The elastic nature of time

We celebrated my son’s 45th bday today. As we were leaving, he asked me “Mum, how many more bdays of mine will you celebrate with me?”. I replied “not many darling” and it brought a lump to my throat …….life is a bxxxxr?

BridgetPark. Many years ago I was having a discussion with our eldest grandson about longevity, and I said that I would be sad to miss seeing his children growing up. He immediately replied that it was not a problem because I would be in heaven and I could fly quite easily from town to town or even country to country to check what all the family were doing, and I wouldn’t miss a thing. It made me smile, and I hope it will do the same for you.

I find that increasingly we are using “pegs” from the school/university lives of children/grandchildren to “date” various events, marvelling that it is that long since……………. The problem is soon the last grandchild will have finished, we can but hope there will be engagements/Weddings, births to help our failing memories, that’s if we live long enough!

I have long felt that the circle of life is too fast and sometimes you think, what is it all for? I just don't want to leave my grandchildren, or my children, I want to see all their achievements and be there for them. I don't mind if I just have to sit in a chair and be an observer, at least I will still see them and they would see me. How can we reconcile the fact that we leave them, even though we really want to stay here, and not die? I can get so bogged down in this, it affects my moods, but I can't shake it off some days. Other days I have to tell myself to snap out of it, because there is no answer. I try to find joy in day to day things, but in the end, we are all just pictures in a frame.

nanna8

The older you are, the quicker it goes. No one can convince me otherwise,calendars, clocks or anything else !

I agree with you nanna8.
It doesn't seem like a year since my granddaughter was born and today she was sitting talking on facetime like a woman smiling at her younger siblings' antics.
I don't know why but I now remember things from the past very clearly and in great detail but if I am asked where something is I have to think twice. I can't multitask either
DH is not like this he can barely remember his happy childhood and just seems to live for the present I worry about the future and have many sleepless nights. at how quickly time is passing. Is it a woman thing?

My mum, when 90 years old, used to say, “ But I still feel like I did 50/60 years ago”.

That’s the trouble, we feel the same, not perhaps physically, but in our minds.

It’s life.

Other people's children can change from teenagers to middle aged people without you noticing.

They left for university and we never saw them again until they were doing a reading at their father's funeral.

My son married recently, and we were at another family wedding a couple of weeks ago. Seeing all the 'babies' as glamorous young men and women, with proper jobs, partners and mortgages was lovely, but poignant. My son's best man was at nursery with him what seems like a year ago.

The more recent wedding was during a heat wave, and in the evening the young ones danced the night away whilst we oldies sat outside listening to the band and watching the sunset. It's no time at all since we were the youngsters, and yes, the absent friends were noticeable.

Also, something was on the radio the other day about 'back in the 90s'. I was just thinking 'yeah, that was a couple of years back' when it hit me that it was 30 years ago.

That’s very interesting Chestnut because after reading someone’s perfectly reasonable point that time goes more quickly on holiday, for some reason I thought actually for me, I don’t think it does!
It’s strange because I nearly always really enjoy holidays, whether in this country or abroad, but by the end of a week it seems I’ve been away for longer. Now I know the explanation!

Old family photos are so poignant aren’t they? I still have some of my much loved parents and grandparents and looking through them can make me quite tearful.
I’m sure it’s the same for everyone.

Our granddaughter is 22! I can hardly believe it. She has left uni and is working. Seems like only yesterday that we got the call to say 'It's a girl'.

Thank you Travels. I was going to post the same. It’s all to do with the years we have left, but you’ve quoted Einstein perfectly.

travelsafar

'It’s a relative thing. Einstein theory. As we get older each year is a smaller part of our life. When I was 10 each year was 1/10th of my life. I’m now 67 each year 1/67th of my life'

Found this on the internet which explains a logical reason.

I've always thought our brains are only able to store up to so much in the way of memories which is why we remember things which had the most impact and pleasure and many others are just forgotten.

