Your mothers' take on motherhood.

My mum told me she was in the Royal Navy for the second time after her first marriage failed when she discovered she was pregnant with me in 1949 to a handsome young chap 5 years her junior..... She was offered termination, fostering or adoption by an RN welfare officer which impressed me no end, especially as she opted to keep me. Part of her reason was that my dad always said he had very much wanted to have a child with her. The other reason was she'd been told she would never have children as she'd had peritonitis and nearly died during her first term of RN service.... Because of post operative adhesions etc she was in painful labour for 36 hours. Not surprisingly, it was 11 years before she had another child whose birth was equally difficult.... She also told me that, despite having tiny breasts - dad always said she just needed a couple of bits of Elastoplast - she had produced enough milk to feed the poorly babies on the maternity ward as well as me!...

I remember after my c section pleading to go to the nicu to see my baby in the recovery room. It was six hours before I saw her. With the second four days after terrible complications that nearly killed us both. This was 2014!!!! I was in intensive care so was she, born very early and only 2 lb. I had my last in 2020. None of this bed rest for days. Your up and at it home before you know it. Hours after your second and only a day for your first. C sections 2-3 days. It’s no wonder there’s so much pnd. You even have to queue up for meals in labour or hours after. No passing of the baby by the midwife following a C-section you get up or they are left to cry. It’s awful. I had sections where I was cut navel to pubis and above the pubis bone so an upside down T. Still no help Try standing a few hours after surgery with all those staples in. Let alone discovering you’ve no tummy button anymore ?

It was like having a grapefruit such in your foofoo
She lied
She was a crap mother though

Wasn't my Mum who reminded me about when I was born it was my Dad. He had to trek through a field of 3 feet of snow to get to the Drs house as he was needed (no idea why) and worst of all the Dr attending cost a whole two shillings - 10p nowadays!

I was born in a nursing home in Brimingham during the war. My mother had to stay in the home for 10 days afterwards as she developed puerperal fever. I'm not sure how she paid for the nursing home as my parents had no money. There must have been some kind of assistance available either through the government or some sort of insurance payments. I never asked about this.
According to my mother I was overdue, "took a long time coming" and finally arrived at 11.30pm. She only ever spoke briefly about it but I think she had a tough experience - no wonder I'm an only child.

I arrived on and according to my 'poor mum' what was to be one of the hottest (phew)May bank holidays on record.

sodapop

Kate1949

Blimey. Some of you had conversations with your mothers?

No conversation here either Kate1949 my mother never explained any of the facts to me apart from saying " don't bring trouble to this house"
In her defence I was adopted when she was 50 so her views were old fashioned and of course she had not experienced childbirth herself.
I did manage to find out the facts for myself though.

I was told nothing about anything by my mother. If it had anything whatever to do with ‘down there’ it was a taboo subject. I longed to know how birth took place and imagined a tummy must split open to expel the baby. I also wanted to know what periods were about and what was the ‘Act’ sternly forbidden out of wedlock in RC booklets at the back of the church. I found out when I was 20 and had a baby who was given up for adoption in the early 60s unknown to my parents and affected the rest of my life with a deep sadness.
Ironically, when she hit her late 80s Mother often alluded to her sex life.

All my mum told me was that I was born in The Royal Free Hospital, London and it cost one shilling and sixpence to have me delivered.

My elder sister was born in hospital, whilst my mum was still evacuated to Somerset. I was born in hospital too as there were expected rhesus problems, the hospital had the highest infant mortality rate in the country at the time but 74 years later I'm still here. My younger brother was also born in hospital as Mum was expecting twins but sadly due to the rhesus problems his twin was born dead. All 4 of mine were born in hospital without the benefit of pain relief - very quick easy labours - so when I recently broke my hip and the paramedics offered me gas and air I took the opportunity to try it. Great stuff!!!

No not really. I just remember her telling me about everyone running around to find my dad when she went into labour.

I was born in a nursing home between VE day and VJ day. My grandfather was a gynaecologist and he attended the birth. It was going to be his birthday the next day. I was his first grandchild and he really wanted me to be born on his birthday. My mother says I was born at about 11.30 pm but my birth was recorded as having happened after midnight. So my grandfather and I did use to share our birthday!

These posts are really interesting.
As an adopted child, this didn’t ever get discussed with my mom, as she never gave birth to me.
But this post has made me realise that she never told the story of how she and my dad became my parents. I think years ago, things just weren’t discussed. But I would have appreciated knowing all the details.

As her one attempt at giving me advice re contraception, just before I got married, my mother informed me that I was an unwanted surprise as she had been 'taking something' to prevent pregnancy. (It seems to have worked well for a long time as I was born 10 years after my brother.)

I suppose I had kind of known that. I was cared for, but my great aunt lived with us and she looked after me, whilst mother continued working. The only memory of her when I was a young child is sitting on her knee and being taught to read ( age 3 - 4), - not cuddled. At 77, tears well up as I recall this.

