Gransnet influence

My U3A has a lot of different groups. I enjoy other people's company and having a topic in common to discuss. I am curious about people and why they come to an event or class. I worked in the area where my U3A is so occasionally I meet ex colleagues. We have a large membership. I belong to the family history group and after several years membership presented a presentation on how I was organising the material I collected so as to write the person's story. In another group on current affairs after I had been to a free conference on the topic I did a presentation on leveling up. I go to creative writing but do not do the home work. That is accepted. I attend other groups. I try to remember a persons name in each group and something they have expressed an interest in and then refer to that on the next occasion. We only meet once a month. I think I'm lucky that the membership is large and this gives lots of opportunities to meet different people. I do not expect close relationships just friendly acquaintances. Each group has a 20 minute tea break and I make sure I talk to someone and hear their news. or comment on the topic. When we have speakers I talk to them after their presentation. Some of them have very interesting life histories. I try to make sure that I speak positively when I converse with other people. I make sure I spend time listening to others. I am fortunate in that I have not had an experience of feeling that I am an outsider.

What I don't understand is, how do U3A groups move forward and progress if they are unwelcoming in the first place? Surely newcomers bring new ideas and vitality, or is that not what is wanted?
I'm sitting here on August Bank Holiday trying to decide --last opportunity whether to be available for supply cover next year, or whether to join groups and societies. At least my foot is already in the door with the former.

This makes me cross and sad!!!
I belong to our local u3a and am now on the committee. I hope we are welcoming, we certainly try our best. At our quarterly meetings the committee have lanyards and we always look out for people on their own. We also hold regular coffee mornings for new members, so as they can get to know each other and how the u3a works. In the groups.
New members are indeed the lifeblood of a u3a, to be welcomed and encouraged,+.

I think what irritates me is that the group I went to was about learning a certain subject. But it had somehow turned into a social group and had forgotten what it’s actual purpose was!

U3a = University of the Third Age
FYI
My local here in South West Wales is very welcoming, but you have to make an effort…it’s no point going along and expecting people who have been going for years to stop chatting to long time friends, and bustle around you. I went along to my first monthly meeting ( where they had a humorous poet I knew giving a performance at the end. I knew no one else, but another lady who had been near when I joined sat next to me and we chatted. I joined Scrabble to start with ( love board games but no one physically to play with ) , then Backammon- had to learn, still learning, then Book Club, and ( so far) one evening meal out. All once a month. I don’t have time for more as I’m only semi retired…but living alone, with family far away, it’s been nice to get out and meet people doing things I enjoy. Can’t say I’ve met any new best friends yet, but overall a very nice and enjoyable miscelllaneous bunch ( I’m 77 and not in the best of health so have to cry off groups occasionally) but one it does, thing apart from forcing me out, is make my sons relax knowing I’m not alone - even tho I’m pretty happy alone!
For those uncertain,make the effort and join a group doing something you already like or would like to try. When there SPEAK to people, many are probably as shy as you are. No good sitting mute!

pandapatch

This makes me cross and sad!!!
I belong to our local u3a and am now on the committee. I hope we are welcoming, we certainly try our best. At our quarterly meetings the committee have lanyards and we always look out for people on their own. We also hold regular coffee mornings for new members, so as they can get to know each other and how the u3a works. In the groups.
New members are indeed the lifeblood of a u3a, to be welcomed and encouraged,+.

By the very nature of U3A, the membership will be older, retired people.

That means that new members are, or should, be welcomed because sadly members will be lost through illness or death.
We've lost three members of one group I go to in a relatively short space of time.

My sister joined the U3A when she retired and I did go to some meetings with her and found them very friendly. There was not one in the village where I lived.
In 1965 I joined the W.I. in Hampshire and was a member until we went abroad in 1980. There were a hundred members from 15 years of age to 95. I was always on the Commitee, produce secretary, or Handicrafts secretary, Vice President. We had different groups such as country dancing.
All very lively.
Returned to U.K., widowed and to a small village. Rejoined..
So different. 15 elderly members who just sat and left after their cup of tea. I was on committee but every suggestion I made to liven them up “you southerners want to change everything we have always done.” I left.