That's very interesting, but I have heard another theory as to why time seems to go very quickly when you're older.

It depends on what you're doing. When we're young we're packing in lots of new experiences all day long, so the day seems much longer and fuller. This stretches time and makes it seem longer.

When we reach old age we often do the same things every day, an endless cycle of repetition. Each day goes into the next day and we repeat again. As there are no new experiences this actually condenses time and makes it seem to go quickly.

If you want time to stretch you need to do lots of new things every day! Not so easy at our age. But this can happen when you're on holiday. Doing lots of new things or travelling around makes the time stretch and you feel like it's a long holiday. Lying on the beach every day reading a book will condense the time and make the holiday seem shorter.

I hope I've explained that properly. I understand what I'm trying to say anyway.

I can relate to all of the above .

When when covid struck my eldest grandson was 6, now he is 9 and going to to Yr 5 primary school. One more year and he will be getting ready for senior school.

Covid (for me anyway) seems to have somehow pressed the fast forward button, unfortunately I can not find the pause button. ?

I saw a post on Facebook the other day which pointed out that 2022 is as far from 1970 as 1970 was from 1918. Now the logical part of my brain knows that that is indeed correct, but part of me is going "what?"
On a more personal note, my GS started Primary 1 this week and will be 5 in a few weeks' time. It seems like only yesterday that he was born.

I am doing some research on the Ancestry website. Seeing the names and other details of my grandparents makes me want to cry. It hardly seems any time at all since they were here but, since they all passed away, I've been a mother and grandmother. Where did that time go?

Some memories especially emotionally charged ones really stand out for me, and yes, do make it feel like time flies

DD1 will be 50 next year. FIFTY - just can't believe it.

It was both yesterday and a million years ago.

travelsafar That is the very best explanation I have read explaining why time seems to pass so quickly these days.

RichmondPark, I find some old photos almost unbearably poignant. There was one, in the form of a postcard, sent by a friend to a GM, who was 6 when Queen Victoria died and collected postcards when very young.

It was a B&W shot of several young girls, all looking very serious as they posed for the photographer.

But on the back she’d written, ‘We were all laughing so much we didn’t know how to keep a straight face!’

And all dead, long ago now.

I have the same feelings.
My Dad died 20 years ago and Mum died last November, she'd suffered with Alzheimers for the last 7 years so it was a blessed release in 1 way but its like I lost her twice, if that makes sense, and even though she wasn't able to be a 'Mum' in the true sense of the word in her last few years its only now that I find I miss doing things like ringing her for a chat or advice...

I retired early to enjoy my late 50's and early 60's with my husband, children and grandchildren and before the pandemic I never thought of us as being old but found we were classed as such as we were in the 60+ age bracket- and overnight we were deemed at risk and vulnerable- this really knocked my confidence and its been difficult to regain but am getting there now.

I too find myself thinking of happy times when I was a child and have recently had thoughts that there's more years behind me than there are ahead- I never used to think this way. Its reassuring to know others feel similarly.

I've found that as I've aged, I'll get sudden memories of little incidents from the past...some sad and others that can make me smile.

As an example, just drifting off to sleep a few nights ago and a really clear memory of my mum putting her hands under the covers and pulling my pyjama legs down when I was little - I hated the "riding up"!

Does this happen to anyone else?

Oh yes, I agree.

I recently found a photo of my Mum when she was the age that I am now. Such a weird feeling

I am off on holiday for 2 weeks - I guarantee it will go by in a flash!

'It’s a relative thing. Einstein theory. As we get older each year is a smaller part of our life. When I was 10 each year was 1/10th of my life. I’m now 67 each year 1/67th of my life'

Found this on the internet which explains a logical reason.

I've always thought our brains are only able to store up to so much in the way of memories which is why we remember things which had the most impact and pleasure and many others are just forgotten.

Yes, RichmondPark1, I have photograph albums that are almost exclusively full of pictures of people now dead.