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Saying thank you

(81 Posts)
Mattsmum2 Wed 17-Aug-22 17:10:27

Is it me or has the art of saying thank you for receiving a card gone out of fashion. I can see some threads elsewhere on here but nothing about sending cards. I wouldn’t dream if not saying thanks even though electronic means if I received a card yet I tend to not get this returned., or am I being too touchy? Example is a friend whose birthday it was followed by a house move card. Nothing from them ?‍♀️

Serendipity22 Sat 20-Aug-22 21:47:49

Happppy birthday to you MOnica... sorry I am late in the day... hope you had a lovely day ? ? ? ?

M0nica Sat 20-Aug-22 21:29:36

Whenever I read a rant about 'the young these days' selfish and undeserving, always on their phones etc etc. I always feel pretty sure someone is writing from their prejudices and not from their day to day experience.

I also find it very salutary to remind myself and many others of the 1960s/70s generation that we were the generation that kicked the applecart over in a way the current generation can only dream of.

In fact I think the complaint about younger generations being selfish, lazy, greedy and demanding etc etc probably dates back to the beginning of time. I expect Adam and Eve said it about Cain and Abel and that in their time our grandchildren will say it about their grandchildren, – Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose!

crazyH Sat 20-Aug-22 17:30:23

Happy Birthday Monica ?????

welbeck Sat 20-Aug-22 17:04:48

hope you're having a nice day MOnica, hippy b'day

M0nica Sat 20-Aug-22 14:11:32

Thank you, just wish the numbers would start going backwards.

StarDreamer Sat 20-Aug-22 13:16:44

Happy Birthday, M0nica.

Doodledog Sat 20-Aug-22 11:49:00

Happy birthday, M0nica!

A good thing about cards is that, as you describe, they facilitate keeping in touch. So do texts or emails of course, and I think that they will take over, as there is less obligation all round.

M0nica Sat 20-Aug-22 11:36:07

Actually, I have realised that I do, on occasion, thank people for cards, but usually only when there is another reason as well. It is my birthday today, about. I reeived half a dozen cards by post, and I have acknowledged one with an email, I needed to email that person anyway and the other, because it reminded me that I hadn't been in touch with the card giver for a while and rang up and we had a chat.

Crumbs Sat 20-Aug-22 08:30:57

A text or phone call on the day is more meaningful than a late card that was an afterthought. I’m beginning to come round to the idea of ditching cards, as I have been late with cards, sometimes life gets in the way.

welbeck Fri 19-Aug-22 23:13:12

Treetops, so why do you send money to the second group.
it obviously bothers you that they don't acknowledge the gift, so why go on doing it.
why send money to any of them.
they are not your direct descendants; and even then...

Aldom Fri 19-Aug-22 23:04:09

Gabrielle56

Any sort of "thanks" is gratefully received!! Unfortunately Young's nowadays are an entitled lot and don't see why they should"grateful" for anything....because according to them! "They're worth it!" And they "deserve" everything even though we all have tights older than the lot of them and we still say thanks!!!

My grandchildren all thank me for gifts. Some by text messages and two of them, aged 17 and 13 always write thank you notelets.
Two granddaughters who live and work in London came by train to see me on Wednesday evening. They arrived in Oxford at 5.35pm we had a meal in a restaurant, then they caught the 8.37pm train back to London. They just wanted to see me and tell me about their lives. Non of my grandchildren see themselves as 'entitled'. They study hard and the older ones now work hard. All very thoughtful, caring young people.

GreyKnitter Fri 19-Aug-22 22:43:09

I don’t expect anyone to say thank you for a card - unless there’s some kind of gift enclosed. Even then no one seems to bother anymore!

Nantotwo Fri 19-Aug-22 18:40:06

Nantotwo

Years old I would imagine. When I was young, that half was very important yo me. smile

*to

Nantotwo Fri 19-Aug-22 18:39:29

Years old I would imagine. When I was young, that half was very important yo me. smile

Milest0ne Fri 19-Aug-22 18:18:32

A GS has a birthday at Christmas so when he was little we celebrated half way through the year, but he didn't get a X.5 birthday card grin

62Granny Fri 19-Aug-22 17:34:37

I usually try to thank whoever has sent me a card usually by text unless I am going to see them in the next few days.

Treetops05 Fri 19-Aug-22 17:33:47

We have 2 nieces with children. When we send Birthday/Christmas or Easter money from niece one or her children we receive a card (hand written by them, or their children, as appropriate). Niece 2 never responds and neither do her children. However both nieces live in East Anglia and drive within 3 miles of us to visit relatives just down the road from us in Cornwall...and never visit. As we live with their Grandfather/Great Grandfather he has stated that this has affected who he has gifted what in his will. It is their choice, but he says if they appeared at his door - he wouldn't know who any of them where, which I find incredibly sad.

Grandmama Fri 19-Aug-22 17:29:06

My daughters send thank you letters after birthdays, Christmas and on other occasions and so do the granddaughters (aged 11 and 21) even to us and the other grandparents. They were brought up to do this as soon as they could write. A schoolfriend and I each treated each other recently and we both wrote thank you letters to each other. I've always sent thank you letters, even to those who never thank me in writing. These are thank you letters for presents - I wouldn't think of writing to thank someone for a birthday or Christmas card.

Skynnylynny Fri 19-Aug-22 15:34:53

Does DD2 get half birthday presents on DD1 birthday as well.

Sawsage2 Fri 19-Aug-22 15:04:13

I like to receive and send cards. You can buy 5 cards for £1 in town.

Happysexagenarian Fri 19-Aug-22 14:23:09

Alioop
If I gave someone a gift in person and they didn't say 'thank you' I'd probably comment on it. I have in the past. There's no excuse when you're right there in their presence! It's very rude and bad manners.

GrannySomerset Fri 19-Aug-22 14:21:10

When DH died in January the cards and letters I received were an enormous help but I didn’t feel I had to write to thank everyone - I had more than enough admin to deal with. I am however still thanking people when I see them even this long afterwards.

Happysexagenarian Fri 19-Aug-22 14:12:23

I still send cards. I buy all mine in September to cover every birthday, anniversary or other occasion through the following 12 months. I like to order personalised cards for our grandchildren or milestone birthdays etc. I keep them in a box in date order and labelled with the recipients name. I very rarely miss an occasion.

I don't really expect thanks for a card, but I do expect (and usually get) a thank you for gifts, usually a phone call, text or email. That's fine with me.

GolferGrandma Fri 19-Aug-22 12:46:46

Mattsmum2
I had only commented today about this. DS & family have just returned to UK after 3 years abroad. I left a “Welcome home” card at the house just before their arrival a week ago. Despite seeing them, even mentioning “did you get the car documents ok?” nothing has been said. Even hand delivered a Wedding Anniversary card to DIL this morning, still nothing! It does make me feel unappreciated. DS knows I always make these special gestures so more disappointing. A verbal acknowledgment is all I needed!

Alioop Fri 19-Aug-22 11:57:55

I wouldn't expect a thank you for a card, but I think it's nice to acknowledge a present. My friend's daughter had a baby boy and I took his present to their home and the daughter didn't even say thank you when I handed her the gift bag. I never received a thank you card, but didn't expect one when she couldn't even verbally say the words. I thought it was so rude.