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Eventful Day…..told to f*** off

(104 Posts)
Kateykrunch Sun 29-Jan-23 13:37:51

In our local Town today, in a shop and passing behind a young man (30’s), so I could pass behind him, I said, breath in, he didnt move, so I thought he hadn’t heard me, so a bit louder I said excuse me, still no response, so I squidched past him, but tutted, he never moved, but told me to not f***ing tut at him and he had a really intimidating rant at me. Honestly, I thought I was being friendly saying breath in and my tut was a bit involuntary (perhaps his f***ing and ranting was as well). But, for a good few minutes I felt really scared and definitely wished I hadnt said anything. Its getting horrible ‘out there’ and could easily scare you into staying in, but after about 10 minutes or so, I felt less scared. Just need to get the event off my chest, thanks for reading.

VioletSky Mon 30-Jan-23 22:13:37

Maybe it is seen as an insult to the person told to "breathe in"

Surely that matters

Shinamae Mon 30-Jan-23 22:11:43

Thisismyname1953

For those of you saying ‘breathe in’ is an insult , in the North West it isn’t . It’s a joking way of asking someone to allow you past please .

I’m in North Devon and totally agree..

queenofsaanich69 Mon 30-Jan-23 22:11:09

What amazes me is how people seemed to have stopped nodding or waving thank you when they cross the road in front of a car on zebra crossings,where have manners gone ?

VioletSky Mon 30-Jan-23 22:09:14

Also breath in is daft anyway, you would have to be breathe out to become smaller surely

VioletSky Mon 30-Jan-23 22:08:25

I wouldn't challenge people I don't know or tut at them either...

This could easily go wrong

FYI there is no age limit on gransnet. I also know people who have children younger than their grandchildren so we really shouldn't be trying to tell others where they can post..

VioletSky Mon 30-Jan-23 22:03:07

I also thought breathe in is something you say if someone is fat...

Like if they are trying on a dress

Maybe it is a regional thing

Thisismyname1953 Mon 30-Jan-23 21:57:06

For those of you saying ‘breathe in’ is an insult , in the North West it isn’t . It’s a joking way of asking someone to allow you past please .

Musicgirl Mon 30-Jan-23 21:21:46

Hithere, you sometimes seem to come on here expressly to disagree with people and then come over as very rude. You have contributed nothing but scorn for others on this thread and me in particular. I can assure you that in small town UK, telling rowdy teenagers that l was old enough to be their mother achieved the desired effect. As for not needing someone else to stand up for you - well you weren’t there. The fact that I was thanked shows that it only takes one person (and it doesn’t matter who) to stand up to inappropriate behaviour to help others. By the way, you are the mother of young children. Why are you on Gransnet rather than Mumsnet?

madeleine45 Mon 30-Jan-23 18:57:46

when I lived in the Manchester area for a time the local gas fitter was a young man with usually green or purple hair and tattoos and the woman on the phone used to tell people that he was a great fitter and not to be put off by his appearance. It was totally true, he always did a good job, cleared up after himself and even asked if someone needed some shopping. Once word got round he was often asked for as he was so popular. So as you say you never can tell. The rudest person of late was a man in probably his forties in a dark suit. He had a dog on one of those extended leads, which are very good if used properly, but he was looking in a shop window , while his dog had crossed right across the pavement with the lead just at the level to trip you up. I asked him to collect his dog towards him and got a lot of f and b type remarks. Being an ex teacher I put my best teachers voice on and said oh I see you are looking for a dictionary so that you can increase your vocabulary. A couple of people laughed , he went red, muttered and grabbed the dog and went off!!

Katek Mon 30-Jan-23 18:56:47

Dr Alice Roberts sometimes has pink hair...........

Just saying!

Poppsbaggie Mon 30-Jan-23 18:12:41

Most folk I encounter are perfectly pleasant. The nasty ones get all the notice and therefore it's possible to think that's the norm. It really isn't. Well not from my experience. Just put this isolated incident in your mind's rubbish bin where it belongs.

CountryMouse22 Mon 30-Jan-23 17:43:23

Years ago (80s) I worked in Mayfair and I used to go up to Oxford Street for various shops. It was very busy and I came face to face with a young man who didn't move and told me 'eff off' in so many words. I was shocked. I recall he had a Russell & Bromley staff badge on. I did think of going in and confronting him but decided against it. I would nowadays.

knspol Mon 30-Jan-23 15:44:25

I got into a small, empty lift in a car park a few weeks ago, laden down with shopping bags. I pressed for the floor I wanted and stood back out of the way. I middle aged chap dressed in a suit jumped in as the door was closing and very abruptly told me "3rd floor". I immediately responded with "I'm not a lift attendant" (which I regretted straight away, on my own in such a confined space), he then called me a bitch. Very scary few minutes to my floor.

inishowen Mon 30-Jan-23 15:26:21

Hubby had a hospital appointment last week. The carpark machine wasn't working so the barrier wouldn't go up. He phoned the helpline and was waiting for them to raise the barrier. The woman in the car behind screamed at him to take a ticket and move, shouting she had an appointment. The barrier went up and hubby drove through, then came down stopping the woman! I think she deserved that.

Tooyoungytobeagrandma Mon 30-Jan-23 15:09:19

Well they must have all been out yesterday. I was spoken to rudely several times by a man who then went on to racially abuse a young woman. When I berated him gor his comments to the girl his wife went to throw a fist at me. They were bundled away by the owner of the premises and I was left to seeth for a few minutes then my friend said that the evening with me was "interesting" we laughed and enjoyed the rest of our time. I'm sure our paths will cross again as its a small place but think he was taken aback that even though in my 60s I was not intimidated by him or his wife. The way he spoke to the younger woman/girl was awful.

