School sports days - agree or disagree

Mamardoit

Grandma70s

I can’t swim or ride a bike. I chose not to, and neither has ever inconvenienced me. Music, on the other hand, is breath of life to me.

I don’t remember hating school sports days. I think I just didn’t care about them. They were for the boring ‘gamesy’ people!

Did you encourage your own DC to swim/ride a bike/take part in sport Grandma70?

We are too near a canal and river for me not to make sure mine all had swimming lessons. To some of them it was a boring chore but others swam for a club.

They did swimming at school, so no option there. Thank goodness we didn’t.

They did ride bikes, because they enjoyed it. I didn’t encourage them to take part in sports, and neither was particularly interested.

I had lots of exercise in my youth, because I did ballet. I could see the point of that, and of course it involved music. It wasn’t competitive, unless you went in for festivals,

I think your friend is right Vintagejazz. We can't all be good at everything and this child's mother IMO is reinforcing her D's feeling of humiliation by keeping her away from sports day.

I don't know what format the school follows on sports day, but I don't remember my children (or myself) being compelled to enter races/events unless they wanted to.
What age of child are we talking about?
Does the whole year group compete in (say) the 100 meter sprint and the cross country and the hurdles? The high jump, the long jump, the sack race?
I just didn't enter myself for any sports. I stood at the side and cheered.
Sports Days must have changed.

They must be exhausted.

Grandma70s

I can’t swim or ride a bike. I chose not to, and neither has ever inconvenienced me. Music, on the other hand, is breath of life to me.

I don’t remember hating school sports days. I think I just didn’t care about them. They were for the boring ‘gamesy’ people!

Did you encourage your own DC to swim/ride a bike/take part in sport Grandma70?

We are too near a canal and river for me not to make sure mine all had swimming lessons. To some of them it was a boring chore but others swam for a club.

This child may enjoy some other physical activity - why are people assuming this young person does nothing physical.
She may enjoy swimming/trampolining/ice skating/horseriding etc.

These are never part of a school sports day.

Please don't assume people who don't want to be humiliated in school races are just lazy or inactive.

I’d have thought most schools would by now have come up with a format that means non-sporty children aren’t humiliated, even if it means they don’t have to participate and can just be there to cheer others on if they are genuinely so stressed about it. But surely keeping a child at home is just going to make them stand out and lead to comments from other pupils?

I was hopeless at school sports events but can’t remember ever feeling this way - there were plenty of us in the same boat! Everyone really just focussed on the ones at the front and it was their day to shine.

Elizabeth27

It is not a good lesson to opt out of what you do not excel at, it is teaching her that nothing is done for the sheer enjoyment of it and if she doesn’t want to do something she doesn’t have to.

The child is not being allowed opt out of PE classes. Would it be ok to force a child who struggled to read to take part in a public spelling bee in front of other parents?

I can’t swim or ride a bike. I chose not to, and neither has ever inconvenienced me. Music, on the other hand, is breath of life to me.

I don’t remember hating school sports days. I think I just didn’t care about them. They were for the boring ‘gamesy’ people!

Mamardoit

Luckygirl3

Joseanne

If it's on the school calendar I think all people should do it. And the teachers are pretty skilful at dealing with any reluctant customers.

Let's go back a stage and take it off the school calendar - it is just a hang over from the public schools.

Or let's get all the unmusical children to stand up in front of the entire school and parents and make idiots of themselves trying to blow a note on a clarinet.

Sports day is ritual humiliation and should be ended. For the unsporty it is hell.

Thankfully many schools are beginning to realise this and have adapted theirs to try and create a fun day outside.

I would say sport in school is slightly different.

Sport/physically activity is important for everyone. Especially those who find it difficult. Everyone needs to learn to swim and ride a bike IMO. We all needs to keep fit and learn to fail at something. My boys never excelled at sports day but they did in team sports when they were older juniors.

Music is an extra. A lovely extra for those that enjoy it. DC can learn a lot from it but it's not necessary. I always wished I had learnt to read music but I have lived a full and happy life without. It never stopped me enjoying listening to others perform. I did make sure all six DC had the chance to learn music. School did a bit but not much so it had to be an out of school activity.

Learning sports and exercise is fine. Being forced to perform in front of the entire school plus parents is the issue.

I think it's a bit of an over statement to say the child is trailing in last all the time. I don't think for a moment that a non sporty child will be entered for every race. I think as lixy says school sports days have changed and there are all sorts of things going on. I agree with GG13 it's once a year and no one excels at everything, a lesson to be learned.

