Is the grass always greener?

I have written about this on another thread, but will reiterate here. My daughter and her family moved to New Zealand some eighteen months ago. Her husband had wanted her to relocate ever since they married but she always refused. Anyway they are both doctors and worked very long hours throughout Covid, whilst simultaneously being told by the media/patients that GPs were seeing no patients and hiding behind locked surgery doors. So she finally agreed to go to New Zealand where GPs work 9-5 for four days a week and get the same pay as the very long hours earned in England. We have just returned from a two months visit (we stayed in rentals) where we helped our daughter pack up and move house because her marriage has broken down, and then we did the childcare during the long summer holidays whilst she worked.

So, what are the advantages? She works fewer hours for the same pay.

The disadvantages in my opinion; firstly that she is so far away from her family and it is an extremely long and expensive journey in order to see them. Then the the expense as food is at least one and a half times as expensive as England, everything else, all goods and services are far more expensive, there is far less choice available in the supermarkets, everyone seems to drive rather old cars, including her, many NZ citizens cannot afford to travel abroad, or buy decent cars or houses. Services are slow, so if there is a problem people shrug their shoulders and say ‘it’s New Zealand.’ You would be surprised how many times we heard that. For example, although my daughter signed and started paying for an internet connection immediately on taking her new house in December, it’s only just been connected last week, despite numerous calls and emails. Additionally everyone pays to see a GP (perhaps that’s why she can work fewer hours) and the cost ranges from about £25 up to about £80 or more. If a person needs surgery they can only be put on the waiting list if it is open. Frequently waiting lists are simply closed, no chance of treatment unless you pay. GPs cannot prescribe the best drug for the patient unless the patient can afford to pay the full cost of the drug because the drugs available via the state system are limited to the cheapest. Patients pay for all their drugs unless they are fourteen years old or under.
The outdoor life style? What? My daughter runs, she ran in England and she runs in New Zealand. Her children take part in a lot of sports, they did in England too. We managed a total of two barbecues whilst we were there.
The education system is apparently poor and so my grandchildren attend an English style independent school. There are apparently nine universities in New Zealand but I’m told they are not of the same standard as English or American universities. I don’t know whether they are or not, but that’s what I’m told.
In New Zealand people go to work, go to the supermarket, wash the car, do the garden just the same as they do in England or elsewhere. No, the grass is not greener, but it seems to be something of a fashion for people to imagine that it is. My daughter wondered if we’d like to go to live in New Zealand. Absolutely not, I love living here in England. I’ll stick to visiting them.

I've got friends in Australia who love it there, although they tell me it's not perfect. When I visited I found the people so friendly and open.
However, my heart is in this lovely part of Devon not that far from where I was born , and I couldn't live anywhere else.
I'm so lucky to live in this beautiful place.

I think a lot of British people of our age ,lived their childhood with parents who had travelled the world whilst in the forces during WW2 a lot came back with itchy feet. My father was always talking about emigrating and quoting people who had. Maybe it was the product of the uncertain life they had led during that time.
Most of my reli's in Australia were £5 pound poms. My parents visited quite a few times but in the end, never emigrated.
Britain today is an unsettled country again and I think this is where the idea comes from. We mainly hear of the ones who stay but I do know ones who came on holiday and never went back.

Aussiegran - such a lovely post ! I have friends who went to Australia years ago, around the same time I came here to England/Wales. Except for the damp, rainy weather, I love it here - the people are the best part of it. So friendly, pop-in for coffee at any time. No appointments needed between friends. Take me as I am, sort of attitude.
The UK has history and that is what attracts tourists. And keeps the coffers topped up.

When we came we knew we would not be able to afford to change our minds and go back. We didn’t visit our parents or the UK for ten long years which was hard and I couldn’t believe the lovely green fields when we did visit. We had 4 children by the time we could afford to visit but after a couple of weeks I got incredibly homesick for Australia because it was a very different way of life then. Not so much now.

I agree that the grass can sometimes seem greener, especially when the daily news on tv/radio/newspapers etc, focus in so much on all that is grim (and, yes, certain things are pretty grim). However, this grimness will be apparent to some degree or another just about anywhere in the world. No country is utopia, they all have good features and bad ones.

There’s much to be unhappy about here in the UK, but also much to be happy and grateful for.

I think it’s hard to make an unbiased judgement about anywhere when you are looking at it from the outside in.
Also, visiting a place can only give you a brief snapshot of a small part of that place. It can look and feel wonderful, but living there permanently might not be quite so wonderful.

My advice to anyone considering a big move, is to rent and live there for a whole year, through all seasons, before making a decision. Not easy to do if a job is involved, and schools for children.

I would not want to live on the other side of the world, I have to say. Being a one day drive, one day train journey, or short flight away, is fine, no worse than living in Inverness or Corwall.

