What should I do with my granny's engagement ring?

singingnutty - your say your grandma played quite a big part in your life when you were a small child, which means that you must also have been important to her, and brought her some pleasure - the pleasure that a grandchild does bring. It was her choice to let you know how much she loved you. Also, the fact that your grandfather left her maybe two decades after he met her doesn't mean that she would automatically want to erase the happy memories she had of when she became engaged. Those memories don't suddenly become meaningless decades later when relationships change, so I would say that the ring was given to you as something precious to her, and I would keep it. Maybe in the future if you want to talk to you aunt about it in nothing more than a general conversation you might explore the reaction and if there's any comment that tells you she might like to wear it then you have another scenario to consider. Remember that your grandma knew she had daughters and that she could if she had wanted, bequeathed the ring to one of them, but chose not to.

She gave it to you. It's yours.

My daughter's mother in law to be and myself pooled some
family gold rings which had been collecting dust and were
all too small/very thin to be worn or appreciated.
Together they were melted down and made into a Wedding
ring much to the satisfaction of us all. Alot of Grandma's are
in that ring.

My mother lived to a great age. As the eldest girl, she had her mothers engagement and wedding ring. She wrote a letter of wishes that her rings and those of her mother were to be divided between her three daughters. Ah but 4 by three does not work and two were diamonds. It was decided that the eldest choose first so eldest sister took my mother's engagement ring with the better stones. I took my grandmothers thinking of my daughter and even myself as I never had a 'sparkler'. It fits perfectly also. That left the two wedding bands for young sister. Now the oldest is claiming she never took the good ring, totally forgotten how it was quickly chosen on day of funeral in mid covid. So it is now lost ....

What will happen to it when you die? Once something is given to a person, they then own it and it is up to them what they do with it. If you don't want it, and it sounds as if you don't, please do pass it on to your Aunt who looked after her.
You don't need to go into any explanation, just say that you think it would be nice if she had it now, you have enjoyed it and now you would like her to have it.
Hope this helps.x

I think I would offer it to your cousin, If she refuses then keep it without having to feel uncomfortable.

Yes give it to her daughter. You felt that was the right thing and it is, as you won't wear it. Her daughter is the offspring from that ring...her mother and father and it is right that she has it now. Well done, good thinking. Yes she gave it to you and that was nice. But now it needs to go through the family line via her daughter to her own daughters and on and on. ignore the grabby grabbersons here who think more about self-entitlement than what is right.

No right or wrong, do whatever would make you feel more comfortable

I had my Gm's wedding ring. I didn't know her. It did not fit me and sat on my box for years. So, I decided to sell online and bought another one. By coincidence it was the same year 1895.

I’d pass it on - you don’t want it, it would be a lovely gesture - win win 😘

Just do what you think you want to do !! It’s your ring and your choice! Xx

My sister and I shared our mother's jewellery; as she hasn't had a daughter she's given some of her share to mine (off her own bat, we hadn't discussed it.) I'd say, pass it on if you'd like to - and I would if I were you.

When my mother died, a ring was passed on to me that was bought for her by my grandma just after I was born. I`ve had it repaired, at some cost, it`s too small for me, but I wear it on a gold chain around my neck.

I would first check that your cousin likes it and would wear it. If she does, give it to her, if she doesn't find someone who does, and give it to whomever.

My husband’s grandmother’s two diamond rings went to her eldest daughter. When she died without ever having had children she left her estate to her favourite niece.

The niece (DH’s cousin) offered the rings to us, as she had no children either and DH was the only one of all the cousins to have daughters. I thought this was a nice gesture, but she then changed her mind and kept them. All her possessions later went straight to a house clearance company when she died, and I did feel sorry that the rings weren’t kept in the family. I’m pretty certain our girls would have remodelled and worn them in some form, and they both have a feel for family history.

So yes, if I were you I’d offer the ring to your cousins, so that it stayed in the family if anyone would use it. It’s entirely your decision though, of course. And perhaps, though you say you don’t have daughters, you may have a daughter in law or granddaughters who would like it?

I would give it to her, I think. It would be a token of appreciation for all that she did and is a part of her family history.
When my mum died we split her jewellery between us and i had her ring cleaned up and repaired and gave it to my daughter the following xmas. It’s precious to her, but not to me.

I inherited rings from my Mum and an Aunt, I do wear my Mums engagement and eternity rings but all the others I took to local jeweller who assayed there worth and with the money I was able to buy a lovely Pearl dropper that I wear every day. It reminds me of my dear Mum and Aunt and will go to my daughter eventually and hopefully my granddaughter in time.

Chestnut

Don't worry about what you should do, just what you want to do. If you would feel happier giving the ring to her daughter then offer it to her. There is no right or wrong in this, just do whatever you prefer to do.

This..

I wear my mother’s engagement ring, and also my grandmother’s.

I remember reading posts where people said they couldn't possibly wear their mother's engagement ring.

I do, I'm sure she'd be happy to know that, especially since it was nearly sent to the charity shop by mistake!

Chestnut

Don't worry about what you should do, just what you want to do. If you would feel happier giving the ring to her daughter then offer it to her. There is no right or wrong in this, just do whatever you prefer to do.

I agree with Chestnut and others who say something similar.

It's yours now, to do whatever you want with.
You could leave it in your will to her or her DD if she has one if you decide to keep it in the meantime.

We had a similar situation and it was all sorted out happily although, luckily, it wasn't my decision to make.

It's yours now to do what you feel is best. As it's a ring, it can't do any harm even if you leave it in your jewellery box until you die and your children decide who gets it. As it could cause problems between three daughters I'd leave it to the one you mention or to a (great)granddaughter of the house. That way it has a family connection. You can't rule from the grave. Once your possessions move to new owners it becomes their property and decision.

I agree with Carenza123 I think it's very sad to leave things unloved and unworn in a drawer, my daughter was left lots of jewelry by her grandma, they weren't her style so she's had them repurposed into something she does wear.

I say, do what YOU want to do with the ring. But rather than keep it lying in a drawer, unused, a female family member may like it and best of all - use it. I inherited a lovely ring from my mother in law, my daughter also admired it. Rather than leave it to her in my will, I wanted to pass it on to her while I am living, so I can see her enjoying wearing it.

1987H2001M2002Inanny

I have been wearing my Grans wedding ring since 1996 when her last daughter died and family possessions were shared.It sits inbetween my engagement and wedding rings .I had it dated and they said 1940s.As she and Grandad married in 1905 it must have been a second ring so I am left wondering what happened to the frtirst one.It will go to my own Grandaughter one day. It brings happy memories.

My own mother replaced her wedding ring because the original had worn so thin, it was incorporated into the new one. That is maybe what happened with your Granny