Today starts my countdown to Christmas

Thank you that's my problem I have been the strong one holding everyone together and now I'm crumbling, as a family we are a strong unit, we will get through this, I appreciate its just time, I know I am putting to much pressure on myself I shouldn't worry if the cards aren't wrote or the presents aren't wrapped, if the trees not up, but I do a part of me wants all that but another part doesn't, I have told myself I will sort it this week, to me it's late and that's what's getting me all in a flap, I know I shouldn't as like family say sod the cards, stick gifts in bags and don't worry about a tree, but it's not me, I'm normally 'Mrs Christmas' 😊

Thank you for all the kinds words, I'm sorry I've made this thread so sad please carry on as before and make it a joyuos one again, x

Kamj let your family help you too. When they have a bad day I am sure you help them. When you have one let them help you. Hopefully you won’t all have bad days at the same time. This is how we got through it. You do not have to be strong all the time. Sometimes the I’m ok mask you put on when getting up isn’t enough. You need a big hug. Here’s one from me.

Sorry posted to soon, I am just feeling a little sorry for myself, all will be ok, I just need time x

I have the presents, cards, decorations but nothing is done, I know I need to motivate myself, I just can't, I never felt pain like this I have lost my father and now my mother is "end of life care" but to lose a child is not the order of life, I have good and not so good days.. I will be ok and will find the strength, I have been the strength for my family on the outside

Kamji I am so sorry for your loss. Of course you don’t feel like doing anything this Christmas but you have to keep going for your ac and other gc. I felt the same way when I lost my ds several years ago one November. Christmas was a no no to me but my other children persuaded me otherwise. I had a small tree which I decorated with new star shaped lights which I dragged myself out to buy, and put a big star on the top for my super star. It was very calming and peaceful. Peace was all I wanted. I did send cards with pictures of holly and Ivy wishing peace. I send such cards now to any of my friends who have lost a loved one.

Kamj I wish you peace.

Sorry for your loss Kamj, praying for you and your family,
At home here in county Kerry we are also having a quiet Christmas, my DH had a stroke 6 weeks ago , so Christmas without him( he's in hospital) will be very different, my son and his wife and girls are flying over from the UK Christmas eve and returning boxing day, I couldn't manage having a large tree in my house so bought a small potted one from Tesco which is lightly decorated and I will put lights on that to please my 7 grandchildren,
My house is quiet and my grown up children are walking on eggshells round me sadly,
I really just want to get on with it and want them to enjoy the Christmas time, my dh and myself are Christians and whatever or wherever we are we will celebrate in our own way,
In the town the jarveys dress up the horses like reindeer for the tourists, it's a sight to behold

So terribly sad for you and you family Kamj, sorry for your loss x

Thank you for your kind words, I paint the smile on my face, just hope I don't smudge it. X

Kamj, I’m so sorry, how dreadfully sad.💐

Kamj How terrible.

Kamj, I'd say just stick to the basics and don't feel pressured to make a huge effort. Just stop doing the things you find upsetting.

It's easier to be a guest, rather than a host. Some of us know that it'll be a time filled with great sadness, so we battle through it, with a fake smile - and look forward (more than ever) to the new year. We secretly dread the special occasions and really value the normal, ordinary days.

Kamj I'm so sorry, I pray you find strength

We’re both still alive and reasonably bushy-tailed
Oh good!

We need something to perk us up

🐿

I'll use it then, the jars are both unopened.

Callistemon21

I posted the overseas cards.
The decorations will go up next weekend, hoping DD will help.
If I make mince pies DH will eat them all before Christmas.

Do you think last year's mincemeat will still be ok? Delia's recipe, made in a fit of enthusiasm, then I was unwell before last Christmas so the pies never got made.

Merry Christmas paddyanne and thank you for the link, that's a lovely version of the song.

I made 2 dozen yesterday with last year’s leftover Delia’s - both jars part used (one normal, one with veggie suet).
I just checked and there are - ahem - 13 left this morning, and I can’t entirely blame dh. (We’re both still alive and reasonably bushy-tailed.)

In case the mincemeat was a tad dry, I added just a drop or two of orange juice to each one before putting the tops on - just stars now, easier and less pastry.

Oh * Kamj* how terribly sad. Sending sincere condolences on your loss. I’m sure your family will help you get through the festive season. 💐

I lost my young granddaughter this year and her birthday is in December, I am struggling to do anything Christmas related, I just want to go and hide, I must keep going for my children and grandchildren though, just not sure how atm.

* paddyann54* it’s horrible isn’t it? So sorry you’ve had a horrible year. My aunt’s funeral will be on 19th December. I don’t know if I’m in Xmas mode or funeral mode atm 😊

Christmas is just another day for me now. Will spend the day alone apart from the hour my help will come todo the washing up and make my bed etc.
My son, daughter in law will come Day after Boxing Day on their way to taking my grandson and wife back to London.
Years ago I used to send over a hundred Christmas cards now only twenty as I have outlived all my friends.
It is no fun getting old.

tree ,baileys and christmas vacation on the telly box

I’ve written the cards today and will post off tomorrow. Next weekend, will put the decorations and tree up. No visitors this year so part of me thinks what’s the point, but I shall do it anyway.

Same here, Bunty, no decorations before DH’s birthday. I usually do them around the 18th or so, but keep them up until Twelfth Night.
I haven’t baked anything for years. I only eat it!
Must start on cards and letters, especially as the last dates for posting have been brought forward.
I like Christmas but we don't make a big thing out of it, apart from the religious aspects.

You all sound so organised and ready for festivities. I don’t put my decorations up til 10 days before Christmas. My dad’s birthday and then my husband’s fell in that week so we put them up then with a dual purpose. Both long gone now but I still like some decorations. My family is tiny, daughter and her husband don’t live too far away and my sister and her husband who have both had strokes this year are similarly fairly near by. My son and family, my lovely twin grandsons are in the USA , so thankful for FaceTime. I have done some shopping for gifts and will still cook myself a nice dinner, but it’s a time for reflection and a little sad too.

I posted the overseas cards.
The decorations will go up next weekend, hoping DD will help.
If I make mince pies DH will eat them all before Christmas.

Do you think last year's mincemeat will still be ok? Delia's recipe, made in a fit of enthusiasm, then I was unwell before last Christmas so the pies never got made.

Merry Christmas paddyanne and thank you for the link, that's a lovely version of the song.

crazyH

Got my window lights on. My small fibre-optic tree was not working. Thought I’d go to the loo for a wee, before I sorted the plug etc. Flushed the toilet - it was blocked 😫. Gloves on , plunger out - no luck. Then I noticed something white - gloved hands in - guess what it was? The toilet freshener (that you hang on the rim) had fallen into the bowl. So be warned if you’re using one of those. So glad I noticed it - a plumber would have cost me an arm and a leg 😫

You were lucky If you had a saniflo that would have been fatal. and two arms and two legs worth of plumbing work