Worried about going abroad because of leaving my dog

You really need to address your anxiety issues Secretsquirrel as they are being transmitted to your little dog. Neither of you should be so co-dependent. Unless you get sone help with this nothing will change.
I have two rescue dogs at the moment and they are in kennels with the cat until we return from USA. I think there has to be some balance in a life with pets so we all can be happy. Our animals restrict us to some extent if we plan days out as we never leave them for more than four hours. If necessary we have friends who will call in and check they are ok etc.

OK. Well we're all different. I would always put my children and grandchildren before myself. Hey ho.

Kate1949

The OP was a wind-up. Nobody would consider putting their dog before their daughter and new grandchild. At least I hope not.

They are not putting their dog first, they are putting themselves first. Stress and anxiety will make this a miserable time if they are worrying. It's only for three months, what's the big deal?

Thank you MayBee70. He’s a smashing dog. His mum is a cocker spaniel x Jack Russell and his dad a toy poodle (tho I can’t see where the poodle is!). We just fell in love with his face and he chose us when we went to view.

GSM and BB - He’s not a ‘designer’ dog - I’m always being asked what breed he is and that’s what he is. His ‘outfit’ if you can call a hat, bandana and bow tie an outfit, was just to celebrate his special day and he loved all the fuss and attention. Other than that, he a coat when it’s really cold (winter) and we take him out.

The OP was a wind-up. Nobody would consider putting their dog before their daughter and new grandchild. At least I hope not.

I thinks it’s a really lovely dog. Looks more wire haired than most doodle dogs. I’m sure he doesn’t wear his birthday suit very often. Having had whippets for many years I’m quite used to seeing clothed dogs. In fact if it’s cold or wet my brain sometimes can’t comprehend seeing dogs not wearing rain gear. Which I know is daft because when I had spaniels I never dreamed of putting coats on them!

have never heard of such a hybrid. And I hate seeing dogs dressed up I totally agree GSM I hate seeing dogs dressed up too It’s a fancy name for a lovely mongrel or crossbreed looks a smashing dog minus it’s birthday suit

You are mixing so many issues in one post

1. Please look for a solution for your anxiety if you haven't done so yet.
Depending on your dog is not a solution

2. Your dog's anxiety also needs attention - whether it is a reflection of your own or his/her own

You cannot limit your life like this
Your dog will be ok with your dh

3. Waiting to meet your gc for 3 months is not a huge amount of time.
A 2 week visit is also ok to be without your dog

Please look for help, for you and your dog, now

The baby is not yet here for many months and there is no need to worry this much about logistics this early

I love my dogs, they’re family but my grandchildren are above them in any pecking order
Having said that, it sounds as though your dog needs help in managing her anxiety. That means a vet check and recommendation fir a good behaviourist. Separation anxiety can be lessened and managed.
Friends use a Trusted House Sitters. My dogs either Board with a dog trainer who knows them and only has my two or they go into the local kennels that has only ten dogs in individual spaces, tv, radio, enclosed field, receive games etc. expensive options but they work for us
I’d want to visit my daughter. I’d want my dogs to be able to cope with change

I have never heard of such a hybrid. And I hate seeing dogs dressed up. Very humiliating.

We’ve got a cockerjackapoo whose just celebrated his 1st birthday. He is totally devoted to me - so much so that he refused to go for a walk with DH unless I’m there. He’d goes out the door with DH and about 25 yards before he realised I’m not there and then digs his heels in or drags DH back home!
I went away with DiL and grandchild for 4 days and we were worried how Harvey would be. I needn’t have worried - he was absolutely fine, ate and drank AND DH was finally able to take him for walks on his own! Since I’ve come back he’s been fine and will now go out with either of us whether we take him separately or together. The decision is yours, but I just wanted to share my experience being as it was only last month. Good luck with what you decide to do. Photo of my scrummy boy in his birthday suit! ?

Might be an Idea to get a trainer in to help with your dog's separation anxiety. I don't think that it would be fair to leave your dig at the moment. However if you can wean her off her dependence then it would help all round.

