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How many children did you have and was it on purpose ?

(144 Posts)
Witzend Sun 12-Feb-23 18:03:55

I do admire you for fostering, Floradora.

We had (have) two, both planned. Dh and I both came from very similar families with 4 children, good parents who valued education, but always skint - we didn’t want ours to be like us, never any spare cash for anything.

When I first met him, one of the (OK, daft) things we had in common was that orange squash and chocolate biscuits were rare treats in our houses when we were children.

And I didn’t want mine to go to senior school with everything hand-me-down from my sister, inc. shoes, when virtually everybody else had everything new.
Might sound very shallow now, but….

Dds get on fine, but dd1 often said she’d have loved more siblings. Some time after her first two, very close together, she had a ‘surprise’ 3rd baby - supposedly an accident, but since she’d been very broody for another, I can’t help thinking it was accidentally on purpose….

Norah Sun 12-Feb-23 17:55:12

Four all planned, four miscarriages between second and third.

Redhead56 Sun 12-Feb-23 17:53:07

I waited three years for my son to arrive it just took time. I miscarried a year later I was determined to have another baby because I didn't want an only child. My daughter arrived three years later. I was desperate for my children mother nature made me wait but they are both gifts

MrsKen33 Sun 12-Feb-23 17:48:18

First one , not on purpose. Second , six years later, planned.

Charleygirl5 Sun 12-Feb-23 17:47:36

Because of the way I was brought up, I did not want any children. I was terrified at home and frightened at school. I enjoy other children but I do not have any responsibility for them.

I have never regretted it.

busybeejay Sun 12-Feb-23 17:44:30

I have two children but they are pregnancies 3 and 4 for me.Six weeks before our first baby was due we were told “he had multiple abnormalities,including Spina Bifida,which were not conducive to survival.He was stillborn.Should I have fought for him whatever the problems.It still haunts me to this day,50 years on.Second pregnancy I got mumps,badly,at 8 weeks.Recommended to terminate.
The only consolation is that we wouldn’t have had M and S who are wonderful and we now have 5 grandchildren.
Barbarax

Ladyleftfieldlover Sun 12-Feb-23 17:43:30

We have three, all planned. I had a miscarriage between the first two. A daughter first and on her second birthday, a son. This was also my grandmother’s birthday. OH only wanted two, but with a little persuasion had a second son when elder son was two and three months! This year they will be 42, 40 and 38.

M0nica Sun 12-Feb-23 17:42:20

I had two, both planned. 20 months between them, one of each and 50 years on they remain close friends.

62Granny Sun 12-Feb-23 17:40:39

One and never got around to having another, before I got pregnant I thought we would have more than one but after I had one that need was never there. We were happy with our lot.

BlueBelle Sun 12-Feb-23 17:39:17

I had three and lost the fourth

rafichagran Sun 12-Feb-23 17:38:01

I have two. I had another one but unfortunately it was not to be.

VioletSky Sun 12-Feb-23 17:31:35

5, only one was planned

It's been a struggle at times being a large family but we have always managed to provide for them and it's been an absolute joy.

Nothing ever got boring, all those first kicks and first steps and accomplishments

It always surprised me how the love grew every time as I was always afraid there wasn't more to give due to being an unloved child myself

foxie48 Sun 12-Feb-23 17:31:06

I've had two, fourteen years apart (different fathers). The first was planned, the second was a complete shock but has given me so much joy. tbh I thought second the second was the menopause! I sometimes tease my daughter that if I'd horses and dogs before having children she wouldn't be here, she jokes back that if my contraception had worked, she wouldn't be here (which is true!) Thank goodness it failed!

Grandma70s Sun 12-Feb-23 17:23:53

I had two, both planned (though they took a bit longer than I wanted), and both boys. I’d have had a third if I could have guaranteed a girl. I’d have loved to have a daughter, but at least I have a granddaughter now.

watermeadow Sun 12-Feb-23 17:21:27

We had four, all planned. They should have all been at two year intervals but between numbers three and four I had a miscarriage and a puppy. The puppy didn’t stop my broodiness, I’d have loved several more babies but we were very hard up.
I’m sure they would all have preferred material things to three sisters each.

timetogo2016 Sun 12-Feb-23 17:19:42

We had 2 both planned.
Both good friends in their late 30`s.

Smileless2012 Sun 12-Feb-23 17:00:47

We had two who were planned. Would have been three, the third wasn't planned and sadly I miscarried. Never imagined having more than two but the third was a joyful surprise that was short lived.

ExperiencedNotOld Sun 12-Feb-23 17:00:33

Two, purposely, close enough to be friends. They are still, in their late 20s.

Floradora9 Sun 12-Feb-23 16:56:37

I look at families with lots of children and wonder how they managed. We only had two on purpose but added babies whom we fostered even when DD was still in nappies . My dream would have been to have lots of children but enough money to have help with housework etc.. We put our DC through uni with no debts having financed them ourselves and have ofter given a helping hand financially which you could not do with loads of children .