Would you downsize to a retirement village ?

Proposed Community development near me would have been ideal. Mix of olders, social housing, families etc. Sadly the funding went pear shaped and local council preferred hefty cheque from luxury homes developer. ?

Forgot to say he is fit and well with lots of outside interests and yet got lonely in the evenings and he isnt locked into the complex people can still come and go!!!.. But should things change with his own health then care can be provided in a way where it will be very easy to still access the amenities on site. Sometimes those in their own homes become increasingly isolated. He has seen that with some of his mates who simply can't leave their homes easily and he wanted to avoid that.

Never say never I'd say. Not for me at the moment but things change. Recently a widower friend moved into a retirement village and loves that he can dip in and out of activities if he choose too , without the angst of going out in the evenings and returning to their car alone late at night yet has his own private home. He can enjoy a garden without the work it envolves. Although there are a few small area that can be used by the community to grow vegetables should they wish. Outside groups visit so lots of young people around too. Recent fall has really knocked their confidence and highlighted their vulnerability. Family abroad and friendship circle narrowing due to friend altered health or their deaths and whilst can visit in the day time to do evening visits are now difficult with some of them having care going in. They were lonely in the evening. Yes it is costly but has a value to them they see as worth it.

I wouldn’t like the ‘closeness’ of neighbours either in a retirement village, but might feel different if I was on my own! Near us I’ve noticed the building of lots of lodge type accommodation…but you can only stay in them for 11 months in the year. we would like to downsize to a bungalow with small garden but none available..keep looking!

When my mother was widowed two years ago, her house in Scarborough was sold and my brother moved her to a non retirement flat in Surrey, where everyone was out all day. She has had several falls since then and I have seen her deteriorate over these last couple of years, as she spends a lot of time on her own and sometimes doesn't see anyone for days. I am now in the process of moving her near me in Oxfordshire into a small and friendly sheltered housing apartment. It is a groundf floor flat and doesn't seem all that small, although it only has one bedroom. She has doors out to her own little garden and is not overlooked. She can live an independent life but if she feels like some company and a cup of tea in the day room then she can. I think its ideal for her. She is 91.

As I said earlier, my MIL had 5 very happy years in hers. She made friends, used the communal laundry room without any issues, ate 3 days a week in the restaurant but had ready meals in her own flat on the other days. Across the road was a GP and pharmacy and shops such as Lidl, Sainsburys etc in walking distance. She was safe at night, secure entry to the building, very good wardens, and she loved it there until she passed away last December at the age of 90. For us, getting older ourselves, it meant we weren’t constantly on call, maintaining her old house as well as our own and constantly worrying about her. It suited her needs. Everybody has different needs. The majority of residents were widows, a few widowers, one or two couples. They all found their own tribes and made friends.

MadeInYorkshire

My Mum. 86 but a fit 86, ended up on her own 3.5 hrs away from myself last year and being disabled myself I couldn't get to her if I needed to in a crisis. She had a wonderful neighbour, BUT we couldn't just leave the neighbour to do everything for her, it wasn't her job, and Mum wouldn't ask anyway! So the difficult decision had to be made, so she sold her beautiful large 3 bed home and garden and has come to live 10 mins away from me. Problem was, her lovely home in Yorkshire was worth about half of the price of property in Wiltshire! We found a very nice over 55's estate in a pretty village - it's a ground floor 2 bed flat with a bit of patio overlooking beautiful gardens and pond, and no communal areas, so you can be as private as you like! She hasn't as yet found a special friend, but chats to all the fellas in the village it seems! Having a small dog helps her to get out and about. She does keep reminiscing, saying she is lonely, BUT she would have been lonely there too as she couldn't spend all her time with her neighbour .... only issue is the service charge is horrific! Just gone up to just over £5kpa. But it is a lovely environment, well maintained, she has her own front door and she feels very safe.

I used to be an estate manager at various sheltered housing developments - if you are considering it, do not go anywhere with a COMMUNAL LAUNDRY ROOM! That was the one thing I had to spend half of my day sorting out - arguments galore! My residents turned into a coven!