No wonder we’re producing a lot of ‘snowflakes’ with attitudes like that of the OP’s friend. What has happened to join in, do your best, enjoy, perseverance, not to mention exercise is good for you.. We are also producing many overweight children. Perhaps exercise is the very thing they need. Children don’t need to win at everything, the lesson should be that you do your best and that’s enough. This child is being taught that if it’s difficult simply don’t do it. Not a good lesson in life.

It is not a good lesson to opt out of what you do not excel at, it is teaching her that nothing is done for the sheer enjoyment of it and if she doesn’t want to do something she doesn’t have to.

Luckygirl3

Joseanne

If it's on the school calendar I think all people should do it. And the teachers are pretty skilful at dealing with any reluctant customers.

Let's go back a stage and take it off the school calendar - it is just a hang over from the public schools.

Or let's get all the unmusical children to stand up in front of the entire school and parents and make idiots of themselves trying to blow a note on a clarinet.

Sports day is ritual humiliation and should be ended. For the unsporty it is hell.

Thankfully many schools are beginning to realise this and have adapted theirs to try and create a fun day outside.

I would say sport in school is slightly different.

Sport/physically activity is important for everyone. Especially those who find it difficult. Everyone needs to learn to swim and ride a bike IMO. We all needs to keep fit and learn to fail at something. My boys never excelled at sports day but they did in team sports when they were older juniors.

Music is an extra. A lovely extra for those that enjoy it. DC can learn a lot from it but it's not necessary. I always wished I had learnt to read music but I have lived a full and happy life without. It never stopped me enjoying listening to others perform. I did make sure all six DC had the chance to learn music. School did a bit but not much so it had to be an out of school activity.

Vintagejazz has told us that the child gets upset at being humiliated every sports day by trailing in last at everything and in front of all the pupils and parents

I would have thought from this, that clearly we are talking about an old-school type sports day. These non-inclusive events must still happen.
It's obviously not a school which encourages other activities for those who feel humiliated.

Given that, I think it's the parents' responsibility to prevent the young person from being subjected to the abuses that many of "our" generation were forced to endure.
Keep the child off I say. Do something lovely instead.

One of my grandchildren when at nursery, was leading by a fair distance in a trike race when he turned and saw his little friend struggling. He stopped, got off his trike and pushed it back to join his friend and pedalled slowly over the line with him holding his hand, coming in last. I was such a proud grandmother. That was many years ago, but his still has the same kind nature.

One thing that constantly appalled me over the years both as a mother and a grandmother, was the number of parents who opened cheated in the parents races.

Our sports' day is a carousel of activities. Everyone takes part and has a go at everything. The activities are designed to show the skills being taught through the PE curriculum. The afternoon finishes with a whole school dance.
Parents can move around with their child or stay still in one place as they choose. All very relaxed and informal.

When I started teaching we had old-style sports' days including the dreaded and hotly-competed teachers' race. So glad it changed.

Sago

There was a wonderful video that did the rounds recently of a young lad at sports day who was struggling to get to the finish line.
His class mates stopped running , turned back and ran with him.

How wonderful that the children were showing the teachers the way!

Imagine being the fat boy at the back of the race, sweating and struggling in front of everyone. If we want this boy to be less fat then activities need to be found that do not include humiliation.

Sorry, it didn't copy, it is just a hang over from the public schools.

The usual dig again? Totally irrelevant.

I well remember the son of a neighbour - he was about 12 - refusing to participate in a school swimming gala. We lived on a construction camp in the Middle East, with a big pool on site, so it was a short walk away.

A notoriously bossy, domineering ‘friend’ of the boy’s mother, came round and insisted that he go - said she’d drag him there if necessary.

As I was told later by the boy’s mother, he said, ‘You might boss everybody else, Mrs X, but you’re not going to boss me!’

As I told the mother, I’d have been thoroughly proud of him! Mrs X was a dreadful woman - the boy’s mother often admitted to me that she allowed herself to be bullied and domineered by her.

Whether the boy ought to have gone is rather beside the point - it was the principle of standing up to domineering Mrs X.

Abd what about the mummy who face planted showing her bottom!

Joseanne

If it's on the school calendar I think all people should do it. And the teachers are pretty skilful at dealing with any reluctant customers.

Let's go back a stage and take it off the school calendar - it is just a hang over from the public schools.

Or let's get all the unmusical children to stand up in front of the entire school and parents and make idiots of themselves trying to blow a note on a clarinet.

Sports day is ritual humiliation and should be ended. For the unsporty it is hell.

Thankfully many schools are beginning to realise this and have adapted theirs to try and create a fun day outside.

There was a wonderful video that did the rounds recently of a young lad at sports day who was struggling to get to the finish line.
His class mates stopped running , turned back and ran with him.

people .. should say pupils

My son hated sports but still participated and took it on the chin as it’s all part of growing up.