We’ll done, 4allweknow, you won’t regret it. Go with the flow and be gentle with yourself!
What do you find yourself avoiding more as you get older?
Have mentioned DH died in May. Due to him having long term treatment over a few years and he finding travelling quite stressful due to being deaf we hadn't ventured abroad for about 10 years. Now one if my son's has asked if I woukd like to go with him, DiL and GS on a holiday in Europe for a week next year. Would be a fairly grand hotel/resort with plenty to occupy 11 year old GS. This came as quite a surprise and all 3 say they would like me to go. Initially I said No, as I rather feared the prospect of preparing for a holiday in somewhere hot. Then after a few hours I began thinking perhaps I should go. It woukd basically be at least for me a week of lounging, enjoying food being made, and if course the company of family. Then I am back to thinking about all I would have to do to be prepared eg new clothing for hot weather, perhaps socialising with other holiday makers and the panic sets in again. Any advice on whether I should or not and how to go about organising myself for such a holiday. I appreciate family is trying to enable me to have an actual holiday, I am just so unsure.
We’ll done, 4allweknow, you won’t regret it. Go with the flow and be gentle with yourself!
I'm glad you decided to go, 4allweknow and preparations are underway.
You'll have the support of your family so go and enjoy yourself!
?
I totally understand about the preparation. My DH died in February 2021 and my daughter has invited me to go on a Caribbean Cruise which has suddenly jumped up to me rather quickly. 15th November. The thought of trying to get organised (which I really have sort of been doing since April) is scary. What to pack what not to pack its 2 weeks. I am really looking forward to it but the packing part gives me a headache.
I say go and have a great time I'm sure you will love it.
So pleased to hear you have decided to go 4allweknow.
Something to look forward to and during the winter months, browsing online to give you some ideas of summer clothing, something you are comfortable with and feeling good when you wear it.
Come back nearer you holiday and we can make some suggestions of outfits. ?
Great! I'm sure you'll have a lovely time.??
Good decision! And if you want any helpful suggestions, just come back to GN where we will join you in spirit.
That’s good, I bet you have a lovely time.
I'm convinced, I'm going! My passport is valid for a few years yet, just health details and insurance will need to be dealt with. So, so grateful for all the positive comments, no way I can refuse as many of you say, such a kind loving offer.
‘Don't "overthink" things. You'll be fine.’Great advice from Wildswan16 and everyone else. Just do it.
I am not in your position 4allweknow but have been in your son’s when 6mths after my father died we persuaded my mother to come abroad with us, myself, DH and two early teenage DDs. DDs were delighted Granny was coming with us. We had a wonderful time together with a few more similar holidays through the years however, that first holiday was therapeutic for me also, grieving for my father but the joy of watching my mother slowly, in some way, enjoying life again will always be a special holiday for me
You will be surrounded by the love of your family, don’t let this opportunity go.
I would definitely take courage and go. It's difficult and I'm sorry you are now alone. Tell your family of your fears and concerns. And also could friends perhaps help you get ready for the trip?
Generally the fear is the most difficult bit and once you get there it will probably be a lovely break away from home.
I think as we get older we get more set in our routines, especially after a bereavement.
I'd make sure that you had a room to yourself so you can take space if you need it and also tell family in advance that you may not want to join in with everything.
I'm sure they will all understand.
Yes please go. I wonder if,, because you haven’t travelled recently, you’re concerned about staying in a hotel. These have become much more informal over the years and there won’t be any need to socialise. As for clothes just get a few things for warm weather. It’s only a week and you will get the wear out of your purchases here if last summer is anything to judge by!
Please go!
Its lovely they have invited you.
Pack the smallest amount of clothes possible. If you need to you can buy extra when you get there.
Dont let any worry put you off.
You dont know what tomorrow will bring.
Enjoy your holiday.
How lovely to be invited. Do go. Make some happy memories and enjoy spending time with your family.
Oh absolutely go! It will be wonderful. My son took me on holiday after my husband died (even though we were divorced, but had remained good friends), and it was really special.
I do hope you will go. And have a great time.
Don't wish to spoil things, but I hope you haven't been invited along just to act as a baby-sitter?
If not, then go for it. You might regret not taking the chance if you don't.
I am just back from a FAB U LOUS week in Spain with DD2, SIL & early teenage DGD. I followed all the advice above and DD1 came round the night before to help chose & pack and ensure I had medication etc. DD2 had all the documentation and took me through airport procedures, hotel check-in, etc. like a dog on a lead. I just had to 'do what I was told.'
A bonus, not mentioned in other posts, was that I was able to spend quality time with DGD, while her parents had some time alone together as a couple.
Like other GNs here, I would go. It sounds great! Have time with your family and enjoy your GS before the grumpy teenage years set in. Face your fear & do it anyway! Wishing you a wonderful time.
I agree the prospect of preparations can be daunting. I always travelled alone to non package tour destinations and booked my own hotels and flights. The prospect of doing that now on top of all the stress at airports really puts me off. However if you are travelling with other people they will be taking most of the responsibility for planning. You just have to organise your own packing and documents etc. As for socialising you can always excuse yourself if it gets too much. The old travellers excuse of gyppy tummy/jetlag is an excellent way to get some headspace from your fellow travellers.
What a great list Barmeyoldbat. Nice and simple. My only additional thought is trying to get stuff not in need of ironing!
On reading other posts I realise about getting all the official paperwork and insurance sorted out, phew but great advice.
I do hope you'll go 4allweknow. Not only will you have a wonderful time with your family, it will help to build your confidence.
You have plenty of time to plan and prepare for the trip and can start doing that now, by making a list of what you need to do to get there, and what you'll need to take.
Your son and d.i.l. will be on hand to answer any questions you may have and explain any details you're unsure of. Now is the time for making new memories as you continue to treasure all of the wonderful ones you made with your DH.
4allweknow - total concensus here. Ask a friend to help you decide what to pack, take some books to give you and your family a little space, and enjoy. As Calendar girl says, these years with your young family are precious ( and fleeting ). Go, and raise a glass to your dear departed to say thank you for the lovely family you created together.
Yes do go. Make a list of what you’ll need and treat yourself to some new clothes! Maybe an easy to wheel new suitcase too. It will be lovely to stay in a nice hotel with your family. You don’t have to talk to anyone else if you don’t want to!
We applied for global health cards recently (think it was on the Gov.uk website) they came within 2 weeks. They are free- no costs at all. They entitle you to receive the same healthcare as others in the country (in Europe) you are visiting. There may be some health charges but these will not be as much as if you were without the card. Tell your family about them as they may need to get some too!
Oh please go. My daughter and SIL asked me to in holiday with them and granddaughter only 5 weeks after my DH died. I was encouraged by everyone to go, I wont say it was easy and maybe it was too soon but they were understanding I needed some time alone. And my 2 year old granddaughter was a wonderful distraction. We had a villa I don’t think at the time I could have coped with a hotel. They are talking about us all doing it again next year and I will look forward to it.
All I can say about preparation is lists and lists. Buy any things gradually and in advance and remember anything you have forgotten you will be able to buy where you are going. My Dad always used to say all you need is passport money and tickets ( I would add insurance and medication to that).
Absolutely you should go. My DH died in April and we had already booked a holiday with DD and her menfolk for this July. I was reluctant to go so soon after his death, but in the end it was both cathartic and very enjoyable, and yes, the right decision. It will give you something to look forward to, will do you good and the preparation will give you something to focus on. And I found being with my grandson such a joy.
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