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...Joke...

(59 Posts)
VB000 Sun 12-Feb-23 17:25:38

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor to have a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:
"Well, doc, it's like this --- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too. First with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked and said, "You asked your neighbour?"

The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

Mollygo Tue 14-Feb-23 09:30:23

VB000 missed that before today-but I laughed anyway. Thanks grin

lemsip Tue 14-Feb-23 09:28:01

Sago

Not funny and inappropriate

well I agree with sago...

a person can state their opinion without needing to answer to the bullies who don't agree! get a life some of you. god if you like it. leave others alone..

some jokes are aimed at the lowest common denominator in my opinion

Dickens Tue 14-Feb-23 09:23:42

merlotgran

^I always get a little irritated when people imply that you lack a sense of humour because you don't laugh at their jokes^

That cuts both ways when somebody declares a joke to be unfunny just because they think so.

Each to their own.

... I didn't say the joke was 'unfunny'.

In fact, I wasn't commenting on the joke at all, rather the assumptions about having (or not having) a sense of humour.

It's not for me to decide for others whether or not the joke is funny.

So I didn't.

merlotgran Tue 14-Feb-23 09:18:29

I always get a little irritated when people imply that you lack a sense of humour because you don't laugh at their jokes

That cuts both ways when somebody declares a joke to be unfunny just because they think so.

Each to their own.

lemsip Tue 14-Feb-23 09:17:46

oh, fgs.
google jokes, thousands come up just had a good laugh.
.
surely there's better things to put on here.

Dickens Tue 14-Feb-23 09:11:29

VB000

I'm glad some people on here have a sense of humour...

'Humour' is subjective. It's not an exact science.

Most people have a sense of humour, but what amuses one will not necessarily entertain another.

I always get a little irritated when people imply that you lack a sense of humour because you don't laugh at their jokes.

MerylStreep Tue 14-Feb-23 09:06:09

I know there are many here who remember GreatNan.
She loved a joke.

www.gransnet.com/forums/chat/1194016-Just-jokes?pg=2

VB000 Tue 14-Feb-23 08:59:14

Sago

merlotgran

I thought it was funny. Why is it inappropriate, sago. 🤔

I guess I view GN threads differently to others.
I feel it’s in really bad taste to come on to a forum as a new poster and tell such a joke.
I would not tell such a joke to people I had never met before.

Well I haven't "met" anyone on here during the last 6 months since joining - I'm puzzled as to how long would I have to be on here to tell a joke?

What's wrong with trying to cheer people up?

As they say, if you don't like it, can always scroll by...

merlotgran Tue 14-Feb-23 08:44:34

Neither would I, sago but this isn’t real life.

JackyB Tue 14-Feb-23 08:42:23

There have been plenty of joke threads. Not easy to find them, though. Also cartoon threads. I'll see if I can find any.

JenniferEccles Tue 14-Feb-23 08:40:20

Too predictable.
For a joke to be funny we shouldn’t be able to guess the punchline right from the start should we?

Sago Tue 14-Feb-23 08:29:26

merlotgran

I thought it was funny. Why is it inappropriate, sago. 🤔

I guess I view GN threads differently to others.
I feel it’s in really bad taste to come on to a forum as a new poster and tell such a joke.
I would not tell such a joke to people I had never met before.

Ashcombe Tue 14-Feb-23 08:19:50

merlotgran

They should have used nutcrackers.

Always works for me! 😂

My DH read this and said, “Oooh!”

Ashcombe Tue 14-Feb-23 08:18:49

We’re both still giggling. Thank you, VB000!
I’m sorry it hasn’t met with 100% approval but, as ShazzaKanazza says, we need cheering up!

VB000 Tue 14-Feb-23 08:16:19

merlotgran

They should have used nutcrackers.

Always works for me! 😂

That's a separate joke Merlotgran!

Glad you liked it ShazzaKanazza, yes I think a joke thread would be a good idea!

merlotgran Tue 14-Feb-23 08:13:47

They should have used nutcrackers.

Always works for me! 😂

ShazzaKanazza Tue 14-Feb-23 08:10:09

It’s a funny joke I liked it. VB000 a separate joke thread would be good heaven knows we need cheering up. X

VB000 Tue 14-Feb-23 08:01:18

Sago

Not funny and inappropriate

No reply from Sago

I'm glad some people on here have a sense of humour - goodness knows we need to try to see the funny side sometimes, especially at the moment, as so many people are having a difficult time.

Probably explains why so few people put jokes on here - it's perhaps a whole new thread.

timetogo2016 Mon 13-Feb-23 10:28:48

It made me laugh.

merlotgran Sun 12-Feb-23 23:03:40

I thought it was funny. Why is it inappropriate, sago. 🤔

Callistemon21 Sun 12-Feb-23 21:20:23

I'm easily pleased 😂

MerylStreep Sun 12-Feb-23 21:19:27

Callistemon21

I was reading, thinking this isn't going to be funny, not my type of joke.

But it was 😂😂😂

Same here 😂

Callistemon21 Sun 12-Feb-23 19:39:17

BlueBelle

Yes that’s a Rufus joke for sure, very dated haha

I'm obviously past my sell-by date.

Callistemon21 Sun 12-Feb-23 19:38:18

Oh dear, I must be slow 😂😂😂
I wasn't going to read it at first.

Gracesnan Sun 12-Feb-23 19:10:23

Loved it!