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What to do about Skype friend?

(12 Posts)
LRavenscroft Wed 07-Sept-22 15:54:35

I have a Skype pal who I met on a holiday in Spain about 20 years ago. She is a Canadian so from across the pond and we Skype about every couple of months. For years it has been fine but recently, as she is getting older, I groan whenever she suggests a call as she goes on for hours about herself, her new home on a retirement village and all her matching curtains etc. I can't get a word in edgeways. What to do?! Apart from that she is a very nice, kind lady and I feel terrible for feeling like this.

Barmeyoldbat Wed 07-Sept-22 16:44:42

I would just go along with it if it’s only every couple of months but maybe tell her at the start you can’t talk for long.

Callistemon21 Wed 07-Sept-22 16:54:26

Set the timer on the oven and say it's been lovely chatting but you have to go, dinner's ready.

LRavenscroft Wed 07-Sept-22 17:58:47

Brilliant ideas. Thank you for your advice.

Luckylegs Wed 07-Sept-22 18:05:33

I have a friend similar to this in New Zealand who is on her own and I feel so sorry for her but she wants to talk early in the morning or after 11 pm which is convenient for her hours. The trouble is, it doesn’t matter if I say I can’t talk long or whatever I say, it’s always an hour and a half minimum. It doesn’t matter to her as she can just sleep in in the morning. So, consequently, I avoid talking very often which defeats the object of trying to jolly her along a bit! I’m overdue to ring her now and I’m leaving it and leaving it……..

MerylStreep Thu 08-Sept-22 09:24:22

I use ^your breaking up, can’t hear you, oh she’s gone ( to myself) ?

henetha Thu 08-Sept-22 09:38:54

I would find that annoying. I don't even like long phone calls.
But it's difficult to cut someone off when it's someone we love, or is vulnerable. Some good ideas above.

Esmay Thu 08-Sept-22 09:54:42

Good ideas from gransnetters .
It's tricky when you really like the person and treasure your friendship, but dread the boring monologues and don't want to offend them .

If only I'd had Skype-
I used to meet up with an old friend ,who always had a huge collection of very badly taken photographs in her enormous handbag .
After lunch ,she'd get them out and I'd have to admire each out of focus blurred image with a long accompanying explanation .
"This is my nephew ,Robbie. Can you see the family resemblance - oh dear I've cut his head off ! "
"This is Doris -remember my chiropodist ?"
"No ."
"It's her ex SIL well not really ( long explanation ) - can you see the detail on her dress ,that I gave her ? Oh dear it's a bit blurry ? "
"And these are my new chair covers ,can you see the pattern ?"
Er , not really as they were completely covered in Lego , comics , clothes and books !

After two hours ,I'd get out a few snaps of my brood .

"Can't stay much longer . I've got a train to catch ! ", she'd excuse herself .

Callistemon21 Thu 08-Sept-22 10:16:44

Esmay ???

Matelda Thu 08-Sept-22 12:50:46

I have a number of foreign Skype friends through learning languages online, and these friendships have endured for many years. All these calls last for one hour and take place by appointment once a week. It even works for calls to my sister! These friendships thrive on one hour a week, and if there does not seem to be enough to talk about, then I would recommend picking a book both like and reading through it, taking turns. This is an easy way to make the lives of possibly isolated or lonely people more meaningful by putting a bit of structure into the week.

Beechnut Thu 08-Sept-22 13:04:14

You should have got yours out first Esmay ?

Esmay Sun 11-Sept-22 10:49:49

Good idea - Beechnut !