Views on 13 year old granddaughter travelling on train alone from Yorkshire to Cornwall !!!e

NotSpaghetti

Just remembered that my husband hitch-hiked round Europe at 15. He met a friend somewhere... don't remember where but they went off separately after a few days together.
I think, when people say "it's a different world now" it's probably true - but not necessarily in the way we imagine!

At 15 my dh and a friend of the same age cycled on their own from SW London to Dorset, where they camped - on their own - for a week. And cycled back again.

And at 11, when his mother was removing from a major op, he was also sent - by train on his own - to an elderly relative in Bude, where he went to the beach, on his own, every day for a fortnight. They knew he was an excellent swimmer, but even so….
A different world indeed.

Just remembered that my husband hitch-hiked round Europe at 15. He met a friend somewhere... don't remember where but they went off separately after a few days together.
I think, when people say "it's a different world now" it's probably true - but not necessarily in the way we imagine!

grandtanteJE65

www.holidayextras.com/travel-insurance/children/can-a-child-travel-alone-on-a-train.html

According to this link, British rail will accept a thirteen year old travelling alone.

If the girl is sensible, knows what to do if anyone behaves inappropriately towards her, and has made the journey with an adult before, she should manage all right, unless she is scared at the prospect.

I read from 12 on your link.
This may be useful;
www.btp.police.uk/cp/crime-prevention/btp/railway-crime/young-people-travelling-alone/

When my younger daughter used to travel to her grandparents on the South Coast from the Midlands _ it may have been this same train as it went up to Sheffield for certain _ I made sure she had the number of the transport police. My older daughter had the number too... but written down... no phone in her day. I expect they were 12 / 13 ish. But no changes and not quite such a long journey. Maybe 5 or 6 hours.

www.holidayextras.com/travel-insurance/children/can-a-child-travel-alone-on-a-train.html

According to this link, British rail will accept a thirteen year old travelling alone.

If the girl is sensible, knows what to do if anyone behaves inappropriately towards her, and has made the journey with an adult before, she should manage all right, unless she is scared at the prospect.

Reading these stories reminds me how stressed I get travelling alone now!
I think it is the alone which is the worry
2 of them can cope but unless very mature I wouldn't feel happy about a 13 yr old on their own
I recently left my overnight bag on the train when I changed trains. And that train from Grantham to Edinburgh pre Christmas was the stuff of nightmares. It was so crowded, I never found my reserved seat and had to stand for the first 2 hours. The train stopped outside Darlington for 2 hours. We were issued with vouchers afterwards as an apology but I haven't been on a train since.

My just 16 year old ( I know it’s a different age) has just flown a short European flight and found her way from the airport to the station got the correct train for a 4 hour train ride with one change had an hours delay and I met her at this end We were in touch along the way
Most childreb are much more savvy that we believe

Wow these posts are so interesting.

Thank you all

Two of my GD (now 14 and 15) travel on the train on their own to visit relatives. But only on straightforward through trains that depart and arrive in daylight hours, so far. They are put on the train in a reserved seat, shown the toilets and any available buffet and the guard (when available). They take a list of stations they will go through and a fully charged mobile phone. Every hour they phone a parent and tell them what the last station was they went through. When they get to the stop before their destination the parent phones the person who is meeting them to confirm arrival time and which carriage their seat is in (ie front of back of train). They are also told to ask for help with their luggage if needed, as trains may not stop long in station, and bag may be too heavy. So far no nasty surprises and the girls enjoy the train rides and the independence. But even when they first went they were aware of always asking for help if they were worried by anything.

If you have been shown how to handle a train journey, how to look for announcement boards, who to ask for help, then you are better able to cope. I am talking generally here, not specifically to this situation.

Recently, taking my GCs swimming, I found a young woman standing in the corridor just outside the women's changing rooms in tears. This is the 'public area', she was in her bikini. She was I guess about 13, taller than me.
I asked her what the problem was and she said she was lost. I asked where she wanted to be and she said 'the pool' which is accessed through the changing rooms. I asked if someone would be there and she said 'my dad, I've never been swimming without my mum before'.
She had obviously not been taught how to ask for directions / help. Her response to a problem was to cry - making her vulnerable (OK not here so much, but another situation possibly).
Of course, I saw her through, and she appeared 'normal' (I mean, not special needs). I didn't labour the point to her dad as the GCs needed seeing to.

