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How many children did you have and was it on purpose ?

(145 Posts)
Floradora9 Sun 12-Feb-23 16:56:37

I look at families with lots of children and wonder how they managed. We only had two on purpose but added babies whom we fostered even when DD was still in nappies . My dream would have been to have lots of children but enough money to have help with housework etc.. We put our DC through uni with no debts having financed them ourselves and have ofter given a helping hand financially which you could not do with loads of children .

larry5 Sun 19-Feb-23 22:23:55

I have three - two wonderful boys and then a girl 15 years later all planned. I had a miscarriage before my first and fourteen years after my 2nd I had a late period - I was not pregnant- which led to Dh and I deciding that actually a third child was a very good idea. My daughter was born when I was 40

My daughter was a lovely addition to our family and her son is currently my only grandchild but she would like another child sometime. The two boys have never wanted children which is fine.

Grandma2213 Sun 19-Feb-23 02:53:39

Three sons in five years none planned. Became a happy single parent 4 years later. Their dad was much harder work!! They turned into great dads themselves and I now have 7 grandchildren again none planned but so much love.

Magrithea Sat 18-Feb-23 16:43:54

Three, all planned (well, I planned!).

nanna8 Fri 17-Feb-23 05:44:32

We have 4 and between number 2 and 3 we fostered. I thought we would have 3 but we welcomed number 4 happily. I love all the babies in the extended family and the young adults but I don’t particularly like some of the kids around these days, very demanding. Of course mine were well mannered and considerate ( haha)

biglouis Thu 16-Feb-23 11:28:28

I dont hate children but I find babies boring.

When I was a librarian I used to run craft activities making masks, castles etc with about 10 or 12 kids or take them to the park on a nature quiz. But then at the end I handed them back to their parents like a parcel and that was the end of my responsilility.

My nephew says I have some very male attitudes in that when I embark on a course of action I always ask "how does this serve my interests?" I could never see what use or value children would be to me. Unlike unwanted pets you cant just rehome them.

BlueSapphire Wed 15-Feb-23 16:36:35

Two planned, but delayed as I had two miscarriages before
the first one.
Three years between them which was about right. They are now in their 40s and great friends.
I would have liked a third, DH wasn't keen, and when I got second baby home I soon decided that I couldn't cope with more than two!

Minibookworm Tue 14-Feb-23 15:39:20

No children for us due to infertility problems. I would have liked 2 ideally, but one would have been a blessing. It was hard when I was younger, but I grew to accept how things were meant to be. I now dote on my niece and 2 great nephews.

glammanana Tue 14-Feb-23 08:01:43

We had three children 1 x daughter then after 4 miscarriages due to unforseen tear in uterus had a son 5 yrs later then another son arrived as a surprise 6 yrs later such a lovely surprise they are now 52,47,41 they all get on so well with other and are such a joy.

Sasta Tue 14-Feb-23 07:38:12

I am really so sad to read this Kate1949 and Charleygirl. I’m sorry this was your experience. Sending all good wishes. xx

Sleepygran Mon 13-Feb-23 23:51:58

On,y had one, after some time trying,a very wanted baby.
Motherhood was terrifying for me,such a huge responsibility keeping her safe from horriblepaedophiles ( didn’t want history to repeat itself)
She tells me now she had a wonderful childhood and the cycle of abuse didn’t continue for her,so all in all I did ok!

Musicgirl Mon 13-Feb-23 22:30:57

Three - all planned. Both my husband and myself are the oldest of three.

Treetops05 Mon 13-Feb-23 21:08:11

We had 2, a daughter followed by a son...I'd planned for and wanted 3, but my body had other ideas. Due to our blood groups I struggled to keep my daughter and was 5 weeks early, my son, same reasons 4-5 months in hospital and he was 5 weeks late. I was heartbroken when Dr's were adamantly against number 3.

Looking back? 2 was what we could just about afford, and it turns out that i couldn't have mentally coped with another. So I'm now grateful for those we have rather than the one we didn't.

Palmtree Mon 13-Feb-23 21:05:48

Three boys and one girl, all planned except the first which was a happy accident. There were some hard times when they were young and money was tight but we got through it with no regrets. All now grown up with good jobs and so far we have one wonderful grandchild.

sazz1 Mon 13-Feb-23 20:56:53

3 children not all were planned. They were all wanted as I didn't terminate

Saggi Mon 13-Feb-23 20:43:10

Two born 4 years apart due to two miscarriages in between them …. the miscarriages were late enough to know they were both girls….my first child was a girl… I now do not regret my lost babies as my son was born after I endured 64 injections during pregnancy to keep him in the womb …. and he’s more than worth the misery of those injections…and the misery of his lost sisters.

Katek Mon 13-Feb-23 20:39:56

Three - 2 daughters and a son, all planned. We have big gaps between them by choice.

Grammaretto Mon 13-Feb-23 20:21:17

DD had a girl first and an old friend of hers said "you've got your girl" as if to say it doesn't matter what happens next but you have your friend.

Hemgranot Mon 13-Feb-23 19:48:29

One child, on purpose. Although I fully expected not to get pregnant due to my age so it was a surprise too.

Foxglove77 Mon 13-Feb-23 19:31:56

I had 2 children, a girl then a boy close together and stopped there. My sister had 4 boys but desperately wanted a girl.

SparklyGrandma Mon 13-Feb-23 19:05:59

I had one .. an ectopic pregnancy next ruled any others out. I have had happy family times as an adult and concentrated on working with vulnerable people as a way of giving my maternal instinct something to do. Homeless teenagers, running a women’s refuge, working for small mental health charities and campaigning for better outcomes for young people leaving care. I would have loved 5 children but it was not to be…

Wren5 Mon 13-Feb-23 18:30:38

I had one child, a son who was not planned & I had just qualified as a Nurse & living at home with my mother & father. I moved in with the father of my child, mistake, he was a violent man & unfaithful . We did not stay together & I got sterilized at age 29, I have never regretted my decision not to have any more children. I have 2 grandchildren now & they are my complete world.

Jennyluck Mon 13-Feb-23 18:28:44

3 for me, planned on having 4, but after a fast and painful delivery, I changed my mind. But I do regret not having the forth.
Dh and myself both only children, so yearned for a big family.

queenofsaanich69 Mon 13-Feb-23 17:36:58

Four,two planned then surprise twins,best surprise in the world,worked out wonderfully & now have seven grandchildren.

pensionpat Mon 13-Feb-23 17:08:19

Maw and grandmac.
Same here. Had 3. Have 2.

Midell Mon 13-Feb-23 16:40:04

None, entirely by choice, never a moment's regret.