why do we say 'passed'?

I always say died. Sadly as a nurse I had to tell relatives when someone had died. It was what we said to ensure there was no misunderstanding. Passed on or similar could be understood as moved somewhere else like another ward. It's important to be clear.

This is an American euphemism which has now become extremely common here. I hate it because it implies a belief in the afterlife (the person is ‘passing over’ to the ‘other side’) and I’m pretty sure the majority of people who say ‘passed’ or ‘passed away’ do not hold that belief. I actually banned its use at the recent funeral of my son and refused to have the word on the order of service.
It’s a lost battle, I fear - look at the death announcements in our local paper and the word ‘died’ just never appears now.

I’m with you MissA. As I said up thread, to protect oneself or others. I’m afraid you’ll have to carry on cringing Aonk.

Well, you have that very wrong.
I never shy away from speaking about things as they are, in all their gruesome glory.

I sometimes feel the need to protect my wellbeing though.
If the word "dead" is going to plummet me into despair, then I won't use it about my "loss".
If others don't like it, I'm afraid they'll have to lump it.

The expression “passed away” and its variations make me cringe. I associate them with a certain kind of person. Someone who is afraid of using direct expressions and who uses evasive language at difficult times. Someone who would be unable to discuss an embarrassing ailment with their doctor.

ixion

Never use the phrase 'moved on', especially in the hospital setting. A Ward Sister friend was then asked by the uncomprehending family, 'well, which ward have you moved him to?
?

Tbh, I’d be pretty appalled if any health care professional used a euphemism. I used to correct my student nurses very promptly if they said that a patient had done anything other than die.

Never use the phrase 'moved on', especially in the hospital setting. A Ward Sister friend was then asked by the uncomprehending family, 'well, which ward have you moved him to?
?

Thankyou Elegran for the explanation!
I have never been comfortable with passed or passed away but I found myself using it recently. It'll be that it's so common now.
Sorry for your loss is a bit weird too.
However language is forever evolving so I'm not condemning anyone for their words of condolence.
Thank you.

Does it really matter as long as they acknowledge it? I know it can be hard to do but it hurts more when people don’t say anything.

OH dear easybee ?
I wonder why we are so scared about the mention of death and dying that we have to disguise it in euphemisms?
Surely it’s part of life’s cycle and the natural order of things.

It's pretty common usage here to say someone has passed away.
We also use died. I'm just trying to think how they are used.

I think if someone has died that was expected to die, as in very old or sick for a long time, we used passed away. If someone died suddenly or unexpectantly, died is used. So using 'passed away' is a gentler form of a life ending (if that makes any sense).

Ouch!
That must have been a bit awkward!

I try to say, 'I was sorry to hear of the death of your....husband, friend, partner' after once saying 'sorry for the loss of your ex-husband' to which the response was: 'he's no loss to me.'

Well said Nannee.
Of course we say “Sorry for your loss” what else can you say?

Passed wind is the first thing that comes to my mind.
I prefer passed away.

I always say died or dead. DH , if he is told someone has ‘passed’ will say “passed what” under his breath.

I prefer died.

On another level there is always the Monty Python parrot sketch.

My daughter gently told her children that their dog would not be coming home.
“Is he dead?” one asked.

Each one of us will use whichever term makes us feel comfortable. It really is of no importance.

‘Passed away’ to be honest to soften the blow of the word ‘died’ when telling somebody who obviously didn’t know.

Oh good lord Anniebach,is that really what people say ?.
I can`t think of anything worse.
Surely sleeping babies wake for a feed.
Terrible thing to say imo.

A still birth is now - a sleeping baby

AGAA4 I think you are right where children are concerned. People shy away from honest explanations with children, and I know this can be very sensitive, but using euphemisms such as passed away, gone to sleep, can be very confusing, and even frightening for a child.
Children, if prepared well, can often cope with honest explanations better than we think.

I always say 'died' and 'dead'. I have told my family if they use any euphamism for death and dying when talking about my death, I will come back and ruin their sleep.

I use either word, each to their own. Bought back memories Elegran, my school friends and I auditioned for a tv show 'Anything you Can do' and we sung 'Swing low, sweet chariot'. Very badly! I had it at my husband's funeral.