I reluctantly joined my local u3a (University of the Third Age) over ten years ago. I was suffering from depression (I didn't know it then!) after retiring from work earlier than I should have done, and unprepared. It was a life-saver. I was soon elected Treasurer (I was an accountant in a previous life!), it suited me well. Of course, I joined some groups - Family History, Cryptic Crosswords, a Book Group - and soon realised that the "learning" was not the whole story - companionship and a bit of fun was equally important.

The definition given by the Third Age Trust (the parent organisation of u3as) is:

"u3a is a nationwide network of learning groups aimed at encouraging older people to share their knowledge, skills and interests in a friendly environment. There are no exams and no homework, just regular lessons or study groups. It's learning for fun, not with the aim of gaining qualifications."

That said, we all hope to gain some knowledge from the groups, but have fun too. In some groups there is no "leader" but people share the organisation of the session. The leader is not necessarily the best at the subject, nor is he or she necessarily good at leading. The group "co-ordinator" as we call them has the job of agreeing meeting dates, booking rooms, collecting money (if appropriate) and reporting attendance when required for insurance purposes.

Our u3a is widely regarded as being friendly and inclusive and I don't really know why. We have over 500 members and in any organisation of that size there will be different personalities - bold/shy, jovial/quiet, bossy/reticent etc etc. One think I can note about our u3a is that a person's previous job or qualifications are hardly ever mentioned. Some live in 5-bed houses and drive flashy cars, others live in council houses and catch the bus. Some are stylish, others not. It isn't important. What IS important is that everyone wants to "belong" and it seems our u3a gives that opportunity.

Those of you who tried your u3a and didn't find it welcoming, give it a bit longer, and those who haven't yet tried yours, give it a whirl. Of course we have members who joined 20 years ago and are still going strong, and naturally they will have made friends - but they might not be very confident with strangers. It doesn't mean they are unfriendly.

A very good way to be accepted quickly is to suggest a new group in a topic you might be able to contribute to - everyone will love you!!!

A friend who used to live in Suffolk joined U3A several years ago, following the breakup of a relationship. One of the groups that she joined was for walking and they used occasionally to rent a house somewhere for a week to walk in a different area. She thoroughly enjoyed it.

Having moved from a city to a small market town a year or so ago to be near my daughter, I made a determined and conscious effort to make a new life. Looking back, I'm amazed at how many rooms full of strangers I walked into. I found the U3A groups very variable; I have got to know the Chair and suggested that each group have a person or two to look out for and welcome new people. The WI was the worst experience, though. I've learned that if I go somewhere with a friendly manner and a smile on my face and am don't encounter a single smile back, I turn round and leave. Good luck and a big smile to everyone.

I do agree LRavenscroft about Gransnet! I've learned so much, not only in answers to my own questions but very much more in replies to other people's questions. I've found lots of help in making my elderly mother's life better, making my own life better, and in understanding family dynamics. I also get brilliant TV recommendations, petitions to sign, links to items in the news and information from the many knowledgeable experts on here! It is good to share opinions and hear the other side of a discussion.

It is also easy to search for past topics.

An excellent social media group!

We are very lucky in our town that we have a large U3A with loads of different groups. (I run one of them). I think that our group is very friendly and welcoming to newcomers, but then I am not a newcomer so cannot be sure. It is a great organisation though. Apart from the group I run I am a member of Bridge, Recorder and Brush up your French.

The thing with U3A is there are lots of different small groups and if one is unfriendly,another may be very welcoming. I went to an embroidery group once for a couple of goes but that was unfriendly old biddies talking about their ailments and ignoring the newcomers. I joined a different group then and it was like chalk and cheese- totally welcoming. The leaders are amateurs, of course, not teachers so some don’t really have much of a clue re leadership skills but that is ok, no one expects it to be like a University or school!

