Making new friends!

Search for local friendship groups on Facebook, or Google meetup groups for your local area. Join some local clubs and groups of interest

GrannyBearl, such a sad post.
Has something happened between you and your DD to cause this sudden change. Could you carefully ask if you have upset her in some way?

GrannyBear1, sorry to hear about your difficulties.
i think volunteering at a school is a good idea, but definitely not at the one your GC attend.
there may be other opportunities to utilise your caring abilities, contact a local volunteering group.
good luck.

Around here there are groups of people of our age who go walking together once a week. You can probably find something similar where you are.

You may also be able to find a group that goes cycling if you prefer.

You could be fortunate volunteering, but there again you might just land in the kind of place that is a hot-bed of gossip, back-biting and in-fighting, as many of the charity shops in my experience are.

(other children's ) grandparents are often welcome in the kind of club that helps children with homework.

Are there no schemes in your area, where active 70+ people like you and me can help those of our age or older who are less mobile do their shopping?

Blueangel, I had goosebumps reading your post as, at least the beginning part, could have been written by or for me.

I too had been heavily involved in helping to look after my Grandchildren until recently. I used to help every weekday, from 9 am to 7 pm. I went on holiday with them every year but was told this year by my daughter that they wanted to go on their own. Before anyone has a go at me, I did understand this.

However, after their return, I have been been excluded more and more, have been told not to go to the childrens' birthdays (although I am still expected to buy lots of expensive presents) and since the older children have returned to school, my daughter told me that she doesn't need me to help with the little one, aged just over 1 year old. She then said that as she does't need me, she doesn't want me and I am only to go 3 times per week after school, to help with the difficult time while she cooks and the boys are tired, hungry and tend to fight and argue. I do appreciate that I am lucky to see my Grandchildren at all and that 3 times per week is a whole lot more often than many people get.

However, I have been bereft, have no friends and am very introverted, so as Granless has pointed out, it is difficult to join groups. My daughter was very cross with me when I told her this and that I didn't fancy the bingo & board games group in our village anyway.

I wouldn't mind volunteering at the Grandchildrens' school, but cannot bring myself to ask about doing so for fear I might burst into tears while explaining why I want to do so. I spend almost all day every day in tears as it is and tend to just hide away. I am 66 and a widow.

Good luck, Blueangel, I hope you find something to give you a purpose in life.

How about couples? How do you meet other like-minded couples.
Any ideas gratefully received.
I'm sure like us, couples have friends who have moved , or will soon be going , many miles away, or inherited a lot of money and therefore now have a different life that doesn't include us.
We love to socialise, but only really now have 1 other pair we know to do things with, who are really busy

Have you got Clover classes where you live as they specialise on the older gen?

I agree with Lathyrus that joining things does not automatically mean you make friends. Acquaintances, yes, people you can chat with, look forward to seeing each time, but it is a big step to actually becoming friends, or being included in a coffee or lunch invitation.
Since the pandemic, three people I used to meet up with from time to time have not made contact or replied to my contact. Now that groups are meeting I look forward to that bit of contact, but it does not translate into anything more.
But enjoying what you do, how you spend your time is essential, be it an interest group, volunteering etc.

I agree that joining something where you can be doing rather than having to converse is much easier if you are not an extravert. Try something like pottery, art or singing, line dancing or if you are energetic, Zoomba. I belong to two community choirs where you do not have to audition or be a good singer. Some members are less than tuneful but we are eighty strong so faults are acceptable! People come from a large area and many friendships have been made.
Our gardening club is my go to activity to meet like minded people and we are mostly pensioners. We have a monthly speaker, trips and those have to include tea and cake.

Granless

It’s wonderful to suggest “join this, join that” … but … if you are an introvert, carrying out these suggestions in itself is difficult.

I agree. The self-confidence that enabled me to join a drama group and make friends in my twenties, no longer exists for me to fall back on.

I’ve also suffered from friends who want to meet up merely to offload! (As a PP describes) I was exhausted last time I met up with someone for ‘coffee’!

