why do we say 'passed'?

This thread goes to show that everyone is different.
Not right or wrong - just different.

I once had a telephone conversation with my mum, telling me that someone had died, she then said, “well, not died, you know, they've passed away.”

I told her that I thought she was right the first time but she didn’t like the word ‘died’.

I absolutely hate ‘sorry for your loss’. I didn’t lose my husband, I didn’t leave him on a train or drop him in the street. He died.

Depending on the age of the person who has died.
If elderly i tend to say passed away,other people i tend to say they have died,if it`s someone i don`t really know i say that person is dead.
Looking at this in writing i think i shall change a little,i sound rather harsh.

The historical reason for "passed" being connected with dying is this -

"Passed over" refers to the religious concept of passing over the boundary between this life and the next. Rivers feature often as this boundary.

In the ancient world, it was the river Styx. Small coins were placed on the dead persons eyes, so that they would have money to pay the ferryman who took them across the Styx. If they had no money to pay their fare, they would be stuck for ever, neither in this world nor safely in the next. Once they had passed over the river, they couldn't return, and no-one could follow them until they too died.

There is a Negro Spiritual that goes.

"One more river, and that's the river of Jordan.
One more river.
One more river to cross"

Then there is "Swing low, sweet chariot" -
"I looked over Jordan and what do I see
(Coming for to carry me home)
A band of angels coming after me
Coming for to carry me home"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOe8BHDxv2g

Once over the river Jordan, the dying person would be carried to heaven by the angels. They would have passed over (or passed on) from this earth to another reality.

The first Americans took with them many expressions which are no longer common here, but some of them are coming back into use, as Americanisms become more universal. "Passed" without the "over" or "on" is just a shortened form.

Surely it's a personal thing in how someone addresses the subject. For my mum I say she has gone 'home' or to an eldely neighbour who has forgotten, I say that my mum isn't here anymore, i never use the word passed, no idea why, I just dont use it, nor dead that is cold and heartless to me, despite the fact the person is infact dead!

It isn't set in stone as to how it should be explained, each to their own I say...

I remember the term "slipped away" being used when I was a child. I found it confusing as there was ice on the ground at the time.
I prefer to say died as no confusion.

It's the passing from one state to another, as in from life to death, perfectly acceptable grammatical form and not at all twee.

As when people say "Sorry you lost your...." it's not an expression of lost location but of physical and emotional loss of a loved one, again a perfectly correct grammatical term.

As Anniebach says it's personal choice and, as a breaved person, I'm just glad my bereavement is acknowledged in whatever form it takes.

I always say died.

Bit harsh there Septimia. Not everyone is able to afford a cemetery plot etc or the deceased may have specified cremation.

I remember " called to higher service" as well Mrseggy from my strict methodist upbringing.

Gone home is what my mum used to say when something was worn out and not serviceable any more.
Same thing, I suppose.

I say died! I don’t like the expression gone home.

Who knows the answer to that?

I say whatever o feel like at the time; sometimes passed away, sometimes died.

Why not? Apart from the fact that it makes people feel like "screaming', apparently.

I would usually say ‘died’, but when my MIL died, I used the expression passed away as that is literally what she did! Never was the phrase more appropriate.

I am another in the died and dead camp. I may pass somebody in the street and if they have passed, to where have they passed?

I'm another one who would never say "passed" and would only very reluctantly use "passed away". People die.

Equally, I'm unlikely to say "Sorry for your loss" - it sounds like you've mislaid your luggage! I would say "sorry to hear about [insert person's name]".

Once upon a time people tended to die at home amongst the family. Now we seem to be too delicate to consider death as normal and shovel the deceased off to some anonymous crematorium so that we don't have to think about it all.

It’s a personal choice

“He is a partaken of glory at present, Master Copperfield,” said Uriah Heep.

The non conformist chapel I used to attend used the expression "called to higher service".

I’m a humanist and couldn’t bring myself to say “passed” rather than “died”. I do however appreciate some may not like the finality of “died”, especially if they believe in an afterlife that some may have passed on to.
I also think it’s a symptom of how we regard death in modern society, where death is not openly discussed without being considered morbid, so less direct terms such as “lost” or “passed on” are used.
Years ago death was very much part of daily life.

My Grandmother told me someone we knew had ,"cocked his toes up". She also used ,"fell off his perch",as another expression of death.
Those were the days!

My husband's very Devonian aunt used to say 'gone on' which always amused me. Has to be said with the right accent. The very religious uncle on the other side was 'gone to glory'. I can't bear passed, can just about tolerate passed away. I'm in the dead and died camp.

Died is the one I use.

I don’t use the word passed but I’m a bit uncomfortable with using the word died or dead it’s someone recently bereaved.
I tend to stick with I’m sorry for your loss. Not in the sense of their partner being mislaid but as in the sense of the loss of companionship the loss of their loved one.

“Gone to glory”