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nonsensical things people say

(157 Posts)
HowVeryDareYou Wed 04-Jan-23 17:30:53

My husband is a lovely man, but some of the things he says are just ridiculous. The latest, 5 minutes ago -

"I don't snore, that's just the noise my throat makes when I relax" grin

Witzend Wed 11-Jan-23 10:45:23

‘With respect…’ since it often means the opposite.

And ‘Not a problem!’ - said very loudly in a certain Australian hotel every time I’d said thank you to the waiter who’d brought me something.

I was so tempted to say, ‘Well, I should certainly hope it’s not a problem, since it’s actually your job to bring our food.’
(But I didn’t.)

Kaimoana2 Wed 11-Jan-23 09:28:03

Lucca

? Dont get that

It's a Yorkshire expression and meant to be silly. It's one of many daft replies from the North.

If I asked Mum what was for tea she's say, 'Stewed stool feet and buttered haycocks.'

To 'It's not fair!' 'What isn't a black woman's hand?'

And 'Nip up to the park and see if it's raining'
If I dropped something, 'Bring it over here lass and I'll pick it up.'

Life was littered with nonsense in the 1950s. grin

Kaimoana2 Wed 11-Jan-23 09:23:02

SJV07

I dislike, during a one to one conversation, "How are 'We' today? Why not say, 'How are 'you' today? Very patronising. I reply emphasizing How are YOU, today?

My previous doctor used to say that and got used to my quips in response.

'Obviously sick or I wouldn't be here.'
and

Worried about you if you think you're more than one person'.

Kaimoana2 Wed 11-Jan-23 09:12:17

"If I can do it, anyone can"
and

"If you work hard, you succeed."

Both self-evidently nonsense.

AussieGran59 Tue 10-Jan-23 23:22:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

albertina Tue 10-Jan-23 19:30:12

Cheer up it might never happen was shouted at me by a total stranger as I walked into a supermarket. I turned on the man and shouted right back " My beloved sister died in my arms yesterday" Then I managed to add "And that's a stupid thing to say to anyone at any time ! "

Daftbag1 Mon 09-Jan-23 14:15:08

Can I borrow your loo'? Drives me a bit potty (pardon the pun), what do they want with the loo? Deep sighs!

Another is ' so how are we feeling today'? The psych's opening question when we meet, usually in a crisis.

First I don't care how she is feeling I'm there because I'm not coping, so the question is a bit daft, I'm not coping so I'm feeling dreadful.

When I was younger I sadly had a number of still births. I would go in to hospital and come out without my child. So many of those who DID speak to me had the most appalling approaches it was either a detailed conversation about the weather or much worse, you are young you can have another!

Not much better, was my daughter who is a wheelchair user unable to stand or walk. She has had a phisio tell her ' I will have you walking by the end of the week (like hell you will).

And the lady commenting about my daughter's shoes which were very high and fashionable and saying ' how on earth do you walk
in the shoes'? My daughter doesn't take any prisoners and responded 'my wheelchair isn't a fashion accessory, I can't walk'!

SJV07 Mon 09-Jan-23 09:49:27

I dislike, during a one to one conversation, "How are 'We' today? Why not say, 'How are 'you' today? Very patronising. I reply emphasizing How are YOU, today?

Vintagenonna Mon 09-Jan-23 09:21:40

My Dad was always entertained by my Ma saying to him (after we'd all left home) :

'Who put that there!'

He always responded "There's only the two of us here."

I wanted to have that engraved on their joint headstone but the vicar had little sense of humour.

nanna8 Mon 09-Jan-23 00:48:55

I always say , ‘good’,when someone asks how I am. Also, ‘see you later’ when parting. Most people here do. So
How ya going ?
Good.
Reply : Good.
Just normal.

TiggyW Sun 08-Jan-23 23:37:12

I can think of a few choice sayings:

‘She turned round and said…’ Was she spinning?!
‘Take care…’ Oh no, I’m always extremely careless!!
‘I’m good…’ Glad to hear it - but are you well?!
‘The run up to…’ On your marks!!
‘Reach out to…’ I just want to contact someone!!
‘My bad…’ Your bad what??
‘So…’ At the beginning of every sentence!🙄

I’ve just come across a new expression in an (American) e-mail regarding a holiday company which is being bought by a larger one. This company will shortly ‘sunset’. A new verb!!

mrsgreenfingers56 Sun 08-Jan-23 22:36:00

People saying to you before an operation "You will be fine" I found most irrating thinking to myself are you a medic, a surgeon, how do you know?

Bluecat Sun 08-Jan-23 22:06:02

It's not a saying but the reference to "My bad" reminded me...

I was browsing on Amazon recently for a book to help my teenage granddaughter who has social anxiety. I found "A Girl's Guide To Being Fearless." Sounded good but the subtitle was "How To Find Your Brave." Ugh. Why not bravery? Or courage?

I have never heard anyone, including teenagers, say "your brave." I have ordered the book, because the content looks good, but the subtitle sets my teeth on edge.

Mamo Sun 08-Jan-23 21:30:46

“I am not sleeping just resting my eyes makes perfect sense to me due to my battle with insomnia. Wide awake but eyelids closed trying to rest my eyes that refuse to switch onto sleep mode and switch almost off stopping blinking wide open. So yep eyelids closed is truly eyes being rested, but that does not always mean closed eyes are asleep. I can lie still for hours behind closed eyelids that appear asleep. Yet behind them I am in a relaxed state yet fully awake and aware battling my brain/eye refusal to switch off completely to allow true proper sleep.“

I know exactly what you mean……I can lie for hours at night like this, NotQuite50!!

Goldieoldie15 Sun 08-Jan-23 21:28:33

One I absolutely detest: “Do (whatever, at hairdresser’s, optician’s receptionist and similar) for me” Not doing it for YOU , doing it for myself you little patronising idiot.

lemsip Sun 08-Jan-23 21:19:23

when people say for instance... 'my mum made deliciouse apple pies when she was alive, well she wouldn't do it if she was dead would she..

kircubbin2000 Sun 08-Jan-23 20:46:17

A friend always asks in surprise 'how do you know her?' when I know the person she is talking about. Why shouldn't I know her, we both live and grew up in this area.

Elegran Sun 08-Jan-23 20:40:34

Disgruntled

Oh, Elegran...! How on earth did you refrain from punching him?

I wonder that now, too. I must have been too well-brung-up to cheek my elders (I won't add "and betters")

BrandyGran Sun 08-Jan-23 20:32:35

I was in a packed bus at rush hour one evening. EVERYBODY was quietly immersed on their mobile phones except one girl and she was talking loudly and slagging someone off on her phone. Conversation went as follows. She said to me like, then I said to her like and then like she said back so I said like what I would like do about that like! You get the drift!

semperfidelis Sun 08-Jan-23 20:12:51

hollysteers - I love that response!

Gwenisgreat1 Sun 08-Jan-23 19:17:56

At the end of the day!! which day? Today hasn't ended!

frankie74 Sun 08-Jan-23 19:14:50

GP of course

frankie74 Sun 08-Jan-23 19:14:11

My HP once pointed out to me that I'm no spring chicken grin

Disgruntled Sun 08-Jan-23 19:10:46

Oh, Elegran...! How on earth did you refrain from punching him?

happycatholicwife1 Sun 08-Jan-23 19:10:27

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