Where are you from? Is it an insult?

Lady Hussy was tactless bordering on rude that's for sure, and clumsy in her questions, but she certainly wasn't deliberately racist...

You don't have to be deliberately racist to be racist, you just have to use the wrong language or terminology or keep asking someone where they really come from on the basis of the colour of their skin or the basis of their attire!

grannygranby Can you answer the following -
How much has Lady Susan Hussey got in the bank? What is her annual income?
Why has she got a title?
How did she get the unpaid role with the royal family? Why was she kept on after the Queen’s death?
Who is she married to? How much is / was he worth?
Where does she live? We should be told.
What culture should Ms Fulani be following? Why shouldn’t she dress in African inspired clothing? Do you want her to wear twin set and pearls?
She runs a charity -what’s wrong with that?
Why shouldn’t she change her white slave owners name to an African one?

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Blimey the conspiracy theories are still going without a shred of evidence. At the end of the day it’s not for white people to tell black people what is and isn’t racist towards black people. Most white Americans have European ancestry - would you ask an American where they are really from, and what nationality they were after they told you they were American? I very much doubt it. If the black British lady had brushed aside Lady Susan’s hair would that have been ok? no doubt a flunkey would have stepped in to stop it. It wasn’t malicious racism on the part of Lady S , but it was racism nevertheless, which she has accepted as a mistake.

My daughter will simply say ‘My mum comes from x country, my dad from London but we have an Irish surname.’

To your daughter:

Yes but where do you really come from?

How long have you been here?

I can see I'm going to have trouble getting you to answer this

What part of China do you come from?

Offended yet?

(I'm offended at just writing those things down.)

To answer Sago’s question, it depends how comfortable you are in your own skin.

Myself (not white, not British) and my daughter (mixed race, British), if someone asks us ‘ Which country are you from?’, we do not find it offensive, insulting or intrusive and I will definitely not write that person off as a racist bigot.

My daughter will simply say ‘My mum comes from x country, my dad from London but we have an Irish surname.’

I just returned from the Far East visiting family and friends. One or two of the local taxi drivers asked me the same question since my accent has changed and I no longer sound like the locals.

As for the incident at RF, in my opinion, it is a set up. Now that the Queen has die, all gloves are off! And it is going to get nasty. Someone (the one who shall not be named) is trying to stop the Coronation from taking place.

Invading someone's personal space can be taken to be very intimidating, whether it is deliberate or not.

Strangely enough, I had to have serious words with my boy about that when he moved in.

He genuinely didn't know, but it is very disconcerting.

I absolutely applaud women who stand up and draw attention to racism.

It's distinctly odd to me how many people just don't agree it is happening.

Of course even having access to the media and having a following still doesn't always mean that victims are believed...

I wonder why people wouldn't believe them and would accuse them of a publicity stunt for drawing attention to an issue many face?

It makes no sense to me

What comments are those NanKate?

NanKate

I think the African woman(sorry forgotten her name) is beginning to ‘milk’ the situation. Her comments are far stronger than they were initially.

The point is that the woman is British.

Jaberwok

But Lady Susan wasn't brushing the hair out of somebody's eyes or attempting to, she was trying to read the name brooch which was hidden by this lady's hair. No doubt she shouldn't have done that,but why pin the brooch where no one can see it?

Even worse if it was pinned on her bosom!

I think the African woman(sorry forgotten her name) is beginning to ‘milk’ the situation. Her comments are far stronger than they were initially.

But Lady Susan wasn't brushing the hair out of somebody's eyes or attempting to, she was trying to read the name brooch which was hidden by this lady's hair. No doubt she shouldn't have done that,but why pin the brooch where no one can see it?

Unless it has changed, I was trained that it is technically assault to touch anybody without seeking prior permission.

I certainly wouldn't let any old Tom, Dick, or even Harry touch my hair.

It's bizarre behaviour, to me.
Imagine a gransnet meet up where I say hello for the first time and then start brushing your hair out of your eyes?!?

