How life has changed

Let us hope that the pendulum will drift to the middle at some point.

A lot of the discussions on Mumsnet are based on the idea that if you want to climb the career ladder you need to get straight back to work; and also that you need to keep up career wise in order to have some financial independence, should your marriage go tits up. Often when posters are saying they want to stay at home and look after the children they are counselled against that as they would be vulnerable if they found themselves single. Seems a bit pessimistic.

I don't think women's lib intended to create a situation where many mothers who would prefer to stay at home with the children would be forced, through economic necessity, to remain working, with ever lengthening commutes and working hours.
But I know of several young women who absolutely hate having to leave their children with minders in order to spend all day doing a job which holds little interest for them.
Of course years ago there were women who struggled with being at home all day and would have been much happier remaining at work.
It seems impossible to get the right balance.

I do feel sorry for the young couples today . I also think they set out with high expectations. No Grandma's spare carpet or aunties curtains everything has to be brand spanking new.
I always worked and my DH often had to work weekends for no extra pay, luckily I was a teacher so finished work quite early though I still had to pay a childminder to take the children to and from school. The one benefit I did have was the long school holidays.
I gave up promotion quite a few times and never moved to Headship because I knew it just would not let me have enough time with the children. The amount of record-keeping and new orders to read and implement just seem to grow by the month. '
I was burned out and took early retirement and have NEVER been near a school again.
Never been away for a weekend or week with a girlfriend which seems to keep a lot of my friends going.I also got little or no help from MIL and my parents helped when they could but lived hundreds of miles away.
Women's Lib that we all wanted in the late '60s and 70's never came my way.
Good luck to the women who are trying to implement it now.

I agree most married women without children were working by the 80's but for my mum's group, living semi rurally, most of us were still at home, childcare except amongst ourselves was impossible and nurseries non existent. The first mum I knew went back to teaching one day a week and then somebody got a job in the local library and her children were left to get on with it, we were all self righteous about it at the time, oh dear.
Now both DD's have worked full time for years and DIL put the children into nursery part of the week when they were very small. I am in two minds about it all but they can't live on one salary.

I feel for them. It’s really very hard times. Two salaries required to buy a home and to raise a family as well, it probably does help to have extended family assistance to take the strain. How many have this.

I don't think those old series were realistic. Most people didn't start wearing smart suits and high heels to work until the 80s and surely everyone would take off the heels and jacket when they got home. Ever Decreasing Circles was 80s and I didn't know anyone who was just a housewife then.

It is true that women return to full time work much sooner after children now than they did then but I don't think either of those examples really happened.

I may not have worded my post well Vintage, I am agreeing with you. Young mums have to work very hard and must be frazzled. They are pretty amazing.

My daughter has a full time job, partner and 2 children , she has just joined a scheme to have a 5 day menu sent each week.

You cannot have it all - end of.

I go on Mumsnet now and again and feel unsure what women have gained. OK, education and careers opportunities are vastly increased - but at what cost?

Some of these women are driven into the ground by it all, and they work for a pittance because of the child care costs. And they are tired and irritable when they do get to spend time with their children.

There are even threads where mothers are guilty about staying home and looking after their children rather than pursuing a career. How things have changed.

The great gains for women have come at an equally great cost to their quality of life - and that of their children.

I have no answer.

TillyTrotter

Young women today who have young children and careers are amazing.
I think there is a saying “to have it all you have to do it all” and they certainly do.

I dunno. A lot of them are dropping children to creches at 7am and not getting home until 7pm and then having to face getting dinner and cranky children to bed. I think life can be very hard for young parents nowadays.

And yet... yesterday in supermarket I was asked by a man where he could find something. He preceded his question with 'I'm a man and I shouldn't be doing the shopping but...'
So maybe thinking hasn't changed all that much underneath it all.

Young women today who have young children and careers are amazing.
I think there is a saying “to have it all you have to do it all” and they certainly do.

My elderly uncle was horrified with men changing the baby, pushing the pram and generally doing “women’s jobs”, while women were in work, “taking a man’s job”!