Friends do move on, and if you’ve been absorbed in child care, you may have dropped off people’s radar. I’d suggest keeping in touch, for when they remember you exist! I’m sure nobody has decided to move on from their friendship with you, but have you, yourself, become unavailable for meet-ups?

I too recommend U3A. Where I live there are many groups catering for a wide range of interests. The activities take part in the daytime and are for retired people.
I also very much enjoy volunteering as a welcome host and usher at my local theatre. There I meet and work alongside people of all ages and I particularly enjoy mixing with younger volunteers.
It is always difficult doing things for the first time but the benefits are worth the effort!

My daughter is only 25 and has moved to a new area because of work, she’s really struggling to make new friends ?

U3A is not my cup of tea but I took myself to knit and natter, not expecting much, it was the first meeting, daytime and just a few minutes walk away, in the centre of my little market town. Nine people turned up and I cannot tell you how quickly the 90 minutes flew by. Everyone loved it. We have asked for it to be held more regularly and now it will be every two weeks. More people will come, I am sure

That was an excellent start for me as my activities are mainly solo such as cycling and gardening and it was so lovely to chat with all ages and experiences

I don't know about where you live but here in essex there are several groups on meetup.com that always have things going on and I found it a great way to make friends.

Local (amateur) theatre companies usually welcome volunteers. You may not want to act, but there are various backstage opportunities (props, prompt, wardrobe, etc) or being a steward to welcome the audience, check tickets, sell refreshments, etc.

I love being involved with my local theatre company (I do a little acting) not least because of the range of ages and backgrounds we have within our membership of about 140. Being part of a team delievering a successful production is very satisfying.

wards being hospital wards!

I asked the RVS (was WRVS) for volunteering jobs, and turned into a 'trolly dolly' taking snacks and newspapers around the wards. I soon made a lot of new friends, we go out for coffees, and sometimes lunches on special occasions. Yes volunteering is the answer.

I’m not sure joining to make friends works very well.

It’s much more effective to join something you are interested in and then when people ramble on, at least they are talking about something you want to talk about?

And you are doing something you enjoy even if you don’t make any friends.

Used to go to aquarobics classes. U3A. Walking group... Look at local council for groups in your area. Facebook?

Another vote for U3A, I have made lots of friends there and they are very welcoming. We have a quarterly open meeting which welcomes people thinking of joining where you can meet people and find out what is going on.

It’s wonderful to suggest “join this, join that” … but … if you are an introvert, carrying out these suggestions in itself is difficult.

Have three very close friends. Two live one suburb over, the other the other side of the world , one pen pal .
Husband and I are both retired. It may sound dreadful but I don't want any more. I am a dreadful friend . Quite happy to have holidays by myself or with friends.
Not sure if being a navy brat , moving often , and also an only child.
However having said all that , the local libraries have many various learning classes. Free or small fee

I have moved to a new part of the country where I knew nobody. I joined various groups (e.g. book group, knit and natter, over 50s dance, Tai Chi, U3A.) After a year, I now have a variety of acquaintances, but I can't say I have made any new friends. I don't have anybody I could ring up and say, "Fancy meeting for lunch?" However, one thing I have become very aware of is the number of women over 65 who just love the sound of their own voices. On and on they ramble, telling you what they had for breakfast and lunch and what they are going to have for dinner and how they will cook it....... I don't care! Just stop talking about yourself!
So, in many ways, I don't miss having friends that much, I do enjoy my own company!

Groups like U3A and Probus are good depending on where you live, their range of activities and the people they have already attracted. I found one Probus group incredibly cliquish and moribund but U3A very welcoming and interesting. Try them out.

You could join your local U3A which has a host of different interest groups. I believe me,Bershka to U3A is £15 annually and then you pay (a small amount) when you attend each interest group. I would pay e.g. 50p to attend Play Reading ( which was held in someone’s house), just to cover the cost of tea and biscuits. Hope this info is of help to you.