Guilty Feelings About Trivial Things.

tanith

When my son was 11, he’s 46 now, he was due to go on a school trip to Spain. I was in full time work about to break up my marriage of 20 yrs to his Alcoholic Dad and I missed a meeting about the trip and enquired on the phone about a passport and the stupid person I spoke said they would be going on a school group passport I thought no more about it.
On the day I took him to catch the coach of course they asked me for his passport, no one owned up to giving me the wrong information, devastated wasn’t the word. My by then separated husband and his girlfriend completely blamed me and to this day I remember the look on my poor sons face as the coach drove away without him.

I didn’t fill in the appropriate forms to get my son a place in hall for his first year at uni. I,too, was in the process of separating from his father and my head was all over the place. Thankfully they did find a place for him but the night when I realised my mistake was a long sleepless one till I was able to phone the uni.

Women seem to be conditioned by nature and nurture to feel badly about things they have done or said.
I do wonder if any men on Gransnet would have a comment for this discussion.That would be interesting to see.

I met a lovely boy when I was 16 and I think he was 17. He was from the Isle of Man on holiday to Scotland visiting family. We wrote for the next year and then my parents took me to the Isle of Man on holiday but also allowed me to take a friend. We met up with him and I was a bit taken aback by his very hairy appearance. He realised and said that he’d take it all off and we arranged to go out. He said he’d bring a friend for my friend. The next evening she said she wasn’t going and would be attending a concert in the nearby church. I, in my stupidity thought she knew better and stood him up, going with her. I’ve never forgiven myself. I often wondered how his life went and recently did a bit of searching and found that he’d passed away a few years ago. I just wish I’d written and apologised. ?

I still feel guilty about ditching my long term teenage boyfriend when I started work and he was a clever and serious minded sixth former - no money, not much time and little fun. His parents had been so kind to me after my mother died and they deserved better than my just cutting off contact, but at 18 I didn’t have the skill to behave better. Still feel bad about it more than 60 years later. Suspect the boyfriend could have done better than me!

When we just had two children, I booked tickets for the local pantomime.
After a few weeks DD asked when we were going ? I had completely forgotten all about it, and we had missed it.
Every now and again around C........ time, I think of it and feel guilty.
They are now 59 and 56. I think I have been forgiven.

Could you have let him know you'd found the 'wretched book' by returning it by post to his parents' house with a note just saying "Sorry, I had it all the time."

Then you needn't have felt guilty all these years.

I sometimes still feel really mean for having said ‘No!’ to my younger brother (only 4 or 5 at the time) who’d come into my room in the very early morning asking to come in bed with me, because he was cold. Probably winter, in pre central heating days.
He’s coming up to 70 now!
Maybe I’ll ask him next time I see him, whether he remembers and has borne me a grudge ever since! (If he has, it’s never been apparent.)

When my son was 11, he’s 46 now, he was due to go on a school trip to Spain. I was in full time work about to break up my marriage of 20 yrs to his Alcoholic Dad and I missed a meeting about the trip and enquired on the phone about a passport and the stupid person I spoke said they would be going on a school group passport I thought no more about it.
On the day I took him to catch the coach of course they asked me for his passport, no one owned up to giving me the wrong information, devastated wasn’t the word. My by then separated husband and his girlfriend completely blamed me and to this day I remember the look on my poor sons face as the coach drove away without him.

That is called having a conscience above and beyond the call of duty Calendargirl
I do have some regrets, who does not, but thankfully not very trivial things, otherwise I could be worrying about them all day.I expect he moved on fairly quickly to other girls and other books.