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Feel the fear and do it anyway

(55 Posts)
Urmstongran Sat 17-Dec-22 19:10:01

A good question Maw.
You might not get many responses tonight - it’s the Strictly final till 9:30pm for those who like to tune in!

I know I’ve lost my confidence driving. ‘Use it or lose it’ comes to mind. Our grandchildren were truly surprised in the summer that yes, grandma CAN drive (but doesn’t these past few years). I will, I will ... I keep telling myself. In the springtime perhaps.

I’ve pretty much forgotten how to book flights now to Málaga. I used to do it for myself when I was working. A cheeky weekend on my own? No problema. Now? Himself does it for us. All the time. He does have a smartphone though with all the Covid verification etc which (hopefully) will no longer be necessary soon.

I think I rely on him too much. I’ve handed over the reins such a lot since retirement.
#lazygran?

For example I don’t know how to set the heating. Looks like I’d need an ‘A’ level with this techie system we have here.

I suppose it’s ‘sink or swim’. If I was on my own I’d take in water at first but then I’d bob up and learn. Or pay someone to do it for me. I often think I should take notes now of how to do stuff, just in case of need.

Regards social situations I’ve always been super confident and friendly. I speak to people I don’t know. I can deal with telephone queries to sort things out. But then again, I’ve got Himself. We are a team. He’s good at stuff I’m not and vice versa. I think it must be a whole new ball game if one finds oneself alone after a number of years.

Kudos to you for ‘feeling the pain and doing it anyway’.
It’s how I would hope to be, should the need arise. Not to be needy but feisty - find my inner confidence and lean in.

MawtheMerrier Sat 17-Dec-22 19:04:38

That’s a good idea!

LRavenscroft Sat 17-Dec-22 18:59:29

I have lost a lot of my confidence but keep a diary of things I attend and give myself a Smiley sticker when I get home. Strange perhaps, but it gives me pleasure to look back and see what I have achieved and encourages me to keep going. My therapist recommended it.

midgey Sat 17-Dec-22 18:55:25

I feel the fear and then probably don’t do it! Chicken I know.

MawtheMerrier Sat 17-Dec-22 18:49:42

As I’ve got older a lot of my self-confidence seems to have trickled away. Or perhaps it’s since Paw died and I have no longer had the responsibility of kicking ass with some medical professionals, or driving him to appointments at his London hospital. Whatever, I now mostly only have myself to think about but I can find myself dreading things I used to take in my stride (the M25 for example), any long drives, or social engagements with people I do not know very well, or taking an active role in the organisation of our local Arts Society (involving public speaking.)
So I am trying very hard not to “duck out” of arrangements, not to rule things out -even although I would cheer silently if they were cancelled!
Do you “feel the fear and do it anyway” or are you lucky enough not to feel the fear?