Don't watch street harassment in silence - ask 'Are you Okay?'

Right there with someone …. In February a young ‘man’ tried to mug me in an alleyway ….” give me your bag “ he said” NO “. I said ….”get a job” ….. he then made a grab at my bag …and I punched him, right in his face!!! He ran off screaming he was “gonna call the police”….. always stand up for yoursef!! What else can we do if we want to respect ourselves. My granddaughter ..aged 9 now calls me Gangsta Gran!!

Dilemma this one.
On one hand nobody wants to see a shouting match escalated to a bad conclusion
On the other hand nobody wants to get a smack in the chops for being concerned
On the third hand(?!) Having 999 ready is a safe bet.
I always advised my DS (4OF THEM) TO BE CAREFUL! They can't help if they too take a beating , so watch and call for help asap , and in DH experience as a cop abused women so rarely press charges it's a joke.some have even attacked police sent to help them!!! So caution always , you can't help of you're out cold!!

Problem with intervention is what happens afterwards. A beating at home for telling someone? Loss of home/kids if it escalates? What if bullied partner is willing to tolerate it to maintain status quo? Maybe it IS just a one- off fall out? I spoke to my lady from opposite side of a small table. If partner had returned he wouldnt have seen I was talking to her. But what if he had? SO much to consider. Just sickens me that this behaviour still goes on ?

Years ago I looked out of my window to see a guy beating up a young girl. My mum was visiting and I just shouted out ‘Watch the baby I’ll be back in a minute!’ And off I ran!

The guy stopped hitting her when I appeared and she was absolutely distraught. He told me to ‘Go away before I beat you too!’

I wasn’t scared and told him I had three brothers who were on their way over who would kick his backside for hitting a woman!’

He thought about it and decided to run off. I stayed with the girl while she called the police from the phone box and they came and took her off in the car.

When I got back and told my Mum she went mad, saying ‘You have a 5 month old baby here - you need to think before you jump in to help!’ And she was right, I didn’t stop to think.

30 years on, would I do it again…?

Probably. I hate to see stuff like that - and it’s a natural instinct to help

My sister has always told me to leave it, it's none of my business, but sometimes I just can't. Bullies and lechers are hateful.

I have been doing this since I was about 8 when i witness my dad beating my mum up many times.

I have always stepped in when others “won’t get involved” . Many times though the victim has turned on me along with the perpetrator but not always. I have support many female students out of bad situations .

I will always stand up to bullies or perverts , A few weeks back I saw two young girls in tiny shorts being hit on by a guy, they were clearly uncomfortable so I just said “girls are you ok is this attention wanted” they said no so I said “they said no so go” then others got involved and the guy went off calling the girls some terrible names.
Sometimes I have been over emotional and put myself in danger but now with mobiles it easy to take pictures and call police. There is also a lot more support out there to make sure victims get help.

I saw a woman at a gig being belittled and verbally bullied by her increasingly inebriated partner. I watched from a distance and when he went to the toilet i approached her and, from a distance, asked if she was OK or needed help. She was obviously very nervous and said all OK. I said I was aware of the situation and was worried about her. She assured me she was fine, and I walked away before he returned. Another woman came over to me and said she had been watching too and should we do anything. But what could we do? He came back from toilets and picked up where he left off. ??

Of course I’d ask.
One experience of a ‘mind your own business’ response would not silence me again. It’s our duty to support each other and not walk buy.
Think of the Good Samaritan
It’s a sad time when some even consider walking away and ignoring a fellow in need.

Some years ago, I was driving my 2 daughters and a friend of theirs to a nightclub in my husbands brand new company car (a very solid Mercedes) when we saw a young man pushed down onto the pavement and then 3 or 4 lads started kicking him. I did the only thing I could think of and drove the car up the pavement towards the fracas. Luckily, the lads were so surprised they ran off without waiting to see who was in the car and the one on the pavement got up and also quickly disappeared. I was terrified that they would start on us (or the car!!) but just couldn't do nothing. Luckily it worked! I don't know what I would have done if I had been on foot. I also didn't report it to the police as I was scared they might ticket me for dangerous driving.

