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School sports days - agree or disagree

(158 Posts)
Vintagejazz Tue 28-Jun-22 08:39:39

My friend's daughter is keeping her non sporty child at home this Friday because she gets so upset at being humiliated every sports day by trailing in last at everything and in front of all the pupils and parents. My friend disagrees with this approach saying her GD is bright academically and has to learn you can't be good at everything.

But I don't think non sporty kids necessarily want to win medals, just not to have their lack of ability on public show. I mean, we don't ask children who can't sing to stand up in front of the whole school plus parents and sing a solo from The Sound of Music off tune, regardless of how bright they are academically.

Callistemon21 Tue 28-Jun-22 14:41:31

Maggiemaybe

I hope there’s still room for those who are the fastest runners to show what they can do though. Mollygo. Sports Day is often their only chance to do it.

Oh yes! DGD even beat the boys (she doesn't take after me, I couldn't run at all).

LauraNorderr Tue 28-Jun-22 14:42:50

Life is competitive. Going for a job, being first to find the best flat in town then making the best offer, getting that green velvet skirt in the sales just as the other person grabbed for it.
Learning to win or to lose graciously are important lessons and taking part beats everything.
I watched my lovely 7 year old granddaughter come last in all her races last week due partly to lack of speed and mostly due to giggling. In the race where they had to balance a beanbag on the head she walked with perfect deportment all the way and completed the course even though all her friends had already finished. If there was a medal for the biggest grin she’d have won it.
Her Dad, my son, is very competitive, sadly learned from me. Her Mum brings her up to do her best at everything, enjoy what she’s doing and delight in the achievements of her friends as well as her own.
#proudgran

Callistemon21 Tue 28-Jun-22 14:44:28

Great post LauraNorderr

❤ your granddaughter - she sounds great!!

Callistemon21 Tue 28-Jun-22 14:46:53

Her Dad, my son, is very competitive
So is my DS

But I always say "It's not the winning, it's the taking part - enjoy it"

Vintagejazz Tue 28-Jun-22 15:05:44

Oldnproud

I was reasonably sporty in all but running, or more accurately, running fast. In a 100m race, I would always be last, despite giving it my all. I could hold my own in cross country, or even 800m, probably because I was fitter than many of the others, and that plus my determination eoukd see me through a longer distance.

Luckily, in secondary school anyway, we could choose what sports we competed in. That led to what I still fondly think of as my finest hour - winning the high jump one year, and not only that, but beating my nemesis, a girl who had been nasty to me since the first time we met in primary school as six year olds.

To force a child to participate in a competitive race against their will, on sports day, in front of an audience, knowing that they will always do so badly that they will be humiliated, is cruel. It's bad enough during the normal PE classes, but there at least I agree with the argument that 'we all have to do things we're not good at / don't like', and is quite different from a compulsory competition.

Exactly. No one is saying children should be excused from PE.

But taking part in sports day should be optional. In the same way that taking part in the school play or the school debating competition is left up to the pupils themselves. They may have to attend compulsory music ir Civics classes, but they're not forced to publicly perform or compete if they don't want to. Is that teaching them they can just opt out of everything they don't like?

Petera Tue 28-Jun-22 15:07:34

Vintagejazz we don't ask children who can't sing to stand up in front of the whole school plus parents and sing a solo from The Sound of Music off tune

Clearly we went to different schools...

NotSpaghetti Tue 28-Jun-22 15:15:04

Petera
grin

Joseanne Tue 28-Jun-22 16:30:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Joseanne Tue 28-Jun-22 16:47:43

Sorry wrong thread. Oops!

Callistemon21 Tue 28-Jun-22 16:49:12

Petera

Vintagejazz we don't ask children who can't sing to stand up in front of the whole school plus parents and sing a solo from The Sound of Music off tune

Clearly we went to different schools...

Petera Are you Diana Ross? ?

Witzend Tue 28-Jun-22 17:21:53

A pushy-parent one - I found this wryly amusing.

Dds’ English -Speaking school in Oman held a swimming gala every year. Dd1 was friends with an American girl who’d recently come from Saudi Arabia, where she’d attended the American school. They were both 10 at the time.

After heats before the day, only about the 6 fastest swimmers were entered for each race in the gala. The American mother was incensed that her dd was not selected for any of them.

She told me that her dd had excelled in the American school swimming events - and they all wore matching swimsuits with logos! - she seemed to think this made them a cut above any old mere English-speaking school swimmers. She evidently thought that the PE teacher must have some sort of prejudice against her dd.

She kicked up such a fuss, that the PE teacher did enter her dd for at least a couple of the races - in both of which she came last.
(And my dd1 came first.)
I felt very sorry for the girl, but given the mother’s attitude (American school swimming must of course be superior) I did find it hard not to feel a touch of Schadenfreude.

