Grandkids are locked in their bedrooms

What exactly does 'locking' mean in this case? When my GC were small, they mostly slept all night but could wake very early. GS went through a sleep walking phase, and our house has a long corridor and landing upstairs, and a steep curving staircase. We fitted a cabin hook at the top of each bedroom door, and explained to the children it was to keep them safe if they did have a 'sleepy wander', and they knew that if they called out one of us would be there in an instant. It gave us peace of mind and didn't worry them in the least - I really can't see how this could become a fire hazard, as the hook could be flicked off in a split second while opening the door, and how long does it take to turn a key? The reasons might be innocent - is this post a wind up?

It fills me with horror, too.

I don't know how you would approach this with your DD, Charlotte. They must be very young if they are still needing a day-time nap; perhaps you could start by discussing the fire dangers etc with her? Asking if they still need day-time naps or offer to buy a stairgate for the top of the stairs if they aren't able to negotiate stairs yet?

I taught mine to negotiate stairs from a very early age as at least one of them climbed out of the cot and so in the end I left the cot side down.

I'm so glad this has been highlighted.

My gchild, one in particular was locked in the bedroom with a bolt on the outside of the door.

Just to save the parents being disturbed by the child in the night.

I was shocked that someone could even think this was a good solution to the problem.

My SiL did this with my neice, just for 'go to sleep' time. Once she was asleep the door was unlocked. It was done for nap time and bedtime. My neice was a very difficult child. If the door hadn't been locked, she would never have gone to sleep.

My DGS had a gate on his bedroom door for the same reason. Also because he would have (and did pre-gate) got up and wandered around the house. Given that he could walk and climb out of his cot from 9 months, it was too dangerous to consider.

What if something happened to the mother, how long before the children would be found?

In our case it was not to save being disturbed - it was to save our GS from walking into an obstacle and waking up with a shock and possible injury, or worse still falling down the stairs, as from a young age he was quite capable of climbing over stairgates. Had he tried to open his bedroom door we would have heard it rattle and gone to him - I do think different situations need different resolutions, and to make sweeping statements about reporting the mother, or expressing horror - I am still thinking this post must be dubious as there has been no response from the OP.

It's a total no-no as far as I'm concerned (and yes, I had a daughter who wouldn't go to sleep etc etc, but I would never have even considered locking her bedroom door). Even if it's just for a short time, there's far too much potential for disaster.

Another question: does OP's daughter have a baby camera (audio and/or video)

For those commenting on the lack of response from OP, she's probably on the other side of the Atlantic and may be still asleep. Time of posting and use of term "grandkids" (not so common in UK) are clues.

A definite no no from me as well. Locks, bolts should never be used to restrain children, so many things to go wrong.

So as others have said how are they locked in? Does the OP know why they are locked in? I would think that could be a starting point for the discussion - either to find out why or discuss other ways of achieving the purpose of locking them in

The only time I can think of where it might be understandable is if they are sleep walking and it's proving dangerous to them.

More info needed

I think it really dies depend on why she does it and how often and how long for.
My son was “difficult” and there were times when I locked myself in the lavatory for both of our sakes. We both laugh about it now.

ExDancer

Charlotte have you said anything to your daughter about it, if so what? And what was her reply?
I don't think you can pussyfoot around the issue so you've got to have that awkward conversation NOW.
Perhaps something along the lines of "Do you know its illegal to lock children in their rooms? If social services find out you'll risk losing them". Not true of course, but a conversation you really must have even if you risk alienating your daughter.
There's no tactful way of approaching this.

I wouldn't be starting the conversation off with lies. And why would the daughter think this was true? This could result in her never relying upon another word said by her mother.

In general - not applied only to this thread

Threatening somebody with calling social services on them may fully backfire, the other person may fully or partially restrict contact .

How do you know she does this Charlotte? Are the children old enough to have told you or did your D? If your D did, that would have been the time to have a conversation about it.

It is not illegal to do so but not recommended either.

How old is your daughter? Is she the only adult in her home or is there someone else with an opinion? Does she live with you? How is this your business?

I used a babygate to keep my daughter in her room, maybe I would have locked the door if I had a lock.

The reason being, she is autistic and as a toddler, needed about 3 hours sleep a night. I couldn't survive on that much sleep a night so she needed somewhere she could exist safely.

This was under the recommendation of doctors and health visitors

So it really depends why this is happening and there is nowhere near enough info in the OP.

Farmor15

For those commenting on the lack of response from OP, she's probably on the other side of the Atlantic and may be still asleep. Time of posting and use of term "grandkids" (not so common in UK) are clues.

Yes, I thought that too.

Baby gates are useful, locking children in is entirely different

Iam64

Baby gates are useful, locking children in is entirely different

What if they can climb them? Or open them? Or open the door?

I don't know what I would have done

But if there was a fire, baby gate or door would prevent escape, of a small child knew to do that but a door would slow the fire down wouldn't it?

You're right baggytrazzas its not a good idea to start with a lie. However I did a bit of research and apparently is IS classed as abuse.
We do need more information about the ages of the children and any other problems they may have. And they are going to have to have a conversation about it soon.

As to the reason for the OP's failure to return, she may have been put off by the shock/horror replies, she did ask a valid question after all. She said she needed HELP not judgement, so let's try to help her.
If its a 'scam' I hope they're enjoying it - what a waste of energy!

No not if the fire started in the room or directly outside the room violet
I would never never lock a baby or child in a room whatever their medical or mental condition was, I d find a different way and may have to think outside the box
For old people you can get a mat that buzzes or makes some other sound if stood on maybe that’s a way, or I d keep them in my room until they could be safely left
Not just a fire danger but psychologically to be locked in is such an awful thought

Surely this is cruel and dangerous .

One of my children never slept through the night until aged 13 .
He was restless, had nightmares and terrors .
It was exhausting .
He must have slept sometimes maybe catnaps for 20 minutes or so .
So as he grew - I'd explain :
I need to sleep and if you can't then you have to play quietly and that's what he did .
Now and now again I'd wake up and hear him playing with his toys and saying mummy says not to be loud !

Well done Fannycorn!
Definitely a red flag here.