Memorial jewellery from ashes.

Nanatoone
Skip by the posts you find upsetting.
The jewellery is a very personal thing. The expectation that everyone ought to like it is also upsetting for those who have reasons not to choose that way of remembering.

A daughter in law in the far East had 4 pregnancies She used to express milk for her babies for when she was at work The surplus was kept in the freezer
Her 3rd child was miscarried so she had no milk trail
#4 was a healthy baby so milk was produced
At the time, it seemed to be the fashion for such milk to be used in having a bracelet made,,,,,,,each milk bead being marked with the initial of the child for which it had been produced
The problem of lack of milk for #3 was solved by using a mixture of the milk from the other 3 live births
She still wears the bracelet with joy every day but shudders as she approaches the cemetery near whch we live

Each to his own taste but I could use neither milk nor ashes for such commemorative features

I deal in antiques and you should see some of the things the Victorians used to put into lockets and brooches. Hair from the head of the loved one is quite common but also teeth, nail clippings and so on. Strangely enough there are people who collect mourning jewellery and it can fetch quite high rices. The Victorians made an entire cult out of it.

I have this beautiful silver pendant with his ashes integrated into a special resin. I love it. Our children didn't want any remains but I wanted and needed this after 40 years of deep love

flowerofthewestx2, I think that is beautiful and a lovely way to keep him with you.

GrammyGrammy

TerryM 'Grammy Grammy you are aware not everyone is Christian?'
You are aware not everyone is pagan?

You are aware that those aren't the only two options?

And as for the jewellery/ashes thing, everyone grieves in their own way, so if it brings comfort to someone, where's the harm in it? If you don't like it, fair enough - but some of the comments on here are a bit harsh, to say the least.

This is an interesting question.
Before my husband died ( 7 months ago ) I used to think that if and when the time came, I would happily scatter his ashes under our favourite seat which overlooks the beach and where we used to sit and both feel happy.
However, now I find that I’m really not ready yet to “ let him go”, and his ashes are still in the box in our bedroom. Previously I really would have found this creepy, but not now!
What I have found helpful is giving away most of his very nice clothes to my son, and I love seeing him wearing them. And I’ve kept back a few for myself, and just love snuggling up in his merino cardigan! I’m really gather surprised at all this, wearing his clothes was never on the agenda!

Not for me anything made from ashes of deceased person. I feel like the rest of 'stuff' accumulated in life, whoever is left to sort things out may consider items to be worthless and they end up in charity shops, local tips or if lucky and felt valuable being sold by the benefactors. Memories, pictures are of more value to remember the deceased than a constant reminder of ashes that they are dead.

Mollygo.
Thanks for the advice, it’s always helpful when someone advises a person to “scroll on by” when they’ve already read the posts. Remember that this post is essentially about bereavement and it would be helpful if anyone replying to it would consider those of us who are bereaved when they use words like “creepy” to describe the bodies of our loved ones. Of course I appreciate its not for everyone but this is one case when words matter.

Each to their own, whatever helps someone who is grieving is ok with me. I think your pendant is very pretty flowersofthewest.

My vet had some drop earrings made from her mother's ashes and they were very pretty if rather expensive.

Blondiescot

GrammyGrammy

TerryM 'Grammy Grammy you are aware not everyone is Christian?'
You are aware not everyone is pagan?

You are aware that those aren't the only two options?

And as for the jewellery/ashes thing, everyone grieves in their own way, so if it brings comfort to someone, where's the harm in it? If you don't like it, fair enough - but some of the comments on here are a bit harsh, to say the least.

You are aware Christians are allowed a view on here too and should not be othered continually because their view is different to most?

I know a few folk who've had memorial jewellery made some nice some not so. My worry would be losing it I'd be devastated if I'd lost part of my loved ones ashes but each to their own. I much prefer the memory bears made from loved ones clothes. I've seen some lovely examples of these.

GrammyGrammy

Blondiescot

GrammyGrammy

TerryM 'Grammy Grammy you are aware not everyone is Christian?'
You are aware not everyone is pagan?

You are aware that those aren't the only two options?

And as for the jewellery/ashes thing, everyone grieves in their own way, so if it brings comfort to someone, where's the harm in it? If you don't like it, fair enough - but some of the comments on here are a bit harsh, to say the least.

You are aware Christians are allowed a view on here too and should not be othered continually because their view is different to most?

Where did I suggest otherwise?

A dear friend whose son died unexpectedly had a necklace made similar to flowerofthewest, it is dark blue and none of us would have realised if she hadn't told us. I don't know what I would do until the situation arises

My friend had some of her husbands ashes made into rings and necklace's for her and her 2 daughters and I must say they looked really nice. She used the company Ashes to Glass and they are nice and tasteful.

I find my ring very comforting,

When my DM passed away I had a small pendant made for myself and sister from ashes to glass and a beautiful paperweight made of her ashes for my son. I regret having them made now because although they only used a teaspoon of her ashes in each pendant etc I worry where they will end up when I pop off. I think I will leave instructions for my pendant to be added to my ashes when I pass away. The rest of her ashes have been interred in a plot along with her beloved dogs ashes that I mixed in with hers. As for my dogs my DS and DDL have strict instructions to mix all their ashes in with my own when I die.

It is the very centre of traditional Christianity. It offends you but you don't get to change it to make it palatable to you. Ignore God (Jesus) in this life and he will ignore you in the next (Hell). Take it or leave it. That is the message of mainstream traditional Christianity

Firstly, this is not the message of mainstream Christian teaching. It is the belief of narrow minded, intolerant people who believe in their superiority over those with other religious beliefs or those with none. It is so scary and has been used to demonise and kill people of different beliefs as if they did not matter!
Secondly - some other religions teach this superiority too, this utter certainty they alone will be saved by their faith alone.
So - there may be many segregated private members 'Heavens' full of intolerant judgemental people that no sane good person would want to go to....................or you are, I am glad to say, completely wrong about what Christianity is teaching.

No. For all the people I have loved and lost, I have physical things which they used or gave me. I have recipes and rhymes from grandparents, pieces of furniture, etc. I'm not a fan of ashes in any form, scattered or not. Certainly wouldn't care to have them sitting on the mantle when there are so many lovely pictures to be had.

Well said, StoneofDestiny (Fri 06-Jan-23 18:57:49). There are areas of Christianity which I feel might have been eroded but on the whole, Christianity is about a forgiving, loving God which doesn't sit well with Hell and Damnation!

icanhandthemback, well said!

I'm not keen on the use of ashes , but the memory bears/ cushions I think are a lovely idea

I have cousins who had this done when their uncle died. I know they are very expensive. When my mum died, I had her fingerprint put on a silver keyring but I don't like to use it incase I lose it, which is probably the right thing to do as I have lost my main car key this week and I've turned the house upside down but I can't find it.

My brother committed suicide aged 40. He'd have been 64 now. I took a lock of his hair and wore it in a pendant with his photo in for many, many years and swore I would take him with me wherever I went in my life. When the chain broke, it seemed to me to be a sign that it was time for a change of necklace - I felt strong enough to carry him in my heart alone - (but I still keep the pendant safe and sound).