I hope that your mother does decide to settle down and be happy. One point worth mentioning is that, as we get older, our friends do simply die. My mother (at 88 when she died) had lost all her good friends so was in much the same position as your's as regards long-term friends.

Personally I wouldn't move to a retirement village, though we have downsized and now live in a flat. I like to live in a mixed community and that is what we have.

There are 2 McCartney & Stone developments near me. One next to the bus station and Bikers' cafe, the other in the town with a busy road outside. Looking at the balconies if the few apartments that have them, they look awful - full of many pots, and 'stuff' that can't be put elsewhete.
Out of curiosity when they were first advertised, my friend and I went to have a look. So small and you had to use the communal laundry facilities - ugh!! Nowhere to be able to dry laundry outside. We found them to be expensive and poor returns when trying to sell, these were also leasehold. I would prefer to pay for assistance and stay in my own home!!
However - 'horses for courses!!'

MissAdventure

So, are you all going to move as your neighbours grow older?

Most places nowadays are aware of the importance of pets to people's mental health, and all the estates I worked on were allowed pets, as does my Mums ...

Ideally it would have been nice to have found a non retirement environment but we've been looking for over 2 years and can't find one. Issues are that there are families with noisy kids, enormous gardens ( i hate grass ), no transport or shops. Older properties need a lot of care and money. So now I'm seriously considering this type of environment. No noisy kids, a shuttle bus to the shops and a manageable home and garden.

My Mum. 86 but a fit 86, ended up on her own 3.5 hrs away from myself last year and being disabled myself I couldn't get to her if I needed to in a crisis. She had a wonderful neighbour, BUT we couldn't just leave the neighbour to do everything for her, it wasn't her job, and Mum wouldn't ask anyway! So the difficult decision had to be made, so she sold her beautiful large 3 bed home and garden and has come to live 10 mins away from me. Problem was, her lovely home in Yorkshire was worth about half of the price of property in Wiltshire! We found a very nice over 55's estate in a pretty village - it's a ground floor 2 bed flat with a bit of patio overlooking beautiful gardens and pond, and no communal areas, so you can be as private as you like! She hasn't as yet found a special friend, but chats to all the fellas in the village it seems! Having a small dog helps her to get out and about. She does keep reminiscing, saying she is lonely, BUT she would have been lonely there too as she couldn't spend all her time with her neighbour .... only issue is the service charge is horrific! Just gone up to just over £5kpa. But it is a lovely environment, well maintained, she has her own front door and she feels very safe.

I used to be an estate manager at various sheltered housing developments - if you are considering it, do not go anywhere with a COMMUNAL LAUNDRY ROOM! That was the one thing I had to spend half of my day sorting out - arguments galore! My residents turned into a coven!

Having supported 5 parents who have become more and more I'll and frail, with frequent falls, not able to drive, I'd say yes, that is definitely where we will go. Along with several of our friends. I don't want to sit alone staring out of the window in my current house or a bungalow. They were unable to enjoy their garden, go for lovely activities, and just waiting for a carer to get me up and put me to bed is a dreadful thought. At least retirement villages are safe, there are carers on site and plenty of people and things to do.

So, are you all going to move as your neighbours grow older?

Absolutely not. I prefer to live with people of a range of ages.

It sounds as if you have lived in one Pippa22. How else could you form such an extreme (and rather vindictive) view.

The pets in properties issue, is much the same in all leaseholds.

Plans to remove the blanket ban on pets in lease agreements through the Model Agreement were first announced in January 2020. The Model Tenancy Agreement including Clause C3. 5 was introduced on 28 January 2021 and is available for landlords to use now.

This Model Agreement is from the Government (who set out the ban originally). It seems a freeholder will only be able to ban pets if they can show an exceptional reason why they should.

The people who live in these places are not another species, you know.

They're just the same as everyone else.

I know I would hate to live in one of those villages, no pets or children. Just peace and quiet, no vibrancy and a lot of old people being finicky! They might not be like that but that’s what I imagine them to be like. It’s not just retirement villages but caravan/ mobile home parks that are restricted, over 50’s only, no children or pets and a string of rules. Expensive monthly charges too for the pleasure of being so restricted. I like hearing children playing and now and again teenagers being noisy and dogs barking. I hate the idea of a sterile community and waiting to die.