I reckon it was a set up and Lady Hussy has been made a scapegoat for someone else's anti-royalist agenda. What a coincidence that this should happen at the same time as the Harry & Meghan debacle and William and Kate's visit to the US. If the offended woman didn't like the questions she was asked why didn't she simply excuse herself politely and move away. As for the hair touching, people have often brushed my hair off my face or out of my eyes, I've never been offended by it. She claimed she couldn't find anyone to report it to, but she found the media and press easily enough. No need to report it to anyone really. The phrases 'mountains out of molehills' and 'storm in a teacup' come to mind.

No, it can be considered much worse if you are black.

Posters sometimes post with such conviction about things that they don't know the half of. I posted this on the other thread, I'd better do it again.

odelebeauty.com/blogs/the-rinse/black-hair-history-facts?utm_source=partnerize&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=21181&utm_content=8-12844&clickId=4203474738#:~:text=Hair%20means%20something%20different%20to

MissAdventure

This reminds me of a work colleague who "just" wanted to take a photo of me.
Sounds really childish, but I genuinely do not enjoy having my photo taken, he spoiled the start of the evening out in his determination to get a photo, and it was hugely insensitive of him, as I had issues outside of work going on.

Nevertheless, he kept on, and was triumphant to get one - aha! Too slow, I blocked his view with a paper plate!

I think we can all think of things that happened in the past that are just not acceptable now. The fact that SH is said to have moved the complainant's hair away from her badge, is one such.

That is not racist, it's just wrong. It would be wrong if you were black, white or sky-blue pink.

Lady Hussy was tactless bordering on rude that's for sure, and clumsy in her questions, but she certainly wasn't deliberately racist or abusive, on the other hand the lady in question must have realised that she was not querying her being born in this country, but when her family originated from. This is fairly obvious, So why not say

This is my view of the situation. Far too much fuss has been made of it. There were faults on both sides. Some people are "in the business" of being offended and looking for endemic racism.

Esspee

I have been subjected to racism and am aware of the subtleties where you can be left in doubt as to the intentions of the perpetrator.
I would have assumed in this case that the questions were a clumsy attempt to find some sort of common ground along the lines of “I thought that was a Nigerian costume, we visited there in 2015 and so enjoyed touring your amazing country.”

Incidentally wasn’t the offended lady last in the limelight for saying that Meghan had been subjected to domestic abuse within the royal family?
She does seem to pick battles that raise her own profile doesn’t she. If I felt I had been subject to racist abuse I would have reported it to the organisers of the event. Not gone directly to the media.

That was my thought, also, that the offended woman wants the media attention.

This reminds me of a work colleague who "just" wanted to take a photo of me.
Sounds really childish, but I genuinely do not enjoy having my photo taken, he spoiled the start of the evening out in his determination to get a photo, and it was hugely insensitive of him, as I had issues outside of work going on.

Nevertheless, he kept on, and was triumphant to get one - aha! Too slow, I blocked his view with a paper plate!

Ali08
volver
.
Haha, I love it!

Somehow I don’t think you’re laughing for the same reason as me!!

volver

.

Haha, I love it!

Twice I have met people who are very good with accents and at pin pointing where people are from.
The first, my friend from Cramlington in Northumberland, and I were on holiday in Eyemouth in our late teens.
The man got her spot on, but couldn't place me!
The second, I was in Ashington, Northumberland with my SO & some of his family. The man knew most of them, although SOs daughter has lived away part of her life and the man placed her as being locally born but with an accent from around Ipswich. Dead on!
I said a sentence to him, "Where do you think I'm from?" He wanted me to speak more, I did.
He said, "You have a slight northern accent, but also something else, and I just can't place you!"
Lmao. I'm from Prudhoe-on-Tyne in Northumberland, went to school in Bellingham in Northumberland, moved away when I was 21 and have been in various places down south since then, but finally settled in Isle of Thanet in Kent.
Everyone down here recognises my Geordie accent. But those men couldn't!
I'm in my 50s now, and SO call me a 'posh Geordie'!

I don't know why there is doubt in the conversation as other people witnessed it and Lady Hussy has apologised and resigned.