Invitation - financial embaressment

Thank you all for your very kind advice. I'm going to text her to say I'll be unable to attend and then send some flowers and a card saying have a great time ?

Sorry to jump in after you've made your decision; could you consider using National Express - other coach companies available - rather than taking the train, it might work our cheaper.

Either way, be honest with your friend, she will value that above all else in my opinion.

I have a thing about this! People inviting friends and family to very expensive occasions. I know a young lady who decided to get married in America (can't remember where) which put friends and family in a difficult position. Her brother was simply unable to afford such a trip and was very sad about declining. I felt so sorry for him. Why not get married in the UK and then travel abroad for the honeymoon? I don't feel it's fair to expect people to fork out large sums of money for your event.

PS: It was Las Vegas.

As a close friend she wouldn't have wanted to not invite you to her special party, so it's lovely that she did, but I agree with others that you just say thanks for remembering you and that you'll be thinking about her on the day, but that you can't afford to be with her... certainly not unusual nowadays...

I do sympathise with your dilemma, as one who has many times had to attend occasions far away and paid a small fortune out. These have been family events which have been absolutely unavoidable unfortunately! The last one, where I stayed for a few days in a self catering place, cost me the equivalent of a weeks holiday abroad all in! I think your friend will understand the reasons why you are unable to attend, especially in these times that are so difficult for some and the constant question hanging over travel anyway. Send her flowers, your love and good wishes and, as a friend, that should be enough.

Just be honest about the cost. You can send her flowers with a card if you have the money.

I think you can buy a railcard that gives you a good discount off the price of all train fares. Also sites like booking dot com often has cheap hotel rooms.
Might help make is viable

Theres no shame in telling her you can't afford it. However have you looked at a coach fare and a cheap Premier Inn or Travel Lodge. If these are also not possible then just tell her the truth and send a gift. Maybe you could send something she really wants via Amazon.

I too say: be honest. Thank her kindly for the invitation and say briefly that with all the rising prices you simply cannot afford either the journey or the hotel.

As a close friend, she may well not really expect you to afford the journey and hotel, but have felt that she had to invite you.

If you want and can afford it, send her a present, but honestly I thought it was only when declining a wedding invitation thay one was expected formerly to send a gift.

Ask if there is anyone else in yr area who is driving down and if there is a friend with a spare room who could put you up, also, any buses and bus pass bargains?

In the current climate I would hope your friend would understand when you explained your situation. I think a lot of us would be in the same situation

A good friend will understand so be honest. As others have said...send flowers and a card.

I would send her a bouquet of flowers and just say that you are sorry but not available on that date, I wouldn’t be telling her about your financial situation, but then I’m quite a private person, I’d send her a lovely card too,

It can be difficult for the person asking, too. They don’t want you to feel left out, so they send an invitation. They won’t be upset if you say sorry, can’t come. Good friends, especially long standing ones, will understand. Don’t forget to say thanks for thinking of you!

I was invited to a party in southern Germany. The invitation indicated that it was a bit far to come but they didn’t want me to be left off the invitation list. I agreed it was much too far to come and wished them all the best.

Perhaps your friend Piperly is, like mine, not really expecting you to be able to come to the party but not wanting to leave an old friend off the invitation list.

How would you normally see this friend? Do you stay with her therefore no accommodation costs? Having travel and B&B cists outs a different complexion on a visit. Just be up front, tell her added costs, possible travel disruption are not something you are happy to deal with. Anyone would understand especially with the current state of affairs in the country. Some flowers, a hamper, scented candle or something you know she likes after the event should be very welcome.

Tell the truth, that the trip would be unaffordable but don't tell them how much the cost would be, even if asked, as this might come across as an expectation that they might contribute, which could be embarrassing. Send a lovely card and maybe a well chosen modest gift, like flowers, a pot plant or plant for the garden, nice chocs or a bottle of fizz, as this can be done by post and perhaps a phone call a few days on advance to wish the a happy celebration.. None of these gifts would be house clutterers and are normally considered thoughtful
gifts, and enjoyed by nearly all recipients.

Suzi hi what a great idea

Only trouble with the expense route is that she might offer to contribute to the cost which could be embarrassing. I'd go down the route of 'never explain, never complain'. Thank her warmly but unfortunately you will be unable to attend. It doesn't matter why but saves embarrassment all round. Sending a gift or flowers on the day is excellent.

I would thank her for the invitation and just say unfortunately you won’t be able to make it. You don’t have to reveal your financial circumstances if you’d rather not. I’m sure she has sent out a number of invites but probably won’t be expecting everyone to accept, especially those who live some distance away.

I agree with others, you should definitely send flowers and a message in a nice card to mark the occasion.

As said in other posts. Do not lie!!! Be honest and apologetic. I’m sure she’ll understand. If not, she’s not a friend then is she. You’ve nothing to lose and plenty to gain (250 in your pocket and finding out what an understanding friend you have).

These invitations are getting out of hand- a recent wedding invitations would have cost us around 1.500 pounds Flights, Hotel, Spending money, clothes, present etc---we politely declined, but what happened to keeping it local and simple? To enable loved ones to participate!

I consider these invitations both presumptuous and outrageous, to embarrass friends and family by assuming that they are in a position to spend large amounts of money on celebrating an event however special. If they are not prepared to pick up the bill then they cannot actually afford their grandiose plans. If they really want these people to be with them then they need to arrange a simpler, less expensive event.

Do any of the coach tour companies do holidays to where your friend lives from where you live.? They seem to be remarkably good value with travel and accommodation.