Look for a 5* kennel near you. Start by leaving dog for a day, then do an overnight stay. Ask the kennel staff to tell you how it goes. Longer stays will be fine. Dog will be safe, well looked after. Have no fear! We put our dog in the local kennel 1x a month so she’s used to a stay. Also goes in for a week while we go abroad once or twice a year- no problem.
When you return all will be back to normal. Well run kennels are safe, dog will be pleased to see you when back - might have even enjoyed their holiday

There is a specialist King Charles boarding home called Charlie’s Ark in Amber Valley. They might know of similar places near to you. But if you join a King Charles Facebook page you will be able to speak with other owners that share your concerns and could help you. Also winter time might make it difficult to get a house sitter.

I’m not sure that your daughter really needs you if she has a partner with her. Might she just have you to worry about as well as everything else that’s happening, especially if you suffer from anxiety. I turned down a holiday in Australia because my last dog had been ill and I didn’t want to leave her in kennels for 3 weeks. Could you not arrange it so that if you needed to be with your daughter you could leave your dog with your husband and fly out. What does your daughter want? Has she asked you to be with her? Some breeds have specific holiday swap sites; might be worth looking on Facebook. Taking the dog with you is out of the question imo. I was happy to leave previous dogs in kennels but the one time I arranged for someone to come to my house twice a day to check/walk my dogs one of them developed pyometra and nearly died so I would never do that again. I think you need a series of plans. But unless your daughter desperately wants you to go there I’d just try to make arrangements to go there on your own if (and I hope this doesn’t happen) something goes wrong. My current dog is a bit of a lockdown dog so I have no plans to go anywhere without her.

Here's a link to one website
Others may be available

www.homesitters.co.uk/dog-sitting/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwheyUBhD-ARIsAHJNM-N3rhqFQrfX-fPn58qnXihBhrzDZFx7m3HBtrboHozr2OhipPC-QPEaAhGmEALw_wcB

I’m sorry, I don’t agree with some of the other advice, If my daughter needed me I would always put her above my dog, much as I love him.
Me too

There are registered dogminders who might have him, rather than him go into kennels.
You'd have to introduce the dog to the person and let him spend some time there to make sure he'd be happy when you're away.

Otherwise book a dog-loving house sitter.

Just to add, it's not about putting your dog first, it's about putting yourself first!

This is just not worth the stress and anxiety involved. Stick it out for three months with video calls and then enjoy your grandchild!

I agree with casdon and bluebelle. How will your dd feel if she and the much awaited baby are placed second after your dog. If you are going on your own your dh or whoever looks after the dog will manage.
Try not to overthink this. Go and enjoy your new gc, or of course don’t go, it’s up to you. Have you talked to your dd about this?

It’s really not healthy for either of you to be so dependant on the other you say you are a nervous person so the dog has picked up on your nerves and ran with it
I agree with Casdon leave the dog in good care of your husband or if he’s going with you another family member the dog will be in her usual surroundings while you go to see the baby or if you can’t do this then wait till the baby arrives home those of us with overseas grandchildren often don’t see them the first time for months or more it’s not always possible to be there at the beginning

I’m sorry, I don’t agree with some of the other advice, If my daughter needed me I would always put her above my dog, much as I love him. Having a baby after trying for so long is a massive thing for her and her husband, and I’m not sure she’ll ever totally forgive you if you put the dog before her, which is how it will feel to her.

I think you’ll have to bite the bullet and leave the dog with either your husband, or a trusted friend or family member. Start slowly before you need to leave her long term, by leaving her for a few hours, then all day. She will be fine, they are resilient creatures

Maybe a house sitter? There are various websites with details of house sitters.

I've been thinking what to do with two blind dogs one of which is diabetic and needs twice daily injections at regular intervals. I may have found someone who has previously worked with horses and is used to giving injections. I plan to visit her in a week or so to check her out. We only want to go away for a few days, just 2 or 3 nights as we'd really like a change of scene. We both enjoy visiting cities and have been able to that since covid.

I hope the OP manages to work something out.

If you have anxiety already it might just be best to stay home. Spend the summer months relaxing and looking forward to seeing the baby. I think our pets take on our anxiety our girl does especially since we lost our Jack Russell.
The months will fly by and you will be in a good frame of mind when your family return.

I completely understand. We have always had rescue dogs, bad pasts and we and their familiar surroundings and routines are their security. We don’t take, and don’t miss, holidays. Small price to pay. Couldn’t enjoy myself and I don’t think OP would by the sound of it. As someone else said, three months goes quickly.