nonsensical things people say

My dad, hard-pressed "Yes! I'll do it now in a minute". My mum, "I certainly did NOT block the drain with tea leaves. I always flush them down the sink" . Wish I still had them both to laugh with

My mother was the best! Her logic astounding. Conversation with my brother:- "Mum you've done a lot of mileage in this car." Her reply - well you must remember it's only a Mini so the wheels go round more often than your Range Rover " Priceless!!

When you've lost something "it'll be in the last place you look" Well of course it will, you stop looking once you've found whatever "it" is!!!

Sorry Nannan2 I still don't get it why anyone would say that.
But I've never heard it in real life, only seen it in this thread.

I don't like like all the new jargon surrounding giving people information
like
SIGNPOSTING. I will signpost you to xyz
WHY why not tell me who to just bloody contact

FannyCornforth

DaisyAlice

Cheer up. It might never happen. I once replied with It already has.

A complete stranger in a pub once said that to me.
Obviously, an attractive woman in her 20s in a boozer is supposed to be all smiles.
It was the eve of my mother’s funeral.
I’m certain that he’s never said it again

fucker

I suppose 'Enjoy' is a shortened version of 'i hope you enjoy it' really.

Well, goodness, do we all have to be so picky? Surely it's the sentiment behind the words that counts? 'Enjoy!' to me is a lovely invitation to indulgence.

Maybe I'd better think twice before I wish anyone 'Good Morning' from now on!

And No Yammy- my gran was not "someone puffed up with self importance trying to make others feel small" becacause when you really know what the sentence means it is not saying the person's got more than you have is it? Its saying if you do already have it, then you dont need it.

*thought

I though 'setting teeth on edge' does mean being very irritated?..

When my own doctor actually says "how are you?" I reply with "im not well, thats why im here"! Or to the drs receptionist when i ring for an appt who says "what is it thats wrong with you?" I reply "I dont know, im not a doctor"🙄

Oldwoman70

Walking around the supermarket pushing a full trolley and you bump into a friend who asks "what are you doing here" !

Ah but I liked it when I was doing that in a different town and bumped into my Doctor who said ‘What are you doing in my neck of the woods?’ Made me feel I wasn’t just an unrecognisable patient.

"We want for nowt we've got"- its a broad yorkshire saying- ive not heard it since my gran died many years ago- it means if you've already got it (some item or other) then you dont want for it (require/need it) makes sense really- no of course you dont, because you've already blinking got it! 😅

HowVeryDareYou

How about when you bump into a neighbour in the doctor's and they ask "Hello, are you alright?" - that happens around here, anyway

The obvious answer, surely, is, "Would I be here if I were?"

My goodness Saggi what an awful time

Not quite 50. I've been having trouble with accessing the site for a while. It happens almost every time. Sometimes I can correct it, but sometimes I just abandon trying to get in, as it repeatedly reloads or crashes. "These things are sent to try us".......another annoying saying 😀

Only dead fish go with the flow."
Had that on my office wall.
On my office wall I had a picture of a woman collapsed across her desk saying ‘I love this place. I’m too old for a paper round, too young for a pension and too tired for an affair’

Or shut….or maybe not!

Walking home from the hospital where I’d spent 28 hours while my stroke victim husband (26 years passed) had been assessed for dementia after an episode in which he’d thrown a metal bar at my head and near killed me …. and having been told that he had mixed dementia and Alzheimer’s with Lewys…..not being able to afford a taxi …I was looking a little dejected possibly!! A useless piece of s••• sitting begging outside the shop I used to work in ( until my home workload became too much) said to me “ cheer up darling …nothings that bad!) . I was only stopped from hitting him with the can of soup I’d just gone in to buy., by an old work colleague who overheard the remark . I think I possibly would’ve near killed him with his fatuous remarks. If you can’t think of something pleasant or helpful to say ….stitch your mouth shit!

GreenGran78 Yes I was having the same issue with it crashing not that many minutes ago. It has stopped now. I closed it, reloaded and logged in and it stopped its closing nonsense. ☺

I am not sleeping just resting my eyes makes perfect sense to me due to my battle with insomnia. Wide awake but eyelids closed trying to rest my eyes that refuse to switch onto sleep mode and switch almost off stopping blinking wide open. So yep eyelids closed is truly eyes being rested, but that does not always mean closed eyes are asleep. I can lie still for hours behind closed eyelids that appear asleep. Yet behind them I am in a relaxed state yet fully awake and aware battling my brain/eye refusal to switch off completely to allow true proper sleep.

Something that is really driving me barmy, though not a saying. My Gransnet Page is repeatedly reloading and crashing. It's so annoying. Is anyone else having this problem?

Walking around the supermarket pushing a full trolley and you bump into a friend who asks "what are you doing here" !

Youngest son says "can i potentially?" Whatever it is- like getting a lift home or borrowing cash, instead of just asking outright if he can!