What should I do with my granny's engagement ring?

That seems a really good idea singing, glad it’s been decided.

Thanks to everyone who has posted here with advice. I still am not quite sure what to do but I am leaning towards the suggestion someone made of putting together a memory box and the ring could go in there. I would write down many of the memories I have about my grandmother and I have a really nice photo of her to put in as well. I would also put in memories about other family members no longer here and small items which belonged to them. I like this idea. I have a silver napkin ring which belonged to my maternal grandfather and which has the date of my grandparents silver wedding engraved inside it. The memory would be a good place for it. Once again, thanks to all - I have had a lot of food for thought.

However, I came to think that the ring ought to have gone to her daughter, my aunt

If it helps (and if you're still here), singingnutty then, yes, I think it should go down the female side of the family.
That's what we did, although we all had to make the decisions ourselves as no express wishes were made about jewellery.

The OP’s grandmother didn’t get rid of it and laugh about it though - she gave it to her eldest grandchild. It obviously still meant something to her.

Have I missed something? It's your grandmother's engagement ring which was given to her by the same man she then married who then left her for another woman? I must admit I do have a terrible habit of speed reading and miss things out but if I am correct I would have no qualms about donating it to a charity shop. At least then someone somewhere will benefit from it. I would think your grandfather would be feeling very sorry for himself as he should and your granny will be sitting on her cloud laughing her socks off!

singingnutty They may be worth more than you know. I think gold is around £2500/ounce at the moment. Therefore one gram would be at least £100 and more if there are precious stones in it. If the ring does not hold any sentimental memories for you, you could sell it, or maybe even have it made into another band for yourself or someone in the family. I have both my mums grans engagement ring and my mums original ring, she outgrew that and had another. That one I gave to my niece as a keepsake or to wear.

All you lucky people! My mum had no jewellery for me to inherit when she died at 45 (I was 12) and, as far as I know, neither did my grandmother (my paternal grandmother died before I was born). All I have of my mum’s is a battered, dented silver locket of very little value but which is priceless to me.

I agree you should do what makes you feel happiest, and most comfortable. My mum gave me her 2 very thin wedding rings (she was widowed then re-married to my Dad) just before she died. I had them made into a new wedding ring for my marriage later that same year. She also left me a couple of other rings that I would not have worn, so I had them made into a set of modern stacker rings by a very talented jeweller friend. I love wearing them and will pass them on to my DGD eventually.

My wedding ring is my Nans. We had to have it sized up as my fingers are bigger. I treasure it and makes me feel she is with me everyday and it’s nearly 18 years since she passed away .

Spot on Chesnut

Keep it

This thread has really made me think. I have my mother’s engagement ring (to my stepfather who I loved dearly) but I just don’t wear the sort of ring it is. I’ve thought of having it remade somehow so that I could wear it. Mmmm ….

Still. I agree with Elred if you feel you can do it.
Singingnutty. Lots of advice and opinions on here. Do what you feel is best for you.

I think giving it to the charity would be a lovely thing to do, Still, knowing the proceeds of it will go to help others.

Still - If you feel able discuss the ring with your daughter. ask her what she thinks you should do. If you’re unable to do this donate it to an appropriate charity..

I have my maternal grandmothers very modest engagement. Sometimes I wear it, when I want to channel her forthright and in charge qualities.

Some things are of a value beyond their material worth.

I think you should keep the ring and wear it as a tribute to your gran. She must have thought a lot of the ring, and of you, even though her marriage did not work out. It was your grandmother's ring, she was good to you. You should wear it with pride and love.

When my children were small (1951) we lived in a small top floor flat in London and were not very well off. So we sold my grandmothers rings and bought a touring caravan on a site in the country so that every weekend and school holidays we could escape to the country.

I'm with Chestnut. Do whatever feels most comfortable to you. Seems reasonable to offer it to the daughter who has looked after your aunt. If you're worried that it might cause family friction, then keep it in its box and leave it to whoever you like in your will!

Why not use the materials in the ring made into say, earrings or a pendant. Your aunt gave it to you so accept it.I have two wedding rings, the original with engraving inside became too small and if enlarged the engraving would be destroyed. 2nd one a replacement with no engraving. Both would have gone to my DD for her to have along with my mother's rings. Sadly the rings came back to me on her death (no children). All going to only GD now. I know of quite a few women who have converted their own wedding and engagement rings into other bits of jewellery following death of their partner.

I have my grandmothers beautiful and expensive engagement ring however my grandfather sexually abused me and I can't bear to wear it. I have thought of giving it to my daughter or giving it to a charity that specialises in supporting survivors of sexual abuse.

Personally I would have flogged it asap seeing as the bloke who bought it was a wrong'un!!! Give it to nearest relative.

You know what you feel you ought to do with the ring, so why not just do it?

The only reason for not giving it to one of your cousins, as far as I can see, could be that you are afraid the other two might be hurt.

If this is what is holding you back from giving the ring to one of them, I suggest you give it, saying that it is the only thing you have that was your and their grandmother's and that as you have no-one to leave it to, and you would like it to remain in the family that you hope one of your cousins, or their daughters would like to have it.

I had a silver bangle given to me by my paternal grandmother. I sent it as a present to a little great.niece on that side of the family, and it was greatly appreciated.

Yes halfpint1 I thought of that as a good idea... but the younger folk dont seem to be bothered with the wedding bit. Six great granchildren with no 'married' parents. Also there are different grades of gold in the two sets of rings. I am sad also at how little interest there was in having a memento from her house as she stipulated in her 'letter of wishes'.

Clearly most everyone here feels the ring should (as is) go to whomever you are comfortable with.

Another option that might please you… have you considered taking g’ma’s and your mother’s rings to a jeweler to see if the metals can be melted down and refashioned into a new more modern style? Something that you would wear?

If there are stones, a good jewelry designer would be able to incorporate (or not). Of course this does involve money to create a new sentimental piece. But the chances of it being accepted in the future as a saught-after piece… it might be worth it because of the upgrade, and it won’t be forgotten, lost or even thrown away.
Cheers!
USA Gundy