep

I think the problem is sorted.
OP posted *May 2022*

Doh! Just seen this, my pearls of wisdom all wasted😁

Oreo Wed 04-Oct-23 17:10:22

Smileless2012

Think very carefully before getting a tenant Orange if you'll want the house back in a years time for your D as it's very difficult to get a tenant to leave, who wants to stay.

I agree. Plus you can’t let a house with all your DD’s furniture and stuff in it!
I think you’ll have to allow it, but make sure she knows it’s for one year only and then home and work and regular payments.
If you don’t mind my saying so, I think you should have had the house in your name only.

Dinahmo Wed 04-Oct-23 15:05:50

I remember when my parents said no to my request for a loan.
I'd just renewed my rail season ticket and then found a flat to move into. I needed the money for a deposit and asked if they would lend it to me until I obtained the refund on the ticket.

I think that they were quite right.

In later years they did lend me half the money for the deposit on our first half. By then my GM had died and my father had inherited everything so I knew he had plenty of money in the bank. That was paid back.

MerylStreep Wed 04-Oct-23 13:40:40

I think the problem is sorted.
OP posted May 2022

M0nica Wed 04-Oct-23 13:30:57

If you let the flat out out, take from the rent the amount she pays and the amount you contribute then offer her half of any money left as a contrivution to her gap year.

yes, on occasion tenants are difficult to remove but I rneted out a flat for 6 years on clear 1 year tenancy agreements and I never had a problem.

Jaxjacky Wed 04-Oct-23 12:51:52

Reported

Alexander133 Wed 04-Oct-23 12:19:12

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

LauraNorderr Mon 30-May-22 11:55:34

I’m with DerbyshireLass and NotSpaghetti. Best to undo the whole arrangement and both start again with a bit of profit. Let’s hope your daughter agrees as she is a joint owner.
Good luck.

NotSpaghetti Mon 30-May-22 11:43:30

I would also suggest you sell and share the profit. She may well be pleased to have some cash available. Then on her return she will automatically not be beholden to you and you will be able to retire a little sooner.
Win-win!
Good luck.

Smileless2012 Mon 30-May-22 11:33:08

That's a great idea GSM.

DerbyshireLass Mon 30-May-22 11:28:18

Here's a third option.

Property prices have rocketed. Why not sell up, give some of
The profits to your daughter to use a deposit and then free up some capital for your retirement.

Everybody wins. Younger to retire. You daughter gets her independence and a cracking start to adult life.

I too wonder even consider a tenant.

Callistemon21 Mon 30-May-22 10:52:38

OrangeKT

You may get more replies if you ask GNHQ to put this under a different heading (Relationships, Ask a Gran or AIBU?) as many posters might avoid News and Politics threads
?

Redhead56 Mon 30-May-22 10:33:00

I posted too early your daughter is giving up her job and travelling what is going to fund this arrangement. You say you are on joint tenants could she not pay you her part of the tenancy?
You and your husband have worked all your life. It is now time to get some of it back if you want to retire you should be able too. What does your husband think he obviously has an opinion.

0rangeKT Mon 30-May-22 10:28:19

Thank you ?

Redhead56 Mon 30-May-22 10:25:08

Renting out is the last thing I would consider based our experience of renting out our second home.
Tell your daughter you will have to consider putting it on the market. While she has her ‘gap year’ with the boyfriend. It might help her grow up and realise bank of mum and dad are finally closed.

Visgir1 Mon 30-May-22 10:24:21

Rent it out through an Estate agent they will charge but its stress free, you will get far more than the £400 use the capital if you still have one to pay of a Mortgage. I know several people who have done this.
You can do 6 months? They will advise.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 30-May-22 10:13:20

I agree with Smileless. However in the circumstances that would be more the daughter’s problem in practical terms. As a joint owner she has to agree to any letting, as does the lender if you have a mortgage on the house. She may not agree. Not an arrangement anyone should ‘stumble into’. All the AC here need to grow up, learn what responsibility is and support themselves. Easier said than done I know but a good start would be saying No when they ask for money.

MaizieD Mon 30-May-22 09:03:59

0rangeKT

Gransnet admin … I think I have popped this post in the wrong forum …. It’s my first attempt. Pls may you move it to chat? Thank you ?

You need to use the 'report' function. Just report your post and ask the moderators to move your thread to chat, or wherever appropriate.

No use asking in a post like this, the mods don't read threads.

Smileless2012 Mon 30-May-22 09:02:25

Think very carefully before getting a tenant Orange if you'll want the house back in a years time for your D as it's very difficult to get a tenant to leave, who wants to stay.

Cabbie21 Mon 30-May-22 08:58:30

The time has come for her to grow up and face reality. Time for a conversation with a firm outcome, I’d say.

0rangeKT Mon 30-May-22 08:57:49

Yes VR, you are right … if I was renting the property the rent wld be more. I think she was hoping for a repayment holiday. The problem is we stumbled into the arrangement without contracting properly …..

0rangeKT Mon 30-May-22 08:55:14

Thank you FF … it’s so hard for me to balance tough love with desire to maintain good relationship. She is my only child.

vegansrock Mon 30-May-22 08:54:30

You should rent out the house for a year. You’d no doubt get more than £400 a month. - or ask if she’s going to keep up the payments whilst she’s away?

0rangeKT Mon 30-May-22 08:53:34

Gransnet admin … I think I have popped this post in the wrong forum …. It’s my first attempt. Pls may you move it to chat? Thank you ?

FlexibleFriend Mon 30-May-22 08:51:01

I'd tell her that I would have to let the house out, put it with a letting agent and start showing people around before she goes. Clearly she thinks she's just a tenant so that's how I'd treat her.