Soaring heating costs, what's your plan.

I saved the economy millions for caring for my daughter at home for so long. I see how much her care costs now. I'm not even remotely or feel in any way guilty that I claimed the £60 a week carers allowance whilst I worked part time as I wasn't getting any respite or sleep. I can count on one hand the amount of times my family had my children for me and that is fine, they were not cut out for helping out or had their own work commitments. I don't think I am less important or more important than anyone else. But it is a fact that I could have just let the state care for my daughter and it would have cost a fortune

As Norah said, some people do more than one job, especially if their main job isn’t well paid.

I could perfectly well have paid for childcare but it was my, and my parents’, choice not to do so, so don’t throw that one at me Jane.

Good point Monica, especially as many of us on here are over 65 ( and my DH has heart issues) I’ll take that on board and maybe sneak the thermostat up a bit higher without guilt. Perhaps my padded cowl is giving me the hood effect Casdon- it’s certainly very cosy. I often wear a scarf loosely across my face in winter to warm air up before I breath it ( I’m asthmatic).

Good point Jane Judge!

All of those jobs have great meaning and are caring, essential jobs, too. Meaning that caring people with compassion and empathy are much needed- and yet can be badly paid through no fault of their own.

Some people are horrible to those they deem "beneath them", yet there will be a time when they need at least one of those people to help them. Everyone will need a carer at some point, I imagine. I hear that some people are abysmal to carers. Appalling behaviour. No one is so superior that they won't need their bum wiped one day.

So Norah your husband had two jobs to make ends meet, what did you do

It's interesting to me that I'm frowned on for working in a career I'm very qualified to do and worked hard towards instead of perhaps, the people who set wages for such a role.

Also frowned upon by an energy crisis and financial crisis that impacts lots of people, having impacted me and made me tighten my belt a bit.

Yes I stayed at home when my children were younger and claimed tax credits which enabled me to do so. I'm not sure why I should be ashamed for doing something many mothers are entitled to do.

I guess I just base my whole life around how I see children, as an investment.

Not only an investment in terms of what they will contribute to society financially in the future but an investment in raising resilient secure children who treat others with kindness and respect.

If I'm supposed to be ashamed of that then I'm not really sure what it is I was supposed to achieve instead

And I'm not sure I want anything to do with it

WOW free childcare! Wonder how much money that saved. Bit judgey to complain at others who don't have family to help out.

I wouldn't have let my parents make me work so hard and value money over precious time with my kids. They are only little for a short time and no amount of money can replace it.

BTW ROBERT DYAS HAS LOADS OF THOSE HEATED THROWS

Casdon

Germanshepherdsmum

I’m sure I enjoyed working more than twice as many hours as you and subsidising your lifestyle VS, and many others like you. Someone has to don’t they? Carry on working the hours and doing the little job that suit you. I won’t be sympathising whilst being warm. I’ve earned it.

You’ve gone too far, that is one of the most patronising posts I’ve seen on Gransnet. The point of this thread was to support people who are struggling, not to say ‘I’m all right Jack I worked harder than you and I deserve it’.

Yes because we don't need
Health care assistants
Carers
Support workers
Teaching assistants
Childminders
Cleaners
Porters
Retail workers
Transport staff
Dog walkers
Dog rescuers
Waiting staff

add whatever low paid job you think of. Obviously education/health even if low paid are extremely important but it's not me, I think everyone is important but I understand value and not cost wrt people

Germanshepherdsmum

Crikey VS, you’re 25 years younger than me. At your age, and for a good many years afterwards, I also had dependants and was working my backside off. Most people here are retired, on fixed incomes, too old to earn much if anything. Pardon me if I don’t get my violin out,

You already admitted on another thread your parents provided childcare so you could work your arse off. Stop being so spiteful to people who haven't had/lived your life as well as you think you have. It's downright disrespectful

I agree Norah but it seems that most think it entirely acceptable to laugh about staying at home and claiming benefits, then doing an easy little job with long holidays but complaining about the cost of living.

Nah, I'll go for it.

Despicable. Is your middle name Suella? You're just comically offensive now.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

volver

Germanshepherdsmum

32 hours a week and long holidays. Luxury. Your choice but don’t complain when others have no choice.

I've used the word "despicable" once already tonight, so I won't use it again. Tempted though I am.

That goes for Norah's comments too.

My only hope is that you both think you're being satirical.

Why is it satirical to think workers can work beyond 32 hrs a week and over school hols? I think it's acceptable to pay childcare for a second job, needed income. My husband worked 2 jobs, we six had to eat, he had no choice.

Yes that was a very condescending post of GSM. My husband even said "that's a troll, don't answer"

I think VS answered with grace and dignity, well done

VioletSky

Well, if judging my life makes you happy, go for it

But expecting it to actually bother me is a bit much

I'm happy, my children are happy and I love my job

Maybe I'm a little cold on the outside

But some people are cold on the inside

you said it so well VS

Should. Be sorry I Don’t feel that is the cad…. fat fingers

Germanshepherdsmum

I’m sure I enjoyed working more than twice as many hours as you and subsidising your lifestyle VS, and many others like you. Someone has to don’t they? Carry on working the hours and doing the little job that suit you. I won’t be sympathising whilst being warm. I’ve earned it.

You’ve gone too far, that is one of the most patronising posts I’ve seen on Gransnet. The point of this thread was to support people who are struggling, not to say ‘I’m all right Jack I worked harder than you and I deserve it’.

Frankly VS I’m warm inside and out. I’ve more than paid my dues and I continue to do so.

M0nica

Just because we grew up in cold houses doesn't mean that we have to live in them now. Central heating and insulation mean that we now spend far less on heating as a proportion of our income than we did in the past and can afford to be much warmer.

Why do threads like this always end up with a race to the bottom, to find who is living in the coldest houses, wearing the most clothing, It reads like that John Clease sketch of a group of Yorkshire men each competing to prove they had the most deprived childhood.

Indeed, no need to compete to who is coldest.

Well, if judging my life makes you happy, go for it

But expecting it to actually bother me is a bit much

I'm happy, my children are happy and I love my job

Maybe I'm a little cold on the outside

But some people are cold on the inside

Monica. Sorry I feel that is the case, I don’t think anyone is in competition with others, we are all just saying how we manage and there are people I am afraid who have no choice but to live in a cold house as they just cannot afford the bills. The proportion someone on a low wage or income is high and way beyond their income without cutting back on food. VS. for I was a single mum with two children, one of which was disabled and I wasn’t able to leave. So come school holidays I stopped work and term time I did temporary jobs, anything that fitted in with the children. Thankfully they both grew up to become decent citizens

Barmeyoldbat

Because Norah most have a family and children and be;ieve me I know what I am talking about. VS has children, she works in a school, school hours and has school holidays to care for her children. What is she suppose to do during the summer hols, some people have partners who work shifts how do they manage a regular job and children care. One of her children has special needs and believe me it’s not easy to find someone to care for such a child..
GSM as I have said to you before when you commented on my granddaughters choice of jobs, someone needs to do these jobs.

It's different opinions.

If money is short, people who work in schools pay childcare, for hours their children are not in school (hols, non-school hours) and take on a second job. That's what I've seen anyway.

I hope that's not offensive. It seems normal to me.

Younger? I had a bloody hard time until I retired.

Paraphrased from something I saw on another site..

If you had a hard time when you were younger, and think you turned out ok and people today should have it hard too? You're wrong, you didn't turn out ok. Not at all.