My dad worked in New Zealand for a year. He loved it and wanted us to go and live there. My mum was adamant that she was not leaving so here we are. I was disappointed as I would have liked to go after hearing his descriptions of NZ.
I live in a lovely part of the UK so am happy where I am .

My DD, SiL emigrated to Australia 5 years ago and love it. Having been for a months visit recently, we can see why. Good infrastructure, lots for young families, good healthcare with clean modern hospitals, easy to see a GP. Lots of their friends are young British couples who’ve also made the move. There’s more I could add. It’s hard for us not seeing them, but we fully support and understand their decision.

Me neither, never met anyone anything like that at all. I was thinking ( tongue in cheek) Queensland? To come to that Australians haven’t referred to females as Sheila’s since the 1960s - at least I have never heard it. We all like our typecasting, don’t we?

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We like NotSpaghetti went abroad in the 70’s to live as my DH’s company moved us. I had a very young baby and desperately wanted to stay in the UK. I was told it would just be for 2 years.
In fact it turned into 18 years and our DC were brought up in the Netherlands as Dutch children.
When it was time to come back I really didn’t want to and I am still a little homesick for my life over there although I love where I live now.

Btw my DSiL is Australian living over here and he is not brash and outspoken at all. He is just a lovely guy.

I think anywhere is what you make it and there is is good and back in everywhere and everything.

I have two sisters in aus, sister one moved yet again, after fleeing a close fire and the intense heat. She is closer to sister two now but remained further out from the town and yet again this year, had a bush fire within seeing distance. They are making the best of it now and miss lots of the uk, particularly the historic areas and beautiful lush greenery and the people and their 4 siblings in the uk

We all made our choices, to stay or to go and acceptance is the way forward, to be happy within wherever our paths took us

found the Australian people a lot more friendly and outgoing than the ones in the UK and they spoke their mind this is the very bit I don’t like I do like people to speak their mind but in a kindly way I find the brash ‘ahh don’t let the sheelaghs round the barbee that’s a man’s job’ attitude hideous and I m not exaggerating I had that said to me
I also had a NZ man ‘tell me’ that my country was closed down at night as it wasn’t safe for anyone to go out because of the marauding immigrants I politely asked him when he was last in UK and he told me he’d never been but could read the papers my next remark was maybe a marginally less polite

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AussieGran59, have you lived here in NZ for any length of time?

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I think when you emigrate to some place new, after careful consideration, you need to appreciate the differences and not hark back about how different it is from ‘home’. And keep in mind why you left your home country in the first place. Nowhere on earth is perfect, but continual comparisons with ‘home’ are not helpful. I’m forever grateful my parents made the brave decision to emigrate. NZ is a small country with a small population, we have space and beauty and what blessings those are. With a small population we can’t possibly have the diversity larger country’s do, wherever you live having ‘it all’ isn’t possible.

No- we loved it here from the moment we got here in the early 70s. The last place we lived in the UK was Kenilworth which was very pretty . I found the Australian people a lot more friendly and outgoing than the ones in the UK and they spoke their mind which I also like. I was brought up in London , 20 minutes from Trafalgar Square and I couldn't wait to leave. Sure I miss the history and some aspects, including old friends and relatives . I notice every single one of our friends and relatives have left London and most live either in a coastal town or a small village . I love the weather here but we are further south near the Yarra valley so it doesn't get as hot as other areas. We have lived in other parts of Australia,too but we like it here. I like NZ,too and have been there many times but for me, like Tasmania, it is a bit too countrified and small villagey. Thank goodness we are all different, hey?

Gramaretto my son moved to NZ 27 years ago he and his family have become NZ citizens now I have been there a few times and it’s a beautiful country but I can see it’s faults and
I d never want to live there there’s a lot of things that wouldn’t suit me at all and having lived in other countries with the services when I was young I find it old fashionably colonial in attitude

I like where the stork dropped me down, warts and all and I recognise all those warts but it’s my home and I am fiercely protective of it

I came to Australia as a young teenager from England with my family many moons ago .Took a while to settle in . Got married , had one child . I have always wondered what my life in England would have been like . I’ve been back only for a couple of very short holidays with hubby . I loved it. When we came to Australia I’m sure it was my dad’s decision it was for a better life . I really don’t think that’s the reality of it, all my relatives in England have the same quality life style as me out here. I do love the English countryside and I sometimes imagine myself retiring there, but that would probably be in my next life. Who knows, maybe I would have wanted to come back to Oz if I did go back ,but I’ll never know.

My DS emigrated to NZ 15 years ago. He loves it and will never live here again. But I think that's partly because he was young and adopted the way of life "the whole package" and has built his life there.
He comes here for visits and there's lots about Britain he likes, but he is fiercely loyal to his new home.

I have been to both Australia and NZ and I am sure I could be happy in either but not now. I am too old now.

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