NoddingGanGan Mon 30-Jan-23 15:07:25

Had a similar experience in our local (mini) supermarket the other day. A local mum (we're quite a small community) well known for being a skinflint, (always raking through stickered baskets "I have lots of children you know") yet rather, "posh", was chatting to a friend in one of the aisles, totally blocking it and screening off a shelving unit on which there was an item I wished to purchase. I politely cleared my throat and smiled and said, "excuse me, might I just squeeze past for something on the shelf behind you?" The woman (I won't call her a lady) glared at me with a visibly curling lip, sniffed as though there were a pong up her nose and carried on talking to her friend!
I walked around the other way and got a few other bits I needed, against the flow of traffic (it is a very small supermarkets with exceedingly narrow aisles) biding my time until she cleared aisle one, at which point she came around the corner to find me bending down to scrutinise a lower shelf. In her imperious foghorn voice, she declared to all and sundry that "people shouldn't be allowed to take up a whole aisle while they decide what the want! There are other people trying to shop, too!"
The more I see of people, the more I love animals!

sparkynan Mon 30-Jan-23 14:02:50

I was in a local supermarket, a large tall man with really long dreadlocks was talking to a lady blocking the way. I said excuse me, it was like I had lit the fuse of a rocket, he started shouting at me, accusing me of being rude, racist and bad mannered. I said I was brought up to say excuse me if I couldn't get past someone and he roared at me, The lady with him looked apologetic and moved over, he followed me all the way round the supermarket, then queued behind me looming over me at the till. I'd had enough by then and squared up to him and asked him was he trying to scare and intimidate me? He just gave me a filthy look and I walked away... Luckily he didn't follow me to the car park, but I was scared witless and I couldn't understand what I said that upset him so much..

MadeInYorkshire Mon 30-Jan-23 13:56:49

LRavenscroft

A few years ago I was at a well know shopping centre in the West Country in a bag shop. This lady on a mobility scooter drove into the middle of the shop and shouted at everyone " Get out of my way. I am here to buy a bag".

Aww, we aren't all like that - not that I have been out on mine for a year as I daren't anymore and have no-one to come with me now, sadly my dogs are suffering as I cannot afford anyone to take them out - they're used to it, but I worry about it. I have a big garden, overgrown as I can't afford anyone to do it, but it's not the same ...

The last time I used one was at the Cheltenham Festival 2 years ago. That was fun trying to part thousands of Irishmen in order to get to the loo, but they were lovely; drunk, happy and chatted to me a lot despite me sitting at their bum height!

SueEH Mon 30-Jan-23 13:49:00

I’d have given him a mouthful in the same vein! I have no issue whatsoever using colourful language when necessarily.

Romola Mon 30-Jan-23 13:40:28

When I hear foul language in a public place, I say, quite loudly: "Mind my earshot, please, guys."
Quite often, this elicits "Sorry Miss."
I think young people do tend to respond to a teacher voice!

cc Mon 30-Jan-23 13:34:24

I had something similar happen to me in a department store recently. An elderly well-dressed lady with someone younger was completely blocking the aisle so I said "excuse me" loudly several times but she just stood there, though she had clearly heard me as she glanced my way. Eventually I just pushed through, accompanied by several loud comments from the old bat who thought I was being very rude to push past her.

4allweknow Mon 30-Jan-23 13:30:08

What was wrong with the usual excuse me? Had I heard someone behind me say that I would have no idea what they were meaning. Perhaps the person involved didn't either. His reaction though was out of place. Mobility scooters, nightmare. Only last week when shopping in one of the lower priced supermarkets a woman in a mobility scooter was driving just slightly over the middle of the lane whilst a person she was with was at her side with a trolley. No one could pass. I asked the trolley user if he could go in front just a bit to allow the 3 customers behind to look at the shelves or to pass. The woman in the scooter went ballistic shouting about her rights and how people don't care, who did I think I was! I was so upset I left my trolley and exited the store. Another customer did too. We spoke abd tgen went back to the store to speak with the person in charge explaining perhaps there should be signs asking mobility scooter users and if with an escort of any kind to use only one lane at a time. The assistant had heard the shouting and swearing but by the time she got to the area no one was there. Probably nothing will be done and I will say not all mobility scooter users are morons but I will avoid like the plague in future.

grandtanteJE65 Mon 30-Jan-23 13:07:30

My experience is mild in comparison.

As I lifted a paper sack of cat litter onto the supermarket cash desk today, it split.

The man paying the cashier turned to me and said quite nastily, "The bag split." making it sound as if I shoud have prevented this.

"I can see that for myself!" I replied then handed the cashier a roll of bin bags and asked her to put them through first so I could get the torn cat-litter bag into one. She said I was welcome to fetch a whole bag, but I honestly didn't feel like traisping half-way through the shop again, so I man-handled the bag into the bag, so to speak.

And no, the so-called gentleman ahead of me did not offer to help.

He was my age too, so it is not only the young who can be unpleasant.

suelld Mon 30-Jan-23 13:05:46

Hithere
Are you on the wrong platform? This is Gransnet nota forum for rude young mothers?

dragonfly46 Mon 30-Jan-23 13:02:44

I came back to my car one day and a man in a car was waiting for me. He had a rant because I had dared to park beside him. I looked and told him I was well within the lines but he ranted for a further 5 minutes. Apparently he had to climb in through his window as he could not open his car door. He had a two door car so needed extra room apparently.

Another time I was wanting to reverse out of a parking spot and a young guy had parked behind me. He was still in his car so I waited for a bit to see if he would move on. Eventually I got out and asked him very politely to move so he did. But he moved so me blocked me in even more and stayed for a further 10 minutes.