Twas the week before Christmas
And throughout the land
Grans had started their shopping
With help from broadband
The toys come from Argos, the clothes from JL
Cos shopping in person
Is the Ninth circle of Hell
There's a jumper for DH, for SIL,some gin
But where should they leave it
If I am not in?
I sit up with Amazon ordering books
For cyclists and sports fans
And children and cooks.
My cash card is tingling, the urge is still there
Without M&S or Ocado
I haven't a prayer.
In the shops like those jingle bells
The cash tills will ring
But here by the fire I am spared all that thing
Of jostling and crowds and nowhere to park
Then driving back home in the cold and the dark.
I can sit down with Strictly
And watch the World Cup
Eat mince pies, drink Baileys
Until time is up
I love Christmas shopping, the spirit is here
And as I'm not driving, don't stint with the cheer 
But where would I be - I would weep I would frown
If my nightmare should happen
My wi-if was down? ???
on my faceWill Replacing School Uniforms With Tracksuits......