Again, I make a general point.

Like others on here, I used to travel alone from (Worcester to Paignton or Torquay and back) from the age of 11. However, I am now 78 - do the maths. I was “ put in the care of the guard”, often taken to watch how the mail was dealt with and spoiled rotten.

It would never be allowed now, even if there were sill a guard on the train.

At 13 my dd2 and a same age school friend did a day trip to Calais on their own. Train to central London, across London, train to Dover, ferry - and back again.
But I don’t mind admitting that the other mum and I said OK only after much angst-y dithering, and were in a tizz until they were safely back.

This was ages ago though - I wouldn’t allow it now - Calais is not what it was.

My grandchildren 14 & 16 used to do 4hr train journey to visit. We would meet them at a London station. Having said that I have just travelled Penzance to Paddington direct, but had to change 3 times for various train problems.

Children are in more danger sitting in a car than sitting on a train yet as far as I know we don't suggest children shouldn't travel in cars. Giving children responsibility is empowering for them, suggesting the world is a bad place with people waiting to pounce on them will just make them anxious. I've always taken the view that my job as a parent is to help my children become confident independent people who are able to rely on their own resources if needed and you don't do that by wrapping them up in cotton wool.

As Nannarose says:
I think that learning to be independent, watch out for yourself and so on, are important skills. Young people are more likely to run into trouble if they don't know how to handle themselves, or spot trouble and know how to avoid it.

It amazes me that primary school pupils are not allowed out of school without being met by a designated adult yet six weeks later they may be negotiating a journey to senior school on public transport involving a change of bus/train and a walk each end.

I'm sure they do.

The parents may know her best,but they no nothing about those scumbags out there waiting for an opportunity to pounce.

I agree with those who say that we have to begin teaching independence, and so the reply may depend on the child's previous experience rather than age.

If she has never travelled alone, rarely gone on a train etc,. then she needs some experience and preparation. I made sure that all of our kids got such experience. For instance, on an outing, a child would pay for their own ticket, sit alone etc. knowing that the rest of us were on the bus / train if needed.
They began with short journeys where someone would meet them. I recently saw my 10 year old GC on to a bus, then went to meet him off, just for the experience.

I think that learning to be independent, watch out for yourself and so on, are important skills. Young people are more likely to run into trouble if they don't know how to handle themselves, or spot trouble and know how to avoid it.

Serendipity22

Just that really.

My own thoughts on it are an outright NO.

Thank you

Could she do the journey by plane?
Could someone take her to the airport an meet her at the other end, no changes involved and it would be quicker.
It would probably be no more expensive either.

That being said, DH used to travel from Devon to London, change trains and on to boarding school from the age of 8. A 12 year old girl was supposed to look after him but, having pointed him in the right direction the first time, she ignored him thereafter.
That was many years ago, of course.

Bluebelle wrote I think those giving horror stories are not being at all helpful

I consider it better to hear the horror stories before doing it and then not do it than be on television recounting a horror story and sit there mournfully advising other parents how to look after their own children.

Cabbie21 wrote What a brilliant idea to take a full length and portrait photo before they set off!

Please state exactly why that is a brilliant idea!

That might crystallise why the answer is NO.

vegansrock

I’m surprised that so many say no. if she can go on a bus or train to school alone then I don’t see a problem. it’s just a longer more boring journey. My youngest DS went on trains alone to central London twice a week from the age of 11.

It's not just though.

The just version would be going back and forth twenty to forty times or however many times on the local journey for ten hours, never very far from home.

Could a parent accompany her, stay overnight, then travel back the next day?

At thirteen my son was a seasoned traveller on trains and planes to and from school. At least train carriages now are open seating and not compartments, but I have to say that ten hours is a hell of a long time for a child to be on a train alone. I suppose it depends on the child. As others have said, if she must travel and you can afford to, buy her a first class ticket.

I think 13 is OK. Some train companies do not allow those under 12 to travel unaccompanied.

welbeck

the parents know her best.
it's their call.

Is it?

Or are there laws about this?

depends on the circumstances.