Workmen speaking to husband and not me !

When it comes to the home, I'm usually the one making the decision about what is going to happen. I usually aim for three quotes. I will always give the contract to the person who I feel best about and never to anyone who ignores me. They definitely lose by doing this.

Discrimination is always nasty, unkind and insulting. So I always try and avoid people who do no matter which direction it is in.

Maybe it comes from just not being at ease with women? Women are an unknown quantity for some men.
I hope my 3 DS are not like this.
Now I am on my own and have to deal with workmen by myself and they with me, I find them quite charming but very slow getting the work done.
I wonder if DH were still alive it wouldn't have taken a year to get my kitchen finished (and it still isn't)

I kid you not but we just received a quote from conservatory man and he’s addressed it to my husband and some other random woman’s name.
FfS ?

When I worked for the housing department years ago a tenant who was on the phone wouldn’t believe what I was telling them so I got a young lad, the office junior to tell them, and they were quite happy to believe him. This was over 50 years ago but it still sticks open my mind.

We had a financial advisor call at the house. He only spoke to my husband, and it was MY money I was going to invest. Let him go in the end - with nothing!

I am the "informed" one and picky too. Jobs in our house are usually organised by me, negotiated by me and I haven't really had this experience to be honest. BUT - my husband often says "oh, there's no point asking me about that, (she) has done all the research..." and I expect this is probably why.
Once the "business" side of things is over, my husband will often engage in long chats about things he is passionate about eg music or that I'm not interested in eg football. One decorator was chatting away over an hour which drove me to the kitchen!! ?

There was a time that all correspondence on our JOINT account and mortgage was addressed to DH exclusively. It was particularly infuriating when I was the sole breadwinner. I thought those days were over until my cheque book for our joint account which DH never uses -we have another which I never use - ran out of cheques..... My replacement cheque book arrived addressed to him and with his name on the front... I know I should complain formally but can't be bothered. I did mention it at the bank, though. Apparently we can both sign the cheques in it. So that's OK then.

Workmen will not ignore you if you act like a retired architect and get your husband to play the sidekick.

GN sometimes has a mind of its own, SecretSquirrel!

Sue Donim,
Omg no. How embarrassing. I couldn’t get it to post yesterday and every time I tried the post button wouldn’t work. I didn’t realise it actually had worked!
It’s not so much lost it for me as never had it.
I’ve not so much lost it as never so much had it! Technology hates me lol ?
Thanks for telling me. I wouldn’t have known about it lol

Some men only pay active attention to women when they are in the sexually active age group.
Quite well researched.
Most men try not to make this so obvious as you're example.

Some feel the subject matter is their domain, and as I have found out, nature has predisposed men to peacocking behaviour. Which leads to boasting to other men, and/or sucking in a beer belly (for example) to women.

This happened to me when getting quotes for a new kitchen. I approached a few companies and they agreed to come out and give a quote.
One appointment did seem late about 6.30 pm. They looked around quickly and then asked to see my husband . I said he was not in and would not be for another few hours. The obvious boss who was a WOMAN said they would not take it any further until they could talk to my husband.
I wrote a letter to the office complaining about her sexist behaviour etc,
I never got an answer and they certainly did not get the job.

It would not happen to me I wouldn’t let it I am very forward. If someone comes across to me as rude I don’t hesitate to tell them.
My husband (as lovely as he is) is clueless so I deal with workmen or anyone else who comes to ours to do a job.
Running our business he was a genius but on a practical level regarding house and home well that’s a different matter.

Did you mean to start this thread, OP? You started an identical one yesterday. If you’ve lost it (easy to do on GN!) here’s a link, with lots of replies.

www.gransnet.com/forums/chat/1311731-Sales-men-ignoring-me-and-speaking-to-my-husband

Yes, I've had this experience I've even had sneers for asking questions. The attitude of what would a woman know.
So demeaning. And so rude.
I too, now speak up.

My husband and I were tradespeople and ran a business together. I was the more experienced and qualified partner in the business but we noticed that a certain type of client was always happier talking to my husband and would treat me like the 'oily rag'. That client would almost always be a retired man.

I have always been 'one of the boys' and working in my trade dressed like a chap really, so can't say whether I've become more invisible as I've got older.....I've always liked passing under the radar so it suits me.

Yes happens all the time and makes my blood boil!!!

Yes I sympathise op, although now I am a stroppy old bag who won't put up with it! I just say "er excuse me," and put my point across and sometimes have been known to say "could you listen to me please?" or "can I just finish my sentence, you're talking over me!" It does usually work once they know you won't be ignored!

That would be infuriating.

I've had a tradesman look at my DH when answering my question, which is a bit irritating, but I've not been totally ignored like that.

I totally agree with everything you say. It's happened to me countless times.

don’t know if any of you can relate but I’m still fuming when I think about this.

Having recently moved house, we’ve had occasion to have visits from a few salesmen and builders etc.

I’m noticing a recurring theme where the tradesman listens to my husband the whole time , responding to his questions and practically ignores anything I ask, entirely
.
A couple of weeks ago I arranged for a builder to come to quote and discuss a job. He was fully engaging with my husband.
I may have been a ghost as it’s like he wasn’t even seeing or hearing me.

He said perfunctory hello initially, but then I clearly vanished!
At one point I literally asked him a question and he ignored it and answered to my husband instead.

He spoke over me and on the one occasion he did respond it was to agree with my husbands preference.

It was really quite demeaning! I just went inside without saying anything and they didn’t even realise. Although after he left. my husband said
I didn’t notice anything?
Course he bloody didn’t !

Anyway yesterday we went to a conservatory sales office and the sales guy in there did virtually the same thing. What is it with men?!
My husband and I were discussing the size of the proposed conservatory. The only time he engaged with me was on one occasion to say that he agreed with my husbands preference rather than mine.

I’m a pretty laid back person but I was starting to get a bit irritated by the end.

I’ve realised that when I was young and relatively attractive, I tended not to get completely ignored, not because they weren’t actually massigonist but just because they did at least want to engage me more because I was in the worth flirting with category.

Now I’m not young AND a woman ,I am totally surplus to requirements if there’s a man there for them to talk to

It doesn’t even occur to these men that I might be the person paying for the work either lol!