I've come a little late to the discussion but wanted to add that here in Cyprus an attempt was made to open a Cyprus branch of U3A. This was some years ago and all seemed to go well at first, with branches in the major towns. It didn't take long for the whole thing to break down with disagreements over capitation fees and allocation of funds. The last straw was when the Cyprus government declared that the word University could not be approved in the name as that can only be used by an organisation which issues graduation certificates. However some members decided that the concept of U3A was so good it should continue in some form. As a result, here in Paphos the P3A (Paphos 3rd Age) was formed and has gone from strength to strength ever since. There are a huge number of groups catering for a wide variety of interests and the ones I have joined have all been friendly and welcoming. But I have to admit that might be in part because the vast majority of members are expats of various nationalities and most are retired.
Sorry it's such a long post but I would urge people who want to join U3A to try various groups and I'm sure you will find one with friendly like-minded people eventually.

I have been in clique groups on the past in particular Young Wives ( when I was one) which I tried so hard with for far too long.
Happily our U3a is welcoming there are members who meet and greet new visitors and I felt comfortable joining at Christmas despite not knowing anyone at all.
The monthly meetings with speakers are mostly interesting, the groups I attend are enjoyable and I have met some nice people. What is not to like.

Its a bit old- fashioned an idea but has anyone thought of joining the Womens Institute or WRVS? Im not in it myself but i know they do excllent things as our local hospital has a team of their ladies running the cafe there- and tgey do have meetings etc still, just like they did years ago.

*they

I tried the U3A when I came here to live. I found them most unhelpful and obviously did not want "Incomers" as they called them. What they did not realise was I was more local than most of them with the wrong accent.
I wanted to join a Geneology group and was given a number to phone as they had split into smaller groups. I was passed on from one to another and finally found one who reluctantly agreed for me to join. On the day I bottled out and phoned to apologise, found the phone on answerphone and never heard from them again.
DH joined a photography group which initially was very friendly meeting in a village Hall. They had outings to take photos but all went wrong when told to join the one in the local market town. They held monthly competitions and were so competitive there was no pleasure in it.
My friend joined a local history group and left very soon as they were all "Teachers", as she put it and knew it all anyway.
I have heard people talking in very glowing terms about them. I think it just depends on what group you join.
I find Gransnet you get a balance of opinions and a number of people who want to be friendly.

I joined U3A but every course I was interested in had limited numbers and was already filled by members repeating so I gave up. I now go to a group where I have nothing in common with anyone but they are all nice, friendly people and it gets me out of the house.

Sometimes, sorry to say, I understand why older people wouldn't survive long in the workforce.

A friend once commented to me that it's very difficult as a charity shop manager because of all the staff being volunteers.
Perhaps it doesn't help that many of them are also retired and of an age to have fixed ideas.

MayBee70

Tried the local group again and still felt like an outsider. I don’t understand because, whenever I’ve been involved in anything I always make a point of including someone who’s new. I don’t think I’ll go again.

I'm sorry to hear that.
I joined a U3A walking group as a way to meet people while outdoors.
I'm not an extrovert at all but I just kind of tagged onto others as we walked and it seemed to work out okay.
Perhaps our group is more open to people tagging on.
I hope you give it another try MayBee.

Maybe As there seem to be many u3A groups in the same vicinity might be worth checking on somewhere else nearby.

To be honest I didn’t join it as a social thing. I just needed help and advice about one particular thing and it’s the only reason I rejoined.

FarNorth

^Sometimes, sorry to say, I understand why older people wouldn't survive long in the workforce.^

A friend once commented to me that it's very difficult as a charity shop manager because of all the staff being volunteers.
Perhaps it doesn't help that many of them are also retired and of an age to have fixed ideas.

That was my quote earlier on. Just to clarify, I wasn't criticising the actual group but the non existent response to e mails. I have yet to be successful in being invited!
Though from what I have read here, my enthusiasm has disappeared.

Joseann

FarNorth

Sometimes, sorry to say, I understand why older people wouldn't survive long in the workforce.

A friend once commented to me that it's very difficult as a charity shop manager because of all the staff being volunteers.
Perhaps it doesn't help that many of them are also retired and of an age to have fixed ideas.

That was my quote earlier on. Just to clarify, I wasn't criticising the actual group but the non existent response to e mails. I have yet to be successful in being invited!
Though from what I have read here, my enthusiasm has disappeared.

Yes. I emailed this particular group as a response to something that had happened: I wrote it in the way I always do, quite chatty and informal. But got no response whatsoever. I also mentioned something regarding the very reason why I’d joined the group but there was no reply to it.