Agree with BigBertha1 and NotSpaghetti

Sorry I said kids of 13 yes and of 23!!!!

Of course 99% of people ask if they're ok, if not do what needs to be done. In the dangerous tho, kids of 23 with knives? They stab first ask questions later, scary.

I would- and if I felt it wasn’t safe enough for me to do so, then I would definitely be ringing 999.

The poster is not specifically adddressing our age-group of people, or any age-group.

That said, the operative words are, "if you feel save doing so"

It depends on the situation, whether there are others people present than only the person being harrassed and the one harrassing, and on whether you have any training in coping with this kind of thing.

Phoning the police is, or should be, an option.

I read recently of a young woman cycling through a park a little before 8 a.m. She saw a couple struggling behind a bush, and as the girl was kicking and lashing out while a man was trying to remove her jeans, it hardly looked like consentual sex.

It wasn't, and by calling out, "Shall I phone the police" she prevented a rape. The man ran off, but as both women could describe him, he was later apprehended and charged with attempted rape - so yes, react if you safely can, or simply go round the corner before phone 999!

I was once followed off a night bus in London by a very drunk young man. He followed me to my nearby block of flats, then grabbed me and attempted to kiss me. A man who lived in the block came by and asked if I was all right. Being very young I stupidly said yes. and he went away. But the drunk had been disturbed and was off guard. I shoved him hard in the chest and he fell into a bush. I then ran to the block and made my way into my flat. I was trembling like a leaf.

Personally, I would always do something...

A few year's ago my brother was assaulted quite badly on a local Metro here in the North East.
He was sitting quietly, reading a book after finishing work. He heard shouting and as he looked up was punched in the face, the person then attempted to drag him to the doors, no doubt to get him off the Metro and continue the assault....one person tried to help and the person jumped off at the stop.
I dread to think what could have happened if the person had got him off the train...
So, my view is if it was a friend or loved one of yours, you'd hope someone would act.
There's always something you can do even if it's calling emergency services.

If it isn’t safe to intervene, phone the Police but after that take some photos on your phone, the Police might need them.

I have done this and would do it again.

I've done this a couple of times and would do it again probably without hesitation...That's just me

I agree hithere and here in the US, it can get rather interesting. My DD was reading her book and had her ear phones in, but was not unaware of her surroundings because girls learn early, and he still interrupted her. People can be rather forceful about religion.

Luckily all turned out well. I am proud of her for being willing to stand up to help another young girl, and standing up for herself.

Good for your dd!

Unpopular opinion - I personally do not like being talked about religion in public by a person I do not know
I do not feel it is as harmless as it seems.

It could be a very dangerous situation or nothing- what if you tell the person you are not interested and they become agitated?

My daughter was on the train home from her school today and noticed a man talking to the young women. She decided to try to make eye contact with the girl and, if the girl DID make eye contact, DD was going to pretend to know her and interrupt the interaction.

Turns out this man was harmless and wanted to pray and share his message of the lord.

It is difficult to make the decision on when to help, but if you can then you should.

And by "if you can" I mean, if you feel safe or comfortable doing so.

I think you do have to be careful, particularly now we are older and not so fit as we once were. If it is bad the best thing to do is to ring the emergency services and report it. These people who shout and carry on are often not rational and are just as likely to pull a knife or gun on you which wouldn’t help anyone.

Lyng17

The poor thing could have been terrified and I am sure she appreciated it.

i don't know. i remember a few years ago a man on a bus was throwing chips at another passenger's GF.
BF protested and told him to stop doing so.
whereupon the thrower got up and fatally stabbed the BF.
metro.co.uk/2007/11/22/chip-thrower-admits-bus-knife-killing-546509/