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How to manage the loved one who has to have the last word

(13 Posts)
Nanamar Sun 17-Jul-22 15:46:04

I dearly love my ex-DIL - she’s a wonderful mom and a good person. DS and I agree, however, that she is stubborn and has to have the last word. Most of the time it isn’t worth challenging - I personally would rather be happy than be right. But once in awhile I’d like to at least feel that I’m responding appropriately but not just be a turtle and slink away. Do you have strategies for communicating effectively with loved ones who have this trait?

MrsTagain Sun 17-Jul-22 15:49:20

Why not use the slightly patronising comment "We'll just have to agree to differ"?

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 17-Jul-22 15:54:16

Or you could say “ well I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong “

?

Nanamar Sun 17-Jul-22 15:59:22

Love this one!

Mine Sun 17-Jul-22 16:06:08

I'd just smirk, put my hand up and sarcastically say "OK if you say so"smile

Grandmabatty Sun 17-Jul-22 16:23:00

It isn't worth it as they are never wrong. I speak from bitter experience as my brother is like this. If he pontificates, as he often does, I ignore and turn the conversation.

V3ra Sun 17-Jul-22 16:43:09

How about, "Oh well, whatever works for you..." ?
But don't fall out with her over it! ?

Jaxjacky Sun 17-Jul-22 16:46:12

In desperation I have said ‘I agree’ even if I don’t, stops the conversation totally as they’re flummoxed.

dragonfly46 Sun 17-Jul-22 16:48:07

I usually say nothing and let it go.

timetogo2016 Mon 18-Jul-22 09:48:00

My sister was very much like your Dil.
I would ask her if she just said so and so has died,she would look at me in a very strange way and say no,then i would say ok.
Not another word,well for at least a couple of minutes.
Kept me amused.

karmalady Mon 18-Jul-22 09:50:48

just use you mind to inwardly say the words that you really wanted to say. It is often better to keep the peace and keep the mouth zipped but no-one can read your mind and you can say what you want in there

paddyann54 Mon 18-Jul-22 10:38:37

My late FIL was like this ,I did used to argue with him until I realised he was just winding me up so I would tell him that he obviously knew better as he had so many years more experience .
Although I did still let my son have "girls toys and an umbrella" although FIL thought I was turning him into a "cissie" .
The 34 year old is a brilliant dad to his girls ,must be all those dolls he played with....lol

Allsorts Mon 18-Jul-22 10:43:17

If it really got to me, I would say. We will just have to differ. Better be nice than right with people like that.