Staying put or moving house?

My son lives 400km away. I bought a Senior Rail Card, book my travel in advance and always in Blue periods. I love the journey often getting more time in Lyon so I can wander before the next connection. I visit 3 times a year at least and
now he comes over in the School holidays for the weekend.
I find it a good compromise for both of us. I'll be staying put.

We bought a caravan and put it on a seaside site 2 hours from where we lived. Had lots of weekends there and got to know the area well for 7 years. Then when we retired we sold our city house and bought a house there.
We're lucky with excellent Doctors here, no dentists unless private but my NHS dentist still sees me back in the city. We travel back and stay with our DD for appointments and also visit family every couple of months. They come to us for holidays and weekends quite frequently too.
It's worked out well.
Why not just get a caravan on a site by the sea if you can't face moving permanently.

Aussiegran I’m just so sorry you lost the money which might have meant an easier retirement. We downsized a bit - 5 bedrooms to 3, third of an acre garden to a smallish one - after living in our previous big old house for 30 years. It was near the sea, in a village, but I’m very content living in a nearby town with all the facilities I need. There’s no easy answer, no one size fits all, but I do hope you find a solution and are content with it.

We moved when I was 60 and husband was 73 due to needing to be nearer my parents. We moved to a new build thinking it would be a lot more straightforward and less work but it was a stressful and challenging . When we chose where we live we chose this house over many others because of the location to amenities. I wasn’t sure of the downstairs layout of the property but my head said location location location and we are so glad we did. Five years on our ‘head’ decision was the best one.

I would be tempted to go for the best of both worlds . Do you have the Airbnb scheme where you live? I'd be tempted to let my city house out during the summer for short holiday lets.
The rent would pay for you to rent somewhere by the sea in the summer . .You would still have the city house for when you need it . I have friends who do this. You would need to clear out personal possessions , but that's not a bad thing .You could clear out clutter and just keep important things which could go in storage . My friends who do it store their personal things in the loft space.

Always planned to move to Cornwall. However as life unfolds and grandchildren came along the thought of being many hours drive away from them is just a big no no. Instead I love being on hand to help out with anything that crops up. If their I’ll they can come here and I’m always available to take the for after school activities and little treats. I wouldn’t swop my time with them for anything. Life is too precious.

Maybe you can compromise and rent somewhere reasonable by the sea for some months every year. Some Airbnbs are quite reasonable, that way you will have the best of both worlds.

Too much is put off until retirement, and as OP says many other factors destroy dreams, especially those of a physical nature. We have to get used to the idea that nothing in the future is given and live as well as we can today.

My house is far too big but its position is perfect. Like Kim I am indecisive and don't like to think I'll ever be infirm!

At present I am renting out part of it, a grannyflat, to help pay the bills including paying someone to help in the garden.

It's on a bus route, near shops and I know everyone.

I belong to a walking group and we often walk in Seaside or chocolate box villages and I imagine myself living there yes for a few weeks in the summer but what about the rest of the year. It would be very lonely.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Franbern and so many of them want to keep llamas and have a couple of acres to grow their own veg. 😂

Aussiegran, we would like to live in Kiama but couldn’t afford it. Our son in law is building a new house further down the coast that our DD keeps telling us he could customise for us.
Trouble is even with all the problems in the U.K. this is home.
The rest of our quite large family is here and we see them all regularly.
We are spending a couple of months over there after Christmas, dividing our time between Sydney and Sussex. We’ll be torn again and doing our sums on the balcony. At least we’ll be warm.

That mention of EthC.......!!!! I have given up watchng that now. So many, middle -older aged people purchasing enormous proprties, with loads of stairs in them and to reach trhem. down 'lovely' remote country lanes. I used to want to scream at them. Note we are shown the 'nearby village' with its pub and occasional shop - but no proper shops, doctors, no public transport, etc., love it when they say that their town of work is within a '50 minutes drive' - which means it is fifty minutes at 2 O' clock in the morning in mid-summer!!! But more like two hours plus daytime!!!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

That’s such a shame, Aussiegran after all your hard work.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

We downsized 12 years ago and sacrificed space (a semi backing onto meadows) for location (town centre living in a small apartment) at the age of 56y when we were still working. I’m glad we did it then. As you age (Himself is now 70y) things just seem so much more effort. What we did then, thinking back, we just took in our stride. Now? It would seem a major upheaval.

Similar feelings AussieGran. The place I long to be is very remote and my increasing disability and health issues make it impossible as a place to live. It’s a long drive simply to reach a main road and often inaccessible in winter. We have to content ourselves with occasional visits. I love where we live, next to a marina, and both of the hospitals that I attend are 15 - 20 minutes drive away. I still have guilt feelings because Mr. B is burdened with me and my increasing dependency, I used to be so strong and capable,

I hope you and your DH have a comfortable and happy retirement.

We’ve done just as you say many others have done in your OP, Aussiegran and moved from a rural location which we loved to the edge of a town. My heart is still in the countryside but we are loving the benefits of being nearer to services and family.

We can be in the centre of town in ten minutes, when before ten minutes only brought us to the edge of a tiny town. We can walk to some shops and get buses and my DD and family can just pop in. I’ve actually been surprised at how little I’ve missed our old home, despite living there for 25 years.

Going by the description of the place you are thinking of moving to, I’m not sure I’d want to up sticks to a place full of people my own age. I like to see lots of people at different stages of their lives.

Is there any possibility of moving somewhere nearer to your current home but with more access to the kind of things you’d both like? Maybe downsizing if it’s a more expensive area?

I understand how you feel Aussiegran I have always wanted to go back to coastal living as well. Sadly as Oopsadaisy said in this case I think your head has to rule your heart. Stay where you are but enjoy as many holidays as you can by the sea.
Good luck.

We moved to be near local shops and services but hospitals, train and anything out of town mean a car journey which may become impossible in later life. Bus and taxi are pretty rare round here. We couldn't afford to move again given all the on-costs so we will adapt the house as we get older. Lots of pundits think pensioners are protected but they don't think about access to essential services which the Tories have underfunded for years.

You have to be realistic as life unfolds, and not chase dreams or stubbornly hold onto something that is no longer a viable or sensible option.

My Dad did use to live by the seaside, and yes he loved the location.
But being widowed and not coping well meant he had no sensible option but to move near us.
He has all the support he needs now within the community and feels much safer.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Can you stay put and afford regular mini breaks to the seaside . I agree the journeys are too long if you have medical issues.