I trust I never will need to!

I might downsize, but not to one of the equivalents we have here of retirement villages.

They are hotbeds of gossip and back-biting as it seems it is only old women with far too little to do who live there.

They spend all their time watching whether you hang washing out on Wednesday instead of Monday, whether you cut your hedges on the days they think you should, how often you mow your lawn and so on.

By way of relaxation from sticking their noses into other people's business they discuss illness and death.

It's a OMG NO from me too! My idea of hell and reminds me of the comedy series "Waiting for God" Shudders. I'm not moving anywhere. My story of life has involved fleeing domestic abuse twice.

First time no children. The second time with 4 children. We walked the fires of hell with the aftermath.

Whilst I happily remarried it's only My name on the tenancy which my 2nd husband supports and understands why.

The blood sweat and tears that went into getting this place I wouldn't move. Anyway even if I would no way I would move on one of them.

Each to their own. Not for me. In the words of my late mom who was the same "All her age group wanted to do was sit round talking about sickness the last World War and dieing"

Now it would be "How Brexshit was such a wonderful thing, how they were robbed and how marvelous Johnson was" That is my idea of hell

My family want me to move to be nearer to them. Sounds reasonable but trying to find somewhere where I can play the music I like, read when I want without someone ‘calling in’ checking on me, or the tiny space I would have is daunting! I like my rock music nice & loud as I am going deaf, result of too many loud rock gigs when younger! I like my books & my collection of dragons so need the room for that plus my hundreds of cds! Also so many places for older people do not allow animals! If my girl cannot go then I do not go! So no old folks retirement place for me thank you! Will keep trying to find something similar to what I have now, a small 2 bed bungalow with a mixed community but nearer to my family!

We live in an ex-council retirement/disabled end-terraced bungalow in a leafy/countryside town in Scotland. We only have one bedroom, kitchen, shower room/toilet and lounge BUT we have large gardens, front, back, side which suits us (so far). We only see our own gardens from the house and have french doors to the back garden. There are people of all ages/professions around us and we know a lot of our neighbours who we like. While our preferred property would be on the edge of a village and away from neighbours, we 'd struggle to afford that and it's perhaps more sensible to remain where there are services/shops/library/buses in close proximity.

grannytotwins

Avoid! My father bought a penthouse flat in a small development in the town centre. He hated the lack of variety in age groups. The charges were really high. He finally cracked after three wakes in the communal lounge in a week and bought a new build town house also in the town centre. He loved it. His flat, bought 26 years ago has barely gone up in value and when he sold he had to pay 1 per cent of the sold price back to the freeholders. One retirement development near me is 2 per cent.

That 1% is most likely to be for the sinking fund. Your father will have had it pointed out (or should have done) by his solicitor when he was buying so knew what it would cost him.

If you buy on leasehold, some money has to be taken to go into this fund for the upkeep of the building. The alternative is taking it each year as part of the service charge. This would mean it would come from income and would make such flats even less available to some.

I will say again, not everybody wants or needs the same solution and this air of superiority from the "I wouldn't live with old people" makes me wonder how you expect others to treat you - when you are old or disabled.

We first downsized to an apartment, but found it too confining so we looked around and found this small community of 48 townhomes in the same town close by, each with their own patio and s small garden, but with ground floor bedroom and ensuite as well as bedroom and bathroom upstairs. We all own our homes, but also pay a reasonable monthly fee that covers any repairs needed to the outside (like roof, windows, gutters, landscaping, grass cutting etc). Our neighbours are mostly retired- some are married, some are living alone and range in age from late 50’s to late 80’s. A couple of times a year we get together….a bbq in the summer, a drinks party at Christmas. My husband and i are in our 80’s and it is the perfect choice of lifestyle at our stage in life…..there’s a community feel without choosing to give up our hobbies and our independence. We are happy and so content being settled into a lovely manageable home that offers a perfect living arrangement now we are elderly.