My mother had me at home, n London. Far away from close family. She had two doctors and an ambulance standing outside as it was a difficult 14 hour Labour and forceps delivery.
One of my grandmothers in the 1930’s, pre NHS, had chloroform for all 5 of her children. She was totally out of it and didn’t feel a thing. A doctor attended - it was 5 Guineas a time.
I had my son very sharpish - 40 minute labour with hubby there. I reckon it was quick because I was fit and swam everyday.
One of my great grandmothers went out to labouring women in the days of pre NHS. They tried to persuade her to train as a midwife but I think she didn’t have the confidence.

Only born in a nursing home, stayed 10 days. That's it sadly.

Mum went to a private maternity hospital, although they could ill afford it. She says she was so drugged up she couldn't remember my birth. Five years later she needed a repair operation and i suspect it was because she couldn't respond to the contractions during labour.

My gran was brought up by foster parents and knew nothing about the actual childbirth process till she was in labour! She said to the midwife "Please could you tell me how the baby's going to come out?"
The midwife replied " Same way it went in, love!"

Mom didn't say very much about my birth, only that it took awhile. She said even less about how you would get in that predicament. I have to laugh when I think about it. Mom had no advice for me, but she did repeat what my grandmother said about pregnancies which was, "You'll feel worse before you feel better". My MIL, however, was happy to tell me every detail of my husband's birth. She was in labor 22 hours. It was agony all the way. It was the worst experience she ever had. She chuckled all the way through the description and happily repeated it every 15 minutes whenever we had occasion to be together before I gave birth to my first child. The nurses said I had a ways to go (light labor from 11:00am until 10:00pm, then nothing), and didn't I want my husband to go home and rest? After all, there is no point in him being there when he could be at home. I wasn't sure at all about that, but I said okay. They left me alone and made it rather clear that I shouldn't call them unless I really needed them. Labor started in again about 1:00 a.m. I remember calling a couple of times and they came to the door as far as I can remember. The last time I remember telling them that I really thought things were imminent. Of course, they had told me during the course of all this that I really didn't know what I was talking about. The last time I called them (the third time in maybe 5 hours), they finally came in and examined me, and then all was a flurry and flap and banging of the bed down the hall toward the delivery room. My first son was born around 5:00am. I showered, washed, dried, set my hair, put on my makeup, and was out at the nurses' station asking for change for the Coke machine at around 8:30 in the morning. Pretty fortunate, I think.

I don't know anything about mine but i remember my brothers, she said "urgh isn't he ugly" and wouldnt hold him. I thought he was beautiful. I didnt see a picture of myself as a baby until i was 40, I was told they didnt exist.

That's it..

I have told mine their birth stories, especially the funny or embarassing bits. Like being in full blown labour, being given a bed pan beecause they wouldn't risk me having a baby in the loo, and shouting, "how am i supposed to manage that?!?“ before throwing it on the floor and just squatting there like some sort of semi labour deranged cave woman.

That was the easiest birth too

I think childbirth has actually gone backwards in recent years as mothers and babies are rushed home far too quickly and there are lots of issues that can occur in the first few days.

My babies were born in the 1980s and we had 5 days in hospital if bottle feeding, 6 days if breast feeding and 10 days after a C section.
I thoroughly enjoyed each stay and the sense of community and support from the other new mums and the ward staff. We had time to get to know our newborn and get feeding established. We were waited on hand and foot with meals and drinks. We were sheltered from too many visitors. Bliss ?

It was winter 1946 meant to say.

My Mum’s first baby was born in 194She like a PP said she had no idea how the baby would come out. That baby died at 2 weeks old of pneumonia. Mum thought she just caught it, but I wonder if it could be connected to the birth.It was

Kate1949

Blimey. Some of you had conversations with your mothers?

No conversation here either Kate1949 my mother never explained any of the facts to me apart from saying " don't bring trouble to this house"
In her defence I was adopted when she was 50 so her views were old fashioned and of course she had not experienced childbirth herself.
I did manage to find out the facts for myself though.

Yes FloraDora I'm so glad my granny and aunt were with my Mum. I had a very happy childhood. My brother was born when I was 6 and Mum had married. Children were not allowed to visit and the nurse held him up at the window for me to see. I remember thinking he looked like a kitten!

ElaineI

I was born in a different town as my mother was unmarried and sent to a mother and baby home. I was to be adopted and she had to provide a layette for me. She was in labour for 3 days (she says) and I was covered in green stuff which meant I was in distress but not so recognised then. When my granny and aunt saw me they decided I would not be adopted so went home with my Mum.

In the 70s we fostered babies who were to be adopted getting them at a week old. The mother was supposed to provide a small box of clothes for their babies. Some were lovely some were very sad little offerings. You were lucky you were taken home so many of the babies we had could not be kept by their mums as the father had forbidden it . This happened to even well educated middle class mothers.