Mollygo Tue 28-Jun-22 17:33:38

Maggiemaybe

I hope there’s still room for those who are the fastest runners to show what they can do though. Mollygo. Sports Day is often their only chance to do it.

Yes, as I said “didn’t all involve being the fastest runner”. We still have running-different distances, hurdles etc.

VioletSky Tue 28-Jun-22 17:40:02

We put a lot of time and effort in to making it inclusive.

If the whole class will be doing the running race, we have matched them up by ability so they all have a chance.

If we are picking one line up for egg and spoon race or sack race by year, then we will look to those who may not have strength in one but do in something else..

No one is forced to participate and can choose to cheer instead or help with equipment.

The main focus is health which means challenging ourselves not each other.

Also I will run with the shy child or the anxious child or the SEN child and they always beat me lol

TerriBull Tue 28-Jun-22 17:40:36

I wasn't particularly outstanding at sports, only fair to middling, but enjoyed the orange juice provided on such days the taking part. It also meant that all the important but sometimes tedious stuff got kicked into the long grass for a while. I think it gave the fast runners a chance to shine it was their day and imo it would be unfair to take that away from them and anyway, as others have stated, life is competitive.

I was pleased when my own children were picked for various swimming events, although being boys they were rather horrified when they were told they had to wear swimming hats shock

maddyone Tue 28-Jun-22 18:55:45

Good for you VioletSky. We did a similar type of Sports Day when I was teaching as you describe. I don’t remember any child not wanting to join in. It was fun.

Joseanne Tue 28-Jun-22 19:11:53

Fun is the operative word.
Just don't mention the good old British weather scuppering the event!

Luckygirl3 Tue 28-Jun-22 19:39:48

Sport/physically activity is important for everyone.
Music is an extra.

Well - how much that reveals about our topsy-turvy cultural attitudes in this country!

Physical activity is important for everyone, but sport and ritual humiliation are not.

Music is the only truly international language that there is and it is an "extra"!

Deary me. Shakes head ......

Callistemon21 Tue 28-Jun-22 20:23:39

Physical activity is important for everyone, but sport and ritual humiliation are not

I disagree that children are virtually humiliated at sports
If they are then that is a very poor school and the parents need to have some serious conversations with the Head, teachers and governors.

This should not be happening now in schools.

Callistemon21 Tue 28-Jun-22 20:25:14

Music is the only truly international language that there is and it is an "extra"!

That is not true!

lixy Tue 28-Jun-22 20:33:10

I agree with Callistemon that parents should discuss any event causing distress with the school staff. It's the only way to bring about a change.
So, to go back to OP, the parent should be talking to the school rather than condoning truancy.

icanhandthemback Tue 28-Jun-22 20:34:05

I hated Sports' Day. I was useless at all the events and there was too much sitting around. However, as a teacher, I saw different forms of Sports' Day, some of which were really good.

Musicgirl Tue 28-Jun-22 20:37:17

I have always been totally non-sporty. My very wise mother told me, when I was in the infants, that I found reading and maths easy but some other children did not and sports day was their chance to shine. I accepted this and did not mind primary school sports day. Secondary school was another matter altogether. I hated it. All the athletes had been picked beforehand and the rest of us had to sit and watch them. It was always the last Thursday before the May half term and always cold and windy. One year, I volunteered to rake out the long jump pit to alleviate the boredom. That said, there are times in life when we all have to do things we do not like and resilience is a good attribute to have. I think letting this girl stay at home because she dislikes sports day is setting a very bad example for the future.

Deedaa Tue 28-Jun-22 21:03:10

I was always last in everything at sports day and I don't remember being particularly bothered. On the other hand DD's primary school had trouble trying to get anyone to enter races she was in because she always won. At least once she got to secondary school she was faced with more competition.

BlueBelle Tue 28-Jun-22 21:53:22

There was a disabled girl in my grandkids sports day she worked so hard but always came last but got the biggest cheer and other kids would often help her staying back to run with her
No they should not be kept home that’s teaching her/ him to be a defeatist not a fighter

icanhandthemback Tue 28-Jun-22 22:11:59

BlueBelle

There was a disabled girl in my grandkids sports day she worked so hard but always came last but got the biggest cheer and other kids would often help her staying back to run with her
No they should not be kept home that’s teaching her/ him to be a defeatist not a fighter

I kept my daughter home from Sports Day because her disability made it a grossly uncomfortable day for her particularly if it was sunny as she was unable to wear suncream and burns easily. Although the boys have the same condition, they are not as badly affected so joined in willingly. However, one of them invariably came home injured so it was always a bit of an anxious time for me.