Is the grass always greener?

Re advice : live there for a year before making a move. About 10 years ago grind of mine decided they would like to live in NZ as their son and DIL Lived there. They rented a house and lived there for a year to try it out. Loved it and after pretty extensive and lengthy preparations eventually moved. And for four years or so all was good. Then almost out of the blue when they seemed really settled into their new life made a decision to go back to U.K.. few weeks later they were back. I think it very much depends at which stage of your life you move. The later you leave it the more difficult it is to settle elsewhere.

Adelaide is not so humid, though, is it?

I think it's the damp heat and humidity which is so hard to endure.

Lived in the Adelaide Hills in South Australia for my entire life, heat is not that much of an issue and I never want to live anywhere else.

Me too, srn, Cyprus, Abu Dhabi and Oman - 13 years in all. I enjoyed it all at the time but wouldn’t want to live in any of them again - especially not in those Gulf summers!

I have lived abroad twice in my life, due to my husbands work, once in the Middle East and once in Germany, both times for a few years. Although I wouldn't have missed each opportunity for the world, I found each time that once the initial excitement had worn off, you just live your same life but somewhere else. Both times just made me appreciate England more.

We came to the USA with my husband’s job. I did not want to come and always thought we would return home eventually. We have been here for 35 years! DS, wife and DGC all here. I love it, and never thought I could be happy outside of England. Since reaching retirement, despite what people seem to think, we have a wonderful medical system, which at our age is pretty much covered by Social Security. No waiting lists, fantastic preventative medicine. Great friends, great weather, I could go on and on. However, England is still my first love, and we avidly watch any and all British TV programmes. We are coming back for a visit at the end of the month for the first time in 4 years, to see all our dear family. So excited!

My sister moved to New Zealand in 2001. It was her husband's wish not hers and in 2002 I visited them, but I could not get back to UK quick enough. They are insular, boring, and I missed living in a country with history. The scenery is nice but we have just as much pretty scenery in UK. Would never go there again.

That’s sad to hear LovelyLady - how awful to feel like that about this country after living here for 40 years. Where did you come from? Is there any chance you’ll be able to go back to the country you consider home?

LadyGracie

I was an 'army brat' and also married into the forces so spent the first 40 years of my life a bit of a nomad. I always adored Yorkshire and would, one day, like to go back there to live. A dream that will never, probably, be fulfilled.

I was also brought up in a military family. My mother loved being abroad in hot countries and this is the reason why she persuaded my father to emigrate to Australia after he retired. They were hoping that my husband and I would join them, but Australia never appealed to me.
I love England, it's history, countryside and the cooler climate.

We moved to Canada in the late 70’s because of a job offer - our children were young 3 and 6. I didn’t want to leave England, family, friends etc., but as the offer was only for a three year period we rented out our house rather than sell it - so I knew we were coming back! No, nearly 50 years later we still live in Canada, as does our son and daughter and five grandchildren. We’re Canadian through and through and love our country….it’s given all of us a very good quality of life. But I also love my yearly ‘vacation’ trips back to England in my retirement years (every couple of years or so) and these visits always stir happy memories of our early life there! But that was then…..and this is now …….I still keep my British passport current, even though we are long time Canadian citizens. England to me is a wonderful vacation destination - it never disappoints!

My mother had this saying, you may think the grass is greener on the other side but it still needs cutting meaning you still have to make it work if you decide to move.

If I didn’t have ongoing parental ties here in the UK I’d be on a plane with a one way ticket to Greece.

Kenilworth is still pretty nanna8; however, we’ve got new houses galore being built and we are dreading the effect on our little town centre. We used to own a flat in Nerja on the Costa del Sol and it was our dream to live there in the winter. Sadly, age and illness have stopped this. We still feel blessed to live in Britain … fabulous scenery, wonderful NHS, freedom of speech, equality. I could go on and on. Watching the terrible new from Turkey and Syria we are counting our blessings.

I think I’m now 63 and can see it from both sides. My niece has moved there and loves it but has an endless stream of visitors coming for months to visit. Whereas if she’d stayed here she wouldn’t have had to put up with that. Saying so though she has a business and a amazing life there and is quite happy can’t see her ever returning here.

Moved to England 40 years ago for work. I disliked it then and still do. Our family here is now settled and I just can’t leave them.
It’s not a friendly place to live and is much more expensive. I know we’ve done well financially here but at what a price!!

I've lived in Singapore, Germany, Sweden, Portugal, and also travelled abroad extensively both with H.M Forces and with subsequent civilian employment. If you're an ex-pat and quite happy with it, I'm happy for you, but don't think for a moment that those of us who choose to remain here in the U.K. are somehow unfulfilled, and are "stuck with it", as nothing could be further from the truth. I'm so very happy here, settled in beautiful Northumberland, close to family and friends and to all those familiar places which give my roots such a firm and rewarding foundation. Home is where the heart is, and my heart is most definitely here.

Think it’s all swings and roundabouts, some good some bad
about most countries and places
Compared to those poor souls in Turkey I think we all should be grateful we’re where we are, doesn’t seem so bad now does it
And I was moaning about price of my gas … made me think 🤔

I moved over to the USA for nearly 5 years for my husband's work. We lived in NJ (seasons much like the UK but with more snow), Florida- just north of Orlando. Scorching heat & very high humidity in the summer. Finally Atlanta! Old Southern state of Georgia - so imagine Klu Klax Clan in next county etc and being told the I "couldn't possibly have a black babysitter!!!" We returned to the UK and its the best decision we ever made!

I was born in Nova Scotia, but my parents marriage broke down and we came back to the uk when I was two, so no memories. When I was 48 contact was eventually made with my father who then lived on Vancouver island. We visited him and my step mother a few times, and out of all the places I’ve visited it was the only place I feel we could have settled. But we didn’t, and goodness knows the uk is far from perfect but it’s home, and I couldn’t think of living anywhere else. My stepmother had lived all around the world and always said the uk was the most beautiful and civilised country in the world.

I don't think the grass is necessarily greener on the other side of the fence.

However, I think it is natural to criticize the unfortunate aspects of the country we live in.

There is not much pont in complaining about the weather, as we cannot change it, but we can and should be critical of the things that are within human control and could be better than they are.

After all, if we do not see the faults and attempt to rectify them, nothing will change, will it?

I would prefer to live somewhere where it did not rain as much as it does here, and where summers were hot, rather than a mixture of all seasons with temperatures rarely rising above 30 degrees.

However, in order to do so, I would have to move a good deal south of Denmark and either pay taxes in both the country I moved to and this one, or do without the Danish medical system, which is good and provided free-of-charge, as it is funded out of Income tax and other revenues.

Emotionally, I feel at home here too, which is also important and I know that I have both the language and the knowledge of the social and legal systems to deal with whatever life throws at me.

I imagine others, like me, stay where we "belong" because of these considerations.

My family emigrated to Australia in 1949 as my mum was in poor health (affected by the cold winter) plus my married sister was there. I certainly did not want to leave as I was nearly 15 and left all my friends and other family. Husband was from London, His family had lived in London but also emigrated to Australia. My three children are Australians but only one son lives there.He has just gone back after a 2 month visit to St Lucia where my other son lives. My only daughter lives in UK. I returned to UK after PNG became independent and was happy in London until the death of my husband. I loved Australia but always yearned for England and I still look back back and remember just how beautiful it is but age intervened and now I live here in the warmth of the people and the weather. In that famous English remark “mustn’t grumble” You never know how life will affect you!

My DS married a Canadian and now has Canadian nationality. It suits him totally as he is an outdoor guy. He loves fishing, boating and skiing. It is a beautiful country and I enjoy visiting but can't take the cold winters.

There are lots of places where I know I could have a good life, but I grew up in the UK and love our landscape, historical buildings, and friendly people - and much more. I simply know how to live here - I have lived abroad and liked it, but I didn't have that same sense of 'knowing I belonged'. It isn't perfect - there is so much we need to do to improve impact on climate change, and for the most disadvantaged people in our society. But I am constantly grateful for my life here, for seeing trees and green fields, my friends and family and for my sense of having deep roots.

Sodapop, we also lived in Southwest France and we loved it, not touristy at all, very unsophisticated rural authentic France. We made so many French friends - when the French befriend you they are friends for life. We still talk about our lives there, but now that we’re back living in Southwest England we’re finding similarities to French life we hadn’t noticed before, and reminiscing too about the differences.

We lived in beautiful surroundings, but nothing to equal the beauty of the countryside and coast here in the UK (although we could see the Pyrenees in the distance).

The language was a definite challenge in France, much more so than I thought it would be, made slightly more difficult due to pronunciations I never learned at school, probably equivalent to a west-country accent here.

We feel comfortable and at home here, but so glad we experienced life in France.

This is a very interesting thread. We visited NZ just prior to covid, and although it is a beautiful country in places, I just couldn't get my head around how young it is, we had a guide proudly showing off a church built in late 1890s, our village pub is 2 hundred years older and not even listed!

As to the start of the thread, the question about grass being greener; I watch with interest 'Wanted Down Under' and hear people talking about wanting more family time, more time spent outside, etc., but they they leave their support network/babysitters behind and I wonder how they manage. Oh, and we do have 'outside' here too. I think some of the people on this programme are running away from problems in their lives, problems which will move with them.