How embarrassing!

Some one on Gransnet once said “those that mind don’t matter, and those that matter don’t mind.” I’ve never forgotten it! So true.

Lovely poem!

My grandmother used to say that "dull women keep immaculate homes". Her home was tidy because she had cleaners all her life and never did it herself.

My attitude to housework is that the dust will be there when I am dead and gone!

Quentin Crisp claimed that it didnt get any worse after the 4th year.

Of course a really good neighbour might offer their help too. And if they do don't say 'Oh we can manage', take them up on their offer even if it's just a bit of ironing, dusting or shopping. You could get to know them even better and have a laugh at the same time.

No I wouldn't have been embarrassed, most of our neighbours are used to our untidy home! If it was particularly bad I might ask them to excuse the mess saying that I'd deal with it when I was more able to. As others have said if they're good neighbours they will ignore any mess, it's you they came to see not you home. Wishing you well as you recover

Well if he's doing far more than he used too, good for him Daftbag.

We're all different aren't we, and some of us are more than happy to take control of household chores, it's only when we can't and are used to a certain standard in our homes, that it can become tiresome.

perhaps not to the standard that I would and you don't want to say anything because they're doing their best aren't they.

Good luck with your continued recovery .

Thank you all for the lovely wishes for recovery, and reassurance that the neighbour won't mind.

I'd absolutely love a cleaner but we are on a low income and budgeting for ridiculous fuel costs and this increased food bill that seem to face us.

As for DH, he just doesn't see any mess. I'm trying to teach him how to hang the laundry on the line, and reduce the ironing pile, but basically he is old school. Men don't do housework. He does far more than he used to, but perhaps not to the standard that I would!

Husband is helping?

He should be doing his fair share anyway, it's his home too!

Don't worry about it too much, you have broken your leg.

Your neighbour came to see you, not your house

There are so many more interesting things to do than housework... just enjoy the time you have recovering.. people visit to see you and not to make judgements about the state of your home.. Much more important to be a nice human being..which it certainly sounds like you ..

They come to c u not your home if they are true friends you shouldn't worry as they won't be bothered either way ☺️

I’ve had 10 years of ill-health, including arthritis which makes it difficult to bend down to clean, so my house is completely out of control. I can’t suggest any solutions that others haven’t suggested, except to try and accept that your priority at the moment has to be your recovery. Broken bones take a lot out of you, and your body needs rest to heal. I imagine your leg must be painful as well. If the mess is really getting you down, that won’t help your recovery.

I have a sign by my door that says. I cleaned my house yesterday...sorry you missed it. As a good friend said...'I came to see you not your home'. Your visitor came to see how you were. She knows what had happened and that you are incapacitated. I doubt she noticed and I really doubt that it is as bad as you see it....

Sorry, OP, I meant to add not to worry about a bit of mess. You're recovering, it's been unbearably hot, and I imagine an awful lot of people have looked at the dust/mess in their own homes and simply thought it can go hang until it's cooler and they feel up to it. Your recovery is much more important than anything else. (Flowers)

PinkCosmos, that poem is utterly beautiful and made me shed a small tear. Both my girls are grown and flown and I miss those blissful days, when the housework was happily ignored, with a vengeance.

Worse things happen at sea. I would love a clean tidy homebut due to pain have to have things easily to hand (clutter) It has taken me trhree days to complete deep cleaning of our small bathroom. Other rooms are a lengthier project, so something has to give.

Your husband is 'helping' with the housework? Isn't it his house too? Tell him to improve his skills or to pay for a cleaner!

You are unable to do the housework, so don't worry what she thinks. I live alone and if I'm ill the place has to go to pot for a while, but you soon get on top of it again. Just get yourself better.

Just get better don't worry about it, I bet she didn't give it a second thought. She came to see her friend not inspect the house.
I'm just hip replacement, so I'm not able to do much frustrating at times but hey ho I have to get over it.
DH doing his best and thankfully I have a wonderful cleaner, weekly.
But you have had Builders in.. Dust will still be there hanging around for months! Agree look at a deep clean or a cleaner for a while until your up and about.
Just get yourself well and don't fret about mess. Best wishes

J52

Why not treat yourselves to a professional deep clean after the builders have finished. A lovely fresh start for when you’re feeling better.

Good wheeze

Oh pinkcosmos that poem is just priceless, should be issued with every pack of nappies

I am in entire agreement with Judy54. I doubt that the visiters ever notice the state of the house even though you can see every speck of dirt, and if they do, will write it off to your current disabled state.

Do not waste more than a passing thought on the subject, in fact forget the passing thought as well. People spend far too much time getting embarrassed about things that no one else even notices.

Just concentrate on getting well.

Why not treat yourselves to a professional deep clean after the builders have finished. A lovely fresh start for when you’re feeling better.

One of the nicest friends I have blows the dust off things so you can see them better. I stopped worrying about her coming to mine.
Get well soon.

Pink Casmos, thanks for the lovely poem!

Yes under normal circumstances I like our house to be clean and tidy but when ill health hits there has to be compromises. It is very kind when friends and neighbours want to pop in and say hello and I am sure that they don't notice the mess. Perhaps they live in untidy houses too! Great that your Husband is trying to do his best but as you are having Builders in soon I agree wait until they have finished and you are better and then have a Spring clean. Wishing you well soon.

For Franbern

Hope this doesn't infringe any copyright. My mum gave me a copy of this when my children were small.

Babies Don’t Keep

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

Author: Ruth Hulburt Hamilton