Micro managed by retired hubby

Don’t help him in the garden, let him get on with that while you are preparing a meal.

If he grumbles, tell him why!

Can someone advise me ….yes …..stand up to him he sounds a bully and you sound as if you have never stood up to him in your life you sound lost in his presence well it’s never too late Stop trying to please him you don’t need to placate him
When it comes to getting the meal ready, ask for help if he refuses then next time buy him a ready meal and tell him if he wants home cooked he ll have to help more
As for not helping with your seatbelt etc Ask him for help if he refuses stop travelling with him go on the bus, train, walk but not with him you d get far more assistance off a stranger

Do you have girlfriends/grown up children you can go out with, leave him at home You sound in a very old fashioned role of his little drudge Take your life into your own hands and tell him to look after himself and you a bit more

We are not in the nineteenth century no one needs a bully for a partner/ husband STAND UP TO HIM has the relationship always been in these roles ?

Ps I've just see your last post. Am just about to log off for the night but will catch up in the morning. I hope tomorrow is a bit easier for you.

Hi wee shamrock. This must be awful for you. I understand that if you are having problems with your hands and arms then it is likely to take you longer to do anything that involves your hands and arms which will be pretty much everything. You might need to constantly remind your husband in advance that you will need assistance and/ or extra time Eg, just as he is parking the car and before he gets out, ask him if he can help you with your seatbelt, handbag etc. When getting ready to leave the house, remind him that you need extra time and a bit of assistance sometimes and agree on what time you need to leave then give yourself enough time to get sorted out. If he is helping you it might seem less like he is either striding away from you or looming over you, neither of which is great.If he knows in advance that you need his help he might show more patience. Do you think some of this might help you? I hope you manage to fnd some kind of workable solution.

I have nursed him through prostate cancer and gallbladder removal and looked after him and his three children one with special needs when his first wife died at 34years old with multiple schorosis. So I have already done that for him. Sorry its late. Thanks for your reply it helped x Bless you x

A complex situation. I assume you have spoken to him and explained how you feel? Sounds as though he is not accepting your physical limitations, is he scared of the future or is he relishing the power he has over you? If it is the latter then it's time to stand your corner and tell him enough is enough and you are not prepared to tolerate his attitude. Surely he should be doing his best to facilitate you, not make you feel insignificant and belittled!!!

He sounds very unkind. You poor thing.

I suspect you never bite back and I think you should challenge him calmly.

“David you know I have problems with my hands. Why don’t you help me instead of complaining dinner is late/ looming over me?”

If he escalates in response I’d point out that God forbid he should become ill or need surgery in the future, is this how he’d be happy for you to react to his infirmities?

So much for in sickness and in health. He